Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School -- How Parents and Teachers Can Break the Cycle of Violence

Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School -- How Parents and Teachers Can Break the Cycle of Violence

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by Barbara Coloroso
     
 

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Bestselling author and parenting educator Barbara Coloroso explains the phenomenon of bullying and the explosive proportions it has reached in our society, explaining what parents and other caregivers can do to recognise and help bullies and their victims before the violence becomes entrenched or tragically escalates.

Barbara Coloroso draws on her

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Overview

Bestselling author and parenting educator Barbara Coloroso explains the phenomenon of bullying and the explosive proportions it has reached in our society, explaining what parents and other caregivers can do to recognise and help bullies and their victims before the violence becomes entrenched or tragically escalates.

Barbara Coloroso draws on her decades of work with youth, parents, and educators, to reveal the dynamics that give rise to bullying and what parents, schools, and communities can do to stop, heal, and prevent it. She reveals:

. the essential triad – the bully, the bullied, and the bystander – that allows bullying to happen;

. the difference between bullying and teasing;

. what to do if your child is the victim of a bully;

. what to do if your child bullies – how to mend and restore rather than isolate and punish the bully;

. how to defuse hostility and teach six steps for conflict resolution;

. a constructive alternative to zero tolerance.

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Editorial Reviews

Education Today
“If you are a parent or teacher, you should read this book.
Publishers Weekly
This is an extremely helpful book that both parents and teachers can use to deal with bullying, an aspect of school that the author feels "is a life-and-death issue that we ignore at our children's peril." Staring with a bottom-line assumption that "bullying is a learned behavior," Coloroso (Parenting Through Crisis) wonderfully explains not only the ways that the bully, the bullied and the bystander are "three characters in a tragic play" but also how "the scripts can be rewritten, new roles created, the plot changed." For each of the three "characters," she breaks down the behavior that defines each role, analyzes the specific ways that each character can have their behaviors changed for the better, and suggests a range of methods that parents and educators can use to identify bullying behavior and deal with it effectively. The book also provides excellent insights into behaviors related to but not always recognized as bullying, such as cliques, hazing, taunting and sexual bullying. And while there have been numerous books about bullies, this volume is perhaps best for its sections on the "bystander," the person whose behavior is too often overlooked or excused. Coloroso's emphasis on aikido-related defensive skills do not sufficiently address the issue of what a child is to do when physical force is necessary to stop a bully, but overall this is an important look at the ways that bullied children can affirm their dignity and self-worth. (Feb.) Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780060014292
Publisher:
HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:
02/01/2003
Edition description:
1ST
Pages:
240
Product dimensions:
6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.85(d)

Meet the Author

Barbara Coloroso is the author of the international bestseller Kids Are Worth It! and Parenting Through Crisis and is an acclaimed speaker on parenting, teaching, conflict, resolution, and grieving. Featured in Time, the New York Times, and on many radio and television shows, she lives with her husband in Littleton, Colorado.

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Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander 3.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 21 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This books should be read by all parents, teachers, and school administrators. It highlights one of the largest issues facing our kids today.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a great book for anyone with a child in a social situation. There are many adults in many settings that could benefit from this book. Not only for the children but there are adults that also bully. Excellent book.
bgeorge More than 1 year ago
I had to read this book for a class I'm taking on Bullying in schools. It is informative, but I don't necessarily agree with everything the author says about bullying. There are better books out there on the topic such as Queen Bees and Wanabes. That's a great one for parents.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Culpability for bullying or criminal behavior rests solely on the person who exhibits bullying behavior---and they are not all "leaders" in the making. What is wrong is wrong--- "roles" simply obsficate this.
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Transvest-write More than 1 year ago
The Author Barbara Coloroso does a great job of explaining how a bully comes to be and what can be done to reverse the bullying process. She brings up an interesting point about how people that watch bullying happen, without interfering, are actually encouraging it. They are giving the bully support of a crowd or an "audience". She elaborates on the different aspects of the bully and the bullied. She gives several examples about how victims of bullying are targeted and why. She also explains the psychology of a bully and how most bullies are manufactured and are just a byproduct of being bullied. Thus, creating a vicious cycle of discrimination, degradation, and ignorance. PS. Do not get offended by the"Pen Name" it's just a joke. I have no intentions of offending anybody.
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Guest More than 1 year ago
This book along with Marcy and Her Friends by NEC Iankowitz are staples in my home.
T_Johnson More than 1 year ago
The author Barbara Coloroso does an excellent job at approaching the over all idea of bullying and the damaging effects of it. Coloroso explains it in a unique way by suggesting it similar to how a play or screen write would play out. Everyone has specific actions and use of vocabulary. For instance, the bully is described as dressing, speaking, and acting the part of a bully. The bