The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School--How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence

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More About This Book

Overview

It's the deadliest combination going: bullies who terrorize, bullied kids who are afraid to tell, bystanders who watch, and adults who see the incidents as a normal part of childhood. All it takes to understand that this is a recipe for tragedy is a glance at headlines across the country. In this updated edition of The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander, which includes a new section on cyberbullying, one of the world's most trusted parenting educators gives parents, caregivers, educators—and most of all, kids—the tools to break the cycle of violence.

Drawing on her decades of work with troubled youth, and her wide experience in the areas of conflict resolution and reconciliatory justice, Barbara Coloroso explains:

  • The three kinds of bullying, and the differences between boy and girl bullies
  • Four abilities that protect your child from succumbing to bullying
  • Seven steps to take if your child is a bully
  • How to help the bullied child heal and how to effectively discipline the bully
  • How to evaluate a school's antibullying policy
  • And much more

This compassionate and practical guide has become the groundbreaking reference on the subject of bullying.

Editorial Reviews

Education Today
“If you are a parent or teacher, you should read this book.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780061744600
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 5/12/2009
  • Edition description: Updated
  • Pages: 272
  • Sales rank: 54,949
  • Product dimensions: 5.20 (w) x 7.90 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Barbara Coloroso is the author of the international bestseller Kids Are Worth It! and Parenting Through Crisis and is an acclaimed speaker on parenting, teaching, conflict, resolution, and grieving. Featured in Time, the New York Times, and on many radio and television shows, she lives with her husband in Littleton, Colorado.

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 20 )

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 16, 2010

    This is a must read for all parents for middle school and high aged children

    This books should be read by all parents, teachers, and school administrators. It highlights one of the largest issues facing our kids today.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted November 15, 2009

    Great book

    This is a great book for anyone with a child in a social situation. There are many adults in many settings that could benefit from this book. Not only for the children but there are adults that also bully. Excellent book.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted March 15, 2012

    Blames the bullied??!!!

    Culpability for bullying or criminal behavior rests solely on the person who exhibits bullying behavior---and they are not all "leaders" in the making. What is wrong is wrong--- "roles" simply obsficate this.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted May 11, 2011

    Approaching Bullying from an outsiders standpoint

    The Author Barbara Coloroso does a great job of explaining how a bully comes to be and what can be done to reverse the bullying process. She brings up an interesting point about how people that watch bullying happen, without interfering, are actually encouraging it. They are giving the bully support of a crowd or an "audience". She elaborates on the different aspects of the bully and the bullied. She gives several examples about how victims of bullying are targeted and why. She also explains the psychology of a bully and how most bullies are manufactured and are just a byproduct of being bullied. Thus, creating a vicious cycle of discrimination, degradation, and ignorance.
    PS. Do not get offended by the"Pen Name" it's just a joke. I have no intentions of offending anybody.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted May 10, 2011

    Message of the book, and some things I found valuable

    The author Barbara Coloroso does an excellent job at approaching the over all idea of bullying and the damaging effects of it. Coloroso explains it in a unique way by suggesting it similar to how a play or screen write would play out. Everyone has specific actions and use of vocabulary. For instance, the bully is described as dressing, speaking, and acting the part of a bully. The bully acts on four markers: imbalance of power, intent to harm, threat of further aggression, and terror. These attributes given to the bully are secured more when others join in and become a bully themselves. Many different types of bullying include: verbal, physical and relational which Coloroso goes into depth of each. She gives many examples through touching real life experiences which many times lead to a tragedy. She talks about the bullying circle of how many people have a chance to stop it and know exactly what is going on but fear retaliation or just figure its not their problem. The over all attempt is to make the victim feel powerless and many times they succeed. She also includes a chapter on cyber bullying which is now a very real thing especially in today's technologically involved society. How low-tech bullying, Coloroso calls it, and cyber bullying is combined to often have a quicker reaction and breakdown of a victims self worth. I found this to be a really good read with some excellent examples and values that people should address.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 10, 2003

    Great

    This book along with Marcy and Her Friends by NEC Iankowitz are staples in my home.

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