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Peer pressure. Eating disorders. Decisions about love, romance, and sex. Academic demands. Life goals and how to achieve them. These are just some of the challenges that girls face today—and the age at which they encounter them is getting younger and younger. As a parent, how are you guiding your daughter on her journey to womanhood? Are you equipping her to ...
Peer pressure. Eating disorders. Decisions about love, romance, and sex. Academic demands. Life goals and how to achieve them. These are just some of the challenges that girls face today—and the age at which they encounter them is getting younger and younger. As a parent, how are you guiding your daughter on her journey to womanhood? Are you equipping her to make wise choices? Whether she’s still playing with dolls or in the midst of the often-turbulent teen years, is she truly secure in her identity as your valued and loved daughter? In the New York Times bestseller Bringing Up Girls, Dr. James Dobson will help you face the challenges of raising your daughters to become strong, healthy, and confident women who excel in life. (This new edition is part of Dr. James Dobson’s Building A Family Legacy initiative.) Tyndale House Publishers
The Wonderful World of Girls
A few years ago I wrote a book called Bringing Up Boys, which has sold more than 2 million copies. Ever since it was released, people on the street, in restaurants, or in airports have approached me and asked, "When are you going to write Bringing Up Girls?" My publisher has posed the same question every time we've been together. Now, even kids have begun to hound me. This scrawled letter came to my office recently:
Dear Dr. James Dobson,
I'm 6 years old. I have two older brothers. I would like to know when you are going to write Bringing Up Girls? Because my mom really wants to train girls. I appreciate your work on the book.
Okay, Julie. You win. I'll do it. And I thank you for the nice note. I'll bet your mom put you up to writing me, because the girl she wants to train ... is you. I hope to meet you someday because you sound like a very special six-year-old.
I have received thousands of other interesting letters from boys and girls, most of whom are older than Julie. Some have been rather angry with me because they blame me for the way their parents disciplined them. A college student sent me a poem to express that sentiment a few years ago. It read:
Roses are red and violets are blue
When I was a kid, I got spanked 'cause of you
One of my favorite letters came from a fourteen-year-old girl named Tiffany, who was steaming when she wrote. She came right to the point:
I hate you dr dobson.
i had to watch the dumbest movie today about sex. you made the movie. HA! like you'd know anything about it. also my mom has started not letting me go to movies she has not read reviews about, thanks to your gay little "plugged in" program. now i have no social life since all my friends go to the movies and see good movies. all i can watch is ella enchanted. woo-pa-dee-do!
Then Tiffany took off the gloves. She must have seen a very old picture of me wearing out-of-date glasses, which prompted this last jab:
i hope you get some new glasses. because physiologist or not, your other ones take up your whole face.
Love Always, Tiffany
What a sweet girl. Only a fourteen-year-old could start a letter declaring that she hates me and end with assurances of eternal love. I'll bet Tiffany is a challenge for her mom and dad, but there are better days coming. The parents I am advising today were testy kids like Tiffany when I wrote my first book on child rearing, but now something rather funny has happened. They have grown up and produced strong-willed children of their own, and they're looking for help. It is rewarding for me to watch a second generation of moms and dads learn to deal with the same issues and problems that they presented to their parents twenty-five years ago. Who knows? Maybe I'll have an opportunity to advise a third generation when Tiffany's first baby comes along. She and other young moms from her generation will see things from an entirely different perspective then. But I am getting ahead of myself.
The title I have chosen for this book, Bringing Up Girls, makes a fundamental assertion. It assumes that parents have the responsibility of not simply overseeing the growth and development of their girls (and boys) but of raising them purposely—building into them certain qualities and traits of character. Wise King Solomon addressed that obligation more than 2,900 years ago when he wrote, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6, KJV). The apostle Paul added another dimension when he said, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4).
Think for a moment about the implications of those Scriptures. Do they mean that a child should be taught to revere God and His Son, Jesus Christ, and to understand the spiritual dimension of life? Yes, that is their first and most important meaning. But I believe they instruct us to do more than that.
Children are a gift from God, and we are stewards of their welfare. Training up our daughters in this sense implies helping them to navigate the cultural minefields that lie in their paths—teaching them eternal values, talents, and perspectives. It means instilling within them an appreciation for truthfulness, trustworthiness, self-discipline, self-control, generosity, and sweetness of spirit. It means teaching them modesty, morality, and manners. It means helping them overcome the natural inclination toward selfishness, aggressiveness, violence, and slovenliness. It means teaching them to work and learn and think. That is just the beginning, which is why parenthood is such a daunting responsibility, requiring careful forethought and planning. This is what we will be talking about in the pages that follow.
