Broken Silence

Broken Silence

by James R. Dixon
     
 

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Broken Silence presents a collection of very personal poems that get to the heart of who author James R. Dixon is and what he has to say. He believes that sometimes the quiet ones have the most to say, but getting others to hear them can be a problem. Being different can mean that you may find yourself explaining your actions to others. Dixon has

Overview

Broken Silence presents a collection of very personal poems that get to the heart of who author James R. Dixon is and what he has to say. He believes that sometimes the quiet ones have the most to say, but getting others to hear them can be a problem. Being different can mean that you may find yourself explaining your actions to others. Dixon has written Broken Silence to explain his feelings and emotions on many subjects that are important to him, as well as to change everyone's preconceived notions about him.

After years of being persecuted by others who don't approve of him, Broken Silence is also his break-through collection explaining his thoughts and feelings on relationships and other personal issues. Divided into four sections covering love, emotions, resilience, and good, these verse seek to offer hope and inspiration to others who are struggling to find themselves in the world.

Misery Loves Company

Third time is said to be a charm, but turned out that it wasn't

So what do I make of dating you as I felt my time was a waste

Good times were minimal, but then it becomes clear

You were brought here to teach me a lesson

About karma as they say what goes around comes around

I've been around with you on more than one occasion

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781462072569
Publisher:
iUniverse, Incorporated
Publication date:
12/20/2011
Pages:
108
Product dimensions:
8.25(w) x 11.00(h) x 0.22(d)

Read an Excerpt

Broken Silence


By James R. Dixon

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2011 James R. Dixon
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4620-7256-9


Chapter One

Love Side

Fool Of Me Virgin Tainted Love Brokenhearted Love Is Blind Misery Loves Company Frustration Within A Nation Hypnotized Mind The Great Annoyance Wonder Woman Ungrateful Broken Promises Cold December

      Fool Of Me

    When I look into your eyes
    It's hard for me to believe
    You don't recognize the signs
    I like you and want you to adore me
    My sunshine
    Turn my fantasy into reality
    As you unwind
    Visualize a future with me
    Or at least this was what I wanted for us
    I'm unclear if you wanted this from me
    Though this whole time I'm begging love
    To stop making a fool of me

    When I look at my life
    I don't see you with me
    I feel lonely inside
    In need of your company indeed
    My sunshine
    Is occupied though I wish was reserved for me
    So I explain to you that I visualize
    You and me in emotional harmony
    Or at least this was what I wanted for us
    I'm unclear if you wanted this from me
    Though this whole time I'm begging love
    To stop making a fool of me


      Tainted Love

    Recognize
    Fantasize
    Visualize

    Me thinking of you while you think of me
    Our thoughts emotionally entwining
    While our hearts harmonize
    Singing a song deeper than Mary J Blige
    Deep penetration inside you to relax after a long day
    Champagne on the night stand to take the stress away
    Then I heard something I didn't want to believe
    Me and another man shared your same intimacy
    Your response was "can't we all be free"
    The love sounds good to you, but it sounds tainted to me

    Recognize
    Fantasize
    Visualize

    Our love experienced on a new plateau
    And getting higher; your elevated feelings for me is what I desire
    It burns me like fire; when it comes down to the wire
    I will do anything to appease you
    It comforts me to satisfy and please you
    I love you! Please believe my feelings are true
    Then I heard something I didn't want to believe
    You gave another man the same speech you gave me
    Your response was "he like you showed interest in me"
    The love sounds good to you, but it sounds tainted to me


      Love Is Blind

    Till death do us part
    That was the commitment I wanted from you
    I've invested everything
    Even defended you against my own family
    Without you my heart suffered
    A long summer blight
    Followed by a cold winter
    Full of many sleepless nights
    I would cry in my sleep
    Wishing you were there
    To replenish a broken heart
    Currently in despair
    Those in my past polluted my air
    But you were a fresh breathe
    I'd always panic for my phone
    To check for a missed call or a text
    The sound of your voice
    Helped to relieve my distress
    Along with the quiet nights
    When I'd rest my head on your chest

