Brocabulary: The New Man-I-Festo of Dude Talk

( 2 )
Pick Up In Store

Pick Up in Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Paperback
$11.98
BN.com price
$14.99 List Price (Save 20%)
Marketplace (New and Used)
from
$0.99
$14.99 List Price (Save 93%)
Usually ships in 1-2 business days
All (32)  
Used (15)  
New (17)  
Close
Sort by
Page 1 of 4
Showing 1 – 10 of 32 (4 pages)
$1.99
(Save 87%)
thriftbooks-com
Seller since 2007

Feedback rating:

(5896)

Condition:

New — never opened or used in original packaging.

Like New — packaging may have been opened. A "Like New" item is suitable to give as a gift.

Very Good — may have minor signs of wear on packaging but item works perfectly and has no damage.

Good — item is in good condition but packaging may have signs of shelf wear/aging or torn packaging. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Acceptable — item is in working order but may show signs of wear such as scratches or torn packaging. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Used — An item that has been opened and may show signs of wear. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Refurbished — A used item that has been renewed or updated and verified to be in proper working condition. Not necessarily completed by the original manufacturer.

Very Good
Book has appearance of light use with no easily noticeable wear. Millions of satisfied customers and climbing. Thriftbooks is the name you can trust, guaranteed. Spend Less. ... Read More. Read more Show Less

Ships from: Auburn, WA

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$1.99
(Save 87%)
Free State Books
Seller since 2012

Feedback rating:

(1000)

Condition: Acceptable
Free State Books. Never settle for less.

Ships from: Halethorpe, MD

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$1.99
(Save 87%)
Free State Books
Seller since 2012

Feedback rating:

(1000)

Condition: Like New
Nearly brand new book that shows only slight signs of wear. Free State Books. Never settle for less.

Ships from: Halethorpe, MD

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$1.99
(Save 87%)
Silver Arch Books
Seller since 2010

Feedback rating:

(1295)

Condition: Acceptable
Selection as wide as the Mississippi.

Ships from: St Louis, MO

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$1.99
(Save 87%)
ThriftIt
Seller since 2010

Feedback rating:

(269)

Condition: Acceptable
Book is in good reading condition. Cover has wear at edges and corners, and may have creases. Spine has wear at edges and may have creases.

Ships from: Washington, DC

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$3.69
(Save 75%)
Horizon Books OH
Seller since 2005

Feedback rating:

(3952)

Condition: Like New
Fine Bent Corner, Pages in Excellent Condition

Ships from: Cleveland, OH

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$4.15
(Save 72%)
spellbound PA
Seller since 2005

Feedback rating:

(9709)

Condition: Like New
10/7/2008 Paperback Fine 0061547565 LIKE NEW/UNREAD! ! ! Text is Clean and Unmarked! ! ! --Be Sure to Compare Seller Feedback and Ratings before Purchasing--Has a small black ... line on the bottom/exterior edge of pages. Read more Show Less

Ships from: McKeesport, PA

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$4.19
(Save 72%)
spellbound PA
Seller since 2005

Feedback rating:

(9709)

Condition: Very Good
Very Good 0061547565 Very Good Condition and Unread! Text is clean and unmarked! Minor shelf wear to cover from storage, crease/small tear. --Be Sure to Compare Seller Feedback ... and Ratings before Purchasing--Has a small black line on bottom/exterior edge of pages. Read more Show Less

Ships from: McKeesport, PA

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$4.20
(Save 72%)
spellbound PA
Seller since 2005

Feedback rating:

(9709)

Condition: New
New 0061547565 NEW/UNREAD. Publisher overstock.

Ships from: McKeesport, PA

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$7.10
(Save 53%)
American Book Fairs PA
Seller since 2006

Feedback rating:

(452)

Condition: New
2008-10-01 PAP New NEW CONDITION OTHER THAN PUBLISHERS REMAINDER MARK!

Ships from: North Huntingdon, PA

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
Page 1 of 4
Showing 1 – 10 of 32 (4 pages)
Close
Sort by
NOOK Book (eBook)
$10.99
BN.com price

Available on NOOK devices and apps

  • Nook Devices
  • NOOK
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for iPad
  • NOOK for iPhone
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK for Android (Tablet)
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK Study
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

More About This Book

Overview

Put down your BlackBerry, you PDA-hole, and step into the testosterzone with Brocabulary. Wax fandiloquent about your favorite team or have a fargone-versation at the bar. Brocabulary leaves the vagibberish to the chicks and shows you how to:
  • Define your stripping point (the precise number of Jäger shots it takes to make a woman want to get naked with you).
  • Conceal a bangover after a night of excessive sex.
  • Elect yourself the next Abraham Drinkin' and make an Inebriation Proclamation ("Four whores and seven beers ago...")

Stop Brocrastinating!
It's time to become everyone's guydol buy leaving your mark on dudescussions for generations to come.

Editorial Reviews

New York Times -- T Style Magazine
“[An] anthem to the joys of male bonding...”

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780061547560
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 10/7/2008
  • Pages: 240
  • Sales rank: 335,461
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.20 (h) x 0.50 (d)

Meet the Author

Daniel Maurer is a manthropologist and an editor of New York magazine's award-winning food and nightlife blog Grub Street. His writing has appeared in the New York Times, Nerve.com, McSweeney's, and Metro. He lives in New York.

Read an Excerpt


Brocabulary
The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk

By Daniel Maurer
HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
Copyright © 2008

Daniel Maurer
All right reserved.