The passion I feel for the subject at hand is related to the daughter who still calls me Dad. She is grown now, but I love her like I did when we were first introduced in the delivery room. Something electric occurred between us on that mystical night, and it endures today. When Danae was three years old, I was a professor of pediatrics at a medical school and a researcher at a large children's hospital. Five days a week, as I prepared for my long commute through Los Angeles traffic, Danae would cry. She didn't want me to go. I always gave her a big hug and promised to hurry home that afternoon, but she was heartbroken. I can still see this precious kid standing in the doorway crying.
Danae was particularly upset one morning as I explained again why Daddy had to go to work. Her beautiful blue eyes welled up with tears, and she said sorrowfully, "It's all right, Daddy. I forgive you."
I asked my daughter a few weeks ago if she remembered those days. She has a remarkably vivid memory of her childhood, which is almost scary at times. She not only remembered her tears on the morning I was describing, but she recalled something that I had forgotten.
One day when she was three, she and her mother came to the front yard to wave at me as I drove away. I had already backed out of the driveway, however, and didn't see them standing there. Danae recalls that she sobbed in disappointment. But when I was a long block away, I happened to catch a glimpse of my little family in my rearview mirror. They were still frantically waving good-bye. As I was going around the corner, I put my arm out the window and waved in return. Even after all these years, Danae remembers the excitement she felt at that moment when her daddy saw her and returned her wave.
How could I, and indeed, how could we allow ourselves to get so busy with the cares of life that we would neglect our vulnerable little boys and girls and leave them unprotected from evil influences? How could we fail to give them the love and attention they crave? And how could we send them into a dangerous world without laying a secure foundation to hold them steady? No other priority comes close to this responsibility to raise our children, as Solomon said, in the way they should go. This is where we will head in the pages that follow.
We will be discussing information, approaches, answers, solutions, and recommendations that have stood the test of time. Our focus will be on the influence of mothers, fathers, teachers, and peers. We'll deal with girls of all ages, from babyhood to adulthood, and will consider the land mines that surely lie ahead. We'll talk about teaching girls to be ladies. We will discuss the search for self-worth, sexual awakening, single parenting, emotional development, and the how-tos of raising girls. And of course, we'll deal with puberty, adolescence, and the obsession with beauty.
Ultimately, we will talk about spiritual training at home and why moral purity must be taught from the preschool years to the empty nest. Therein lies our hope. There is so much to be said here. More than three thousand pages of research and reference material have been accumulated in preparation for this book. It is my thirty-third and has taken me more than three years to complete. What took me so long was trying to decide what to leave out. Everything seemed significant to me.
What I will share with you, moms and dads, has become my obsession. I get a lump in my throat when I think of those precious kids who know so little about life, and I worry about how we can protect their innocence and preserve the joys of childhood.
That is our task. So get a cup of hot coffee or put on a kettle of tea, settle down in a comfortable chair, and let's talk together.
Excerpted from Bringing Up Girls by JAMES DOBSON. Copyright © 2010 James C. Dobson. Excerpted by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Posted June 7, 2010
I really enjoyed the book "Bringing up Girls" by James Dobson. In the beginning, I thought this book would be more geared toward mothers as naturally it seems mothers want to know the best advice on raising daughters. However, once I read the book, I discovered that there is a great deal of information geared toward fathers. I shared many of the things I read with my husband, and now that I have finished the book, he has started reading it. This book was thought provoking and led my husband and I to discuss our past parenting experience as well as things that we would like to add to or change about our future parenting endeavors. James Dobson is able to provide not only information based on many years of research, but also practical information based on his experience working with girls throughout the years as well as his experience raising his own daughter. James Dobson does present a strong opinion about stay at home parenting in this book. At times, I did not like reading those sections as I am a working mother. I do feel that overall; this book is an excellent tool to use. It is based on Biblical principles and provides a loving approach to parenting. I also liked this book because you can read it no matter what age your daughter is. Our daughters are 3 and 7, but the parenting strategies used in this book could also be used for teenagers. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is concerned about raising a daughter with high moral values and a strong self esteem.
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Posted September 23, 2010
I was quite surprised at this book. Honestly, I thought when first looking at it.boring - BUT - it simply was very liberating for me, being a Mom of two very different girls.
Let me just say - this is not a book that should be left to be read by the children. It deals with some very hard issues and very "grown-up" issues.
I appreciated the wisdom that Dr. Dobson has put into this book and even though I don't always agree with everything he says - it was very informative.
Let's me just say, raising children is not an easy task and I need Godly counsel, this book is a very helpful tool.
Blessings to you! You are loved!
Note: I was sent complimentary copy for review purposes only. This review has not been monetarily compensated. The review was my honest opinion and views and not influenced by the sponsor in any way.
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"bring up girls" is a very wonderful bestseller which is very hard to put down with very exellent advice for parents and gradparents as well as older brothers and sisters and church groups. we have so many things and questianable people and organizations that can push many bad inflences into a young girls life it is very handy to have a very handy book with some helpful guidelines for a young ladys life that can help her stay away from the wrong things in life and give her a better challenge and heads up. great gift idea for a pastor friend or church library or family member .