    Marriage was soon to follow
    As this sounded like the perfect picture
    Then reality instantly sets it
    It was revealed you were only with me to get richer
    But look at the big picture
    I asked you to be the mother of my kids
    When one minute you hated my guts
    Then the next you could care less if I lived
    Threatening my livelihood
    By posting embarrassing pictures of things I did
    Threatening to discard birth control pills to sabotage our relationship
    Forcing our potential infants to become bastards
    By not allowing their father to see his children
    The moment I got my publishing deal, you were the first to witness
    Assuming we were going to live in sin
    In the piece of real estate I purchased
    I'm unaware if you've heard this
    But I don't condone
    You using me as your stepping stone
    To get ahead, but you're still worthless

Senryu Intermission

Love is blind and has Impaired my vision In time it will heal for me

Love is blind! The second you let your guard down too far it will take over your mind.

      Frustration Within A Nation

    Our styles were different
      Mine was inspirational
        Whereas you wanted someone

    Who would let you do what you wanted to do
      Screw who you wanted to screw
        But I wouldn't let you

    Do what you wanted to do
      As I felt my way was the best way
        And your way others couldn't relate

    They couldn't help but to debate
      The idiotic methods of your transformation
        Which led to undesirable emancipation

    Bringing about broken spirits
      And shattered dreams
        No self respect, low self-esteem

    No sense of self worth
      As it's been thrown in back of a hearse
        Meant to be buried beneath my feet

    Oh so depressing
      And extremely frustrating
        It was to think of you with me

The Great Annoyance


Since the day we split my frustration has erected
Due to my heart being neglected
I was truly disrespected
Rest assured you folded under the pressure
Your insecurities were the worst
As you would play the victim role
When you weren't even hurt
You solely got on my nerves
Arguing with me every chance you had
You wondered why I always got mad
I was tired of you crying when you were sad
And trying to gain sympathy to make me feel bad
Especially when you brought this all on yourself
After all, it was you who threw me on the shelf
I was obviously not what you wanted
Now you're calling me claiming your nights are haunted
By the ghost of me in which you fear to see
But you won't get a tear from me
So I then got the impression you tried to trap me
By claiming you were pregnant and I was the daddy

But the reality is your attitude is jacked up
Yelling like a fire breathing dragon so I backed up
You only made yourself look stupid
As I learned to ignore you and got used to it
I felt like I was walking on egg shells around you
Watching every word I said so you wouldn't claim I hurt you
With everyone else, your mouth was so steek
For someone with a loud bark, your bite was so weak
But when it came to me, you were fierce when confronting me
Yelling, Fussing, Screaming, and Cussing
Finally I found joy in that being all over
And you wanted it to start again, but it was over

      Ungrateful

    Just when the doubts were out that you would never make it
    The show stopper stepped in, picked up the show, and saved it
    Before me you were a drunken slob, fully intoxicated
    I revamped your lifestyle, but did you ever appreciate it?
    I took you from ghetto to class and props you started to take it
    I stripped your hands of the alcohol so your life wouldn't get wasted
    Your girlfriends were jealous! Seeing us together, they began to hate it
    I made you popular, but did you ever appreciate it?

    Degrading your body by wearing low cut tops to show your D-Cups
    You went from dressing slutty to a classy senorita
    Due to my improvements on you everyone was desperate to meet us
    I gave you your self-respect, but did you ever appreciate it?
    I put you in school and finally got you out of the clubs
    I introduced you to classy men rather than dating thugs
    Before me you made it rain; because of me you now make it flood
    I provided you with diamonds instead of studs, but did you ever appreciate it?

    I got you to believe the day you met me was pure fate
    I got you off the cheeseburgers and now you're losing weight
    At first you couldn't buy a man, but now you have dates
    Your life was depressing until I made it great, but did you ever appreciate it?
    I got you thinking positive by pulling you out of that evil mind state
    With your new attitude people won't be tempted to slap you in your face
    You were once gay until I converted you straight
    I gave you a new life, but did you ever appreciate it?

    All I ever wanted was a thank you! You're so ungrateful!


      Cold December

    Brace yourself for a Cold December
    Tell me if you remember


    Brace yourself for a Cold December
    As you will be spending it alone this winter
    You pushed me out of your life; I hope you remembered
    The times we had and things I've done since September
    Of the year before as it won't happen anymore
    Your childish antics and temper tantrums
    Should be non-existent; you're twenty-eight
    It's sad you still live life this way

    Brace yourself for a Cold December
    Tell me if you remember


    Tell me if you remember
    Your jealous ways and underhanded display
    Of a mature woman; it was all just a cover
    Like your positive attitude and words you spoke to my mother
    As they were all lies which meant you put up a front
    Like an Oscar nominated actress telling all the lies you want
    As time passed I began to see right through you
    You're a boozer! You're not confident and strong! You're a loser!