ISBN: 9780061547560

Chapter One

Brommunication

(n.) The art of communicating in a brophisticated manner, with or about your bros

They say that right after God created man, he took a rib from him and made a chick. That's actually a bit of a creation myth—the truth is, after God saw that man was good, he created another man and saw that it was all good. For many days these bros lived in a veritable "beer garden of Eden" where they could just pick cans of Schlitz off of trees. One day, though, a chick showed up and asked Adam if he could pick a Jell-O shot off of a certain tree he had been told not to touch—Adam figured, why not, if it'll get this girl wasted. Next thing, God was turning on the lights and telling everyone to go home, party's over, if anyone broke anything their parents will be called.

Before this chick screwed everything up, Adam gave his bro a list of rules written on a bar napkin:

The ten brommandments

 1. I am your bro. Thou shalt not put hos before me.
 2. Thou shalt not take the dudeonym or brewdonym of thy bro in vain.
 3. Thou shalt not make unto my forehead while I am passed out any graven image, or any likeness of a cock and balls.
 4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keepit wholly devoted to watching football.
 5. Honor my father and my mother: No mother jokes.
 6. Thou shalt not kill the keg without first pouring me some.
 7. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Adults are lame.
 8. Thou shalt not steal my girl.
 9. Thou shalt not bear false witness, especially when refereeing a game of beer pong.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, unless of course she's a MILF.

Ever since these bro-nos were first issued, dudes have been broing down with a religious fervor. Strangely, though, the brocabulary one might use to describe these brotesque situations hasn't kept up with the words we use for guy-girl sitches. Argue with your girlfriend and you've had a "lover's spat," but how do you describe a tiff with your bro? The following words should be of some help when you're living—or just describing—the life brotastic.

abroha – A way to say "hello" and "goodbye" to your bro.

brocaine – Cocaine injested during a circle snort.

Whoever said "hugs not drugs" clearly never did blow with their bros. Get four dudes in a room for some serious keybauchery and you'll see so many group hugs it's like an episode of Golden Guys, with everyone slapping each other on the back and saying "thank you for being a bro." The downside of this dudephoria is that it sometimes causes you to guybernate. You stay in someone's apartment watching Scarface and having cokeversations such as: "Fuck, Kill, Marry: Selma Hayak, Penelope Cruz, and Paz Vega." After cutting line after line with a gramboni (a credit card that flattens a gram of coke like a Zamboni smoothing over ice), you become extremely blowquacious and you talk about poontang all night instead of chasing it. Next thing you know, it's 6 a.m. and you're wearing a duststache and having a dawnversation about how you have to go to work in a couple of hours. Wouldn't you rather be doing body blow? Of course you would. Nothing beats doing bumps off a chick's lumps Neil Patrick Harris–style.

brocrastination – Killing time with your bros in order to avoid something tedious and soulcrushing your girl has in store for you.

Girls never understand why their boyfriends are always flip-ping through their brolodexes trying to find someone—anyone—other than them to hang out with. "But you were with them last night," they'll whine. Yes, and you'll be with them every night as long as your only other option is watching Friends reruns with her and her diarrhetic cat.

Ironically, brocrastinating often ends up being as tedious as the thing you're avoiding, especially when your bro starts telling manecdotes you've heard one too many times, like the one about hooking up with the PanAm stewardess. Can't he bang someone on JetBlue already? Any airline that still exists? They don't even call them stewardesses anymore!

Sooner or later you realize you've reached the night's dudenoument—when a bunch of dudes who clearly aren't getting laid are sitting around sipping their last three or four rounds discussing all that was and might have been ("Dude, I can't believe you didn't kick it to that one chick—she was eyeing you like you were dog food").

It's good to have a post-game bro, but at this point you're likely to be in a state of mild cock shock that suddenly there's no more pussy left in the bar. You check your watch and realize that if you head home now, your girlfriend still might give you a beej. It's the point of ho return. But your bros aren't going to let you bounce without applying a heavy amount of beer pressure.

Refusing to have just one more is a strict violation of brotocol—it's worse than if an old lady asked you to help her across the street and you told her to suck it. The brocial contract says you're all there to drink until the bar closes, someone gets arrested, or someone gets violently ill. In fact, a rendez-dudes is much like an ill-fated space shuttle launch: There's no bailing out and it doesn't end until chunks are flying everywhere.

At some point, though, you're going to have to return to your significant bother. That's when you break out the "shit scale" and weigh the crap you're going to take from your boys for bailing on them against the wet bag of shit that's going to be pimpsmacked across your face if you come home sloshed at 4 a.m. slurring, "I missed wha? I thought your mom's birthday dinner was tomorrow night . . ."



Continues...

Excerpted from Brocabulary by Daniel Maurer Copyright © 2008 by Daniel Maurer. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 2.5
( 2 )

Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(1)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(1)

Your Rating:

Review Guidelines
Add Recommendations
Your Name: Create a Pen Name or Leave Anonymously

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identiy on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

We're sorry, but penname is already taken.

Please select one of the following:
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

penname is available!

By visiting the BN.com website or marking a purchase on BN.com, a User is deemed to have accepted the Terms of Use.

Continue Anonymously

Welcome, penname

You have successfully created your Pen Name. Start enjoying the benefits of the BN.com Community today.

Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews

  • Posted January 13, 2012

    Very funny indeed! Highly recommended.

    I bought this for the partner of a friend, Boot, who claims that our male counterparts have a "bromance" going on. She and her guy met us for New Year's Day brunch. The four of us had a hoot, reading from it at the table.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted March 28, 2010

    Hilarious Bathroom Humor for Men

    This book provided me with hours of laughs while reading alone or in a group of men sharing words and paraphrases from the book that left all our sides splitting.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews
If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)
500 character limit