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted September 6, 2014
Posted January 25, 2013
I received the book Bringing Up Girls by Dr. James Dobson courtesy of Tyndale Blog Network. This was a great book for me to read as I have two young daughters and another on the way. In this book Dobson uses a research based approach to educate parents on how to raise their daughters. I think he did a good job sharing information that most parents should know and understand about girls and young women. I could relate to many of ideas presented in the book. This is a good book for parents who want better insight on how to connect and understand their daughters better. I would caution that if you want a book that has many Biblical references this is not the book. As I stated earlier Dobson supports most of his advice with research and studies. I agree with much of what Dobson has to say, but as with many authors I do not agree one-hundred percent of his advice. I was especially frustrated with a question he answered in the book. The question states that their daughter is a “people pleaser” and asks for advice. He states that the parent should do nothing about it. I completely disagree with his advice and am even appalled that he would make this argument. As a Christian I know that God calls us to be a God pleaser not a people pleaser. A child who is a people pleaser will fall prey to peer pressure and will also struggle in their obedience with God. While I don’t want to discredit the rest of the book because I disagree with one thing he has written, I would caution readers to carefully reflect on what Dr. Dobson has to say and if you are Christian make sure it aligns with what the Bible has to say.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted September 8, 2012
Posted May 6, 2012
Girls have many challenges facing them these days. They are facing them at younger ages than generations before them. As parents how are we guiding them, equipping them to make wise choices. This is the ultimate guide to raising our daughters - written by a trusted family counselor, Dr. James Dobson.
I picked this book because I wanted to see what specific things he would say about girls. I have read Dare to Discipline and The Strong Willed Child. I read those two books at a time when I felt that my 3 older children were handfuls. Let me just say now that years later my fourth makes her three older siblings look like easy and laid back children.
I was definitely impressed with the way he wrote this book and has current information which is relevant to the issues I am and will be dealing with. I should say "we", as I read many passages to my husband, who is not a reader, so that we could both implement Dr. Dobson's suggestions into our teachings.
I probably underlined half of the book. I needed to have places I could go back to, so that I could remember what was suggested for each situation I encounter with my youngest daughter. I would strongly suggest to anyone with a daughter to get this book and take his advice to heart. I know that with prayer and Dr. Dobson, I may just survive raising this last daughter and she may actually survive childhood and become an admirable and beautiful young lady.
Posted April 26, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012Bringing Up Girls (A Review)
Practical advice for raising girls. This book will shape the way I lead my girls safely into womanhood.
In the shadow of Bringing Up Boys, Dr. James Dobson gives readers Bringing Up Girls. This book is Dr. Dobson's passionate plea to keep our girls from growing up too fast. This book is also a plea for our children to enjoy the wonderful childhood God has given them.
Our young women no longer believe they are beautiful and no longer see themselves as God sees them. As our girls struggle with peer pressure and the worldly demands put upon them, this book reminds parents to find their wisdom within God's word. Our young women are growing up into a different world and with different challenges. They encounter temptation younger and younger. To help our girls approach womanhood whole, use this book to remind your daughter and yourself that you are loved.
Our young women are growing up in trying circumstances as well. Dr. Dobson points out our girls are hungry physically, mentally, and spiritually for fathers. Let us as readers and believers cling to the Sovereign Lord for the redemption of families and the restoration of fatherhood within our country.
Raising children is a marathon and not for the faint of heart; let us approach it with fortitude. This book is an easy read and a breath of fresh air. An enduring message all parents need to hear and review. No one understands grace like parents as we attempt to raise our children perfectly. God only calls us to give our best. He empowers us with His Holy Spirit, to mold us, guide us, and make us into what He desires for his children to be through parenthood. God calls us to be faithful and he will transform our parenthood into victory.
I am thankful for the good questions and testimonies laid out in this book. I am also thankful to parents who were authentic and transparent whose questions/letters/encouragement give parents like me hope.
Thank to Tyndale for a free copy to review for an honest opinion
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Posted February 12, 2012
Posted December 28, 2011
Posted April 26, 2011
In a day and age when it seems tougher and more difficult to raise our children, this book offers a treasure trove of information. I will be the first to tell you that I don't know everything because, things aren't like they used to be. That makes this book a must have to help fill in the gaps.
I also recommend "When God Stopped Keeping Score." I thought that the book was just about forgiveness, I soon learned, it was about so much more. Having read it, I feel like a better person. There is a story of the mother, the daughter and the rock that warmed my heart and will do the same for you.
Posted May 15, 2010
Posted April 20, 2010
This is a very well written and informative book on bringing up girls. It is a great companion to the Bringing up Boys book. It is a must read book for any parent (mom AND dad) and/or grandparent to help in the upbringing of daughters.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted April 27, 2010
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Posted October 16, 2011
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Posted January 21, 2011
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Posted March 25, 2011
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