Bulletproof Mascara

( 7 )

Overview

Q: What do you get when you cross Avon Ladies with Charlie’s Angels?

A: A world-class intelligence organization run by women who really know their foundation.

When Nikki Lanier signs up as a cosmetics rep at Carrie Mae, it’s hardly her idea of a dream job. With a degree in linguistics and a hard-core workout regimen, the twenty-six-year-old redhead once had hopes for a real career. But unemployed and desperate to escape life at home with her ...

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Bulletproof Mascara: A Novel

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Overview

Q: What do you get when you cross Avon Ladies with Charlie’s Angels?

A: A world-class intelligence organization run by women who really know their foundation.

When Nikki Lanier signs up as a cosmetics rep at Carrie Mae, it’s hardly her idea of a dream job. With a degree in linguistics and a hard-core workout regimen, the twenty-six-year-old redhead once had hopes for a real career. But unemployed and desperate to escape life at home with her nagging mother, she’ll try anything—even selling makeup to housewives. Soon, Nikki learns that the powder and lipstick are simply cover-up for the Carrie Mae Foundation: a secret organization of international espionage and high-tech mascara founded for the purpose of “helping women everywhere.”

Whisked off to Thailand with the legendary Carrie Mae agent Val Robinson, Nikki is soon in over her head. Between investigating the abduction of a human rights activist, tracking down a murderous arms dealer, keeping up with her wildly dangerous new partner, and occasionally trying to date a hunk who may or may not be CIA, Nikki has to use all the courage and cosmetic technology she’s got to bring down the bad guys and get out alive.

With the support of the colorful Carrie Mae crew, Nikki will overcome even the most harrowing obstacles—including incessant phone calls from her mother—or die trying.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
“A delicious spy spoof debut… Maines deftly combines humor with action in this fashion-forward thriller, which will remind many of such TV shows as Charlie's Angels, Alias, and Heroes” —Publishers Weekly

“A tale full of surprises, with a clever premise….this madcap romantic adventure is as humorous as it is action-packed” —Booklist

"Mix a pinch of James Bond with a dab of pepper spray body splash, add in a handful of humor and one nagging mother, and you've got BULLETPROOF MASCARA. Bethany Maines' debut is great escapist fun!" —- Susan McBride, author of The Cougar Club

Publishers Weekly
In Maines's delicious spy spoof debut, wide-eyed linguist Nikki Lanier joins the “confidential side” of Carrie Mae, a cosmetics giant like Mary Kay or Avon, whose charity foundation uses covert means to help women. Nikki doesn't bat an eyelash as she undergoes rigorous training at the company's academy in Santa Clarita, Calif., where female spies are stylishly equipped with gizmos like “pepper spray perfume, flash grenade lipsticks, mini-scanner compacts, knockout breath mints, acid nail polish, plastic explosive foundation, and stiletto stilettos.” With Valerie Robinson, a jaded pro, Nikki embarks on her first mission, to rescue Lawan Chinnawat, “one of the loudest voices protesting the sex trade that flourishes throughout Asia,” who's been abducted. The plot takes a few surprise twists before reaching the exciting climax. Maines deftly combines humor with action in this fashion-forward thriller, which will remind many of such TV shows as Charlie's Angels, Alias, and Heroes. (Mar.)
Kirkus Reviews
Mary Kay-like company recruits hapless linguist to become a guerrilla for women's rights. A brief prologue introduces Nikki, downing martinis in a Vancouver bar to drown her sorrows after yet another futile job interview. Her degree in linguistics seems to spell permanent unemployability. She's not even cheered when handsome attorney Z'ev asks her to temporarily impersonate his wife, so he can avoid having to date the sister of shipping magnate Sarkassian, a Very Important Client. Cut to Burbank, Calif., corporate headquarters of Carrie Mae Cosmetics. Back in Canada, desperate Nikki made a house call with a Carrie Mae starter kit, but proved not to be cut out for sales: When a prospective customer refused to buy, she forced the woman to eat a lipstick. National sales director Miranda Merrivel concludes that Nikki's skills will be better employed in Carrie Mae's secret cadre of commandos, schooled in all manner of martial arts, who undertake clandestine missions to champion oppressed women. Fresh from CM boot camp, Nikki heads for Thailand to investigate the disappearance of human-rights advocate Lawan Chinnawat, who runs a free clinic and education program to prevent impoverished women and children from falling prey to sex traffickers. Lawan had been pushing for more stringent screening of shipping containers leaving Bangkok, and Nikki discovers that an employee at her clinic was selling patient records to none other than Sarkassian. Far-fetched misadventures ensue involving lethal high-tech gadgets masquerading as mascara tubes, lipstick, charm bracelets, etc., plus plenty of old-fashioned firepower. Lawan's daughter Lindawati is kidnapped from boarding school. Z'ev, who may be CIA,offers scant help as Nikki learns that Sarkassian bought the patient records so he could identify-and abduct-only those healthy enough to survive a transoceanic journey crammed into shipping containers before being sold into sexual servitude. Aiming to be a humorous romance-thriller, Maines' over-the-top debut sinks under an absurdly convoluted plot and a plethora of gizmos that would overwhelm 007.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780743292771
  • Publisher: Atria Books
  • Publication date: 3/2/2010
  • Edition description: Original
  • Pages: 392
  • Product dimensions: 5.30 (w) x 8.20 (h) x 1.20 (d)

Meet the Author

Bethany Maines lives in Tacoma, Washington where she works as a graphic designer for an architectural firm. She graduated from Western Washington University, traveled a bit, received her second-degree black belt in karate, ran a marathon, and was recently married.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 7 )
Rating Distribution

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Sort by: Showing all of 7 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 1, 2013

    Fabulous

    I read this expecting just a story to pass the time, but found muself engrossed. Was such a great plot with fun characters that I couldn't stop reading!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 8, 2013

    Kaiden

    Hay baby. Sorry i havent talked to u

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 15, 2013

    Hidy

    Gtg

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  • Posted August 26, 2011

    Perfect

    It is wonderful, frothy, and fun! Could not put it down, started reading it on a plane kept reading all the way through.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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    Posted May 5, 2010

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    Posted December 24, 2011

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    Posted July 6, 2010

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Sort by: Showing all of 7 Customer Reviews

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