    Brace yourself for a Cold December!

Senryu Intermission

I once felt lucky To have you Now I feel lucky To have you gone

I poured my heart and soul to you only to get ignored. Then you taunted me for lacking emotional forbearance. You annoyed me with your constant blaming, crying, and complaining. You annoyed me by humming the tune of your same old song.

      Virgin

    When the sun fades, rain shall restore

    As my love for you exist no more

    I used to spend my nights thinking about how we fought

    You were the forefront of my mind, now you're an after thought

    Soon to be forgotten due to your lack of gratitude

    The bitter judgments you pass provoke your attitude

    The hell I've experienced wasn't worth the price of keeping you

    As the calamitous words you spoke became true

    You met your match with me and weren't ready for this

    All the while I waited for you to admit, you weren't ready to commit

    You lost your composure and strength; you became an emotional wreck

    You don't have the mental capabilities to handle a relationship

    I wouldn't dare ask you to come back because I wanted you to leave

    To make my life worth living and become stress free

    You brought pain to me and ignorance; you see

    I'm better off without you and my conscience is free


      Brokenhearted

    You are coldhearted; I am brokenhearted
    You physically corrupted me; I emotionally trusted you
    You are ruthless and condescending
    I was foolish to believe

    That you and me would last for eternity

    I am brokenhearted that you're so coldhearted
    I fully loved you; you took advantage of me
    You are selfish and disrespecting
    I was foolish to believe

    That you and me would last for eternity

    Resentment is all over my face from not letting you go away
    The first time you chose to leave I shouldn't have retrieved

    Now you're withdrawn for good and I can finally be free
    From your ruthless, condescending, selfish, and disrespecting deeds

Senryu Intermission

Patience is a virtue In which you didn't Possess any with me

Your insane actions that were caused by inebriation are the reasons you need anger management. I'm curious to know how you can look yourself in the mirror without vomiting.

      Misery Loves Company


    Third time is said to be a charm, but turned out that it wasn't
    So what do I make of dating you as I felt my time was a waste

    Good times were minimal, but then it becomes clear
    You were brought here to teach me a lesson
    About karma as they say what goes around comes around
    I've been around with you on more than one occasion

    There was no coronation
    I would constantly hit the ground
    Many said I would rue the day that I met you
    The thought of it made me cry as I would deny
    Somehow I was in love and was morally blind
    My feelings for you left faster than they came in my sights
    From being disgusted in your behavior
    Despicable you who bowed to alcohol as your savior

    Only to become a raging drunk
    More than what you already was
    It should've been nothing more than lust
    How the hell did I fall in love?

    Maybe I was drunk, or hurting in my heart
    So you capitalized at the expense of my vulnerability
    But rather than continue
    You get a thank you from me
    Because being around you
    Helped me realize what I don't want to be

    Pathetic, weak, a loser, and a dead beat!
    You're dead to me; you no longer exist!


      Hypnotized Mind

    Every time I spoke to you
      You sounded like you were in a trance
    You never got the reaction you wanted
      Simultaneously you ignored my advance
    So now I understand; I get it
    I'm a visionary; you're a witness
    I'm a witness to your lack of vision
      Prosperity for you died and has no longer risen
    That explains why you wanted me back
      Questioning my involvement with another woman
    Raising hell in my face; causing drama behind my back
      Giving me flack about every woman I contact
    Then everything you bought you asked for it back
      I'm on an emotional rollercoaster
    I'm dying to get off
      Make up your mind because you're running out of time

    One minute you say you love me
      The next you want me out of your life
    Constantly screaming and cussing
      Making yourself out to be the victim in every fight
    I consider you dead weight
      There's no way I can prosper with you around
    Just when I thought I was ahead you'd stack the deck
      Consider psychiatric help; you're an emotional wreck

(Continues...)



Excerpted from Broken Silence by James R. Dixon Copyright © 2011 by James R. Dixon. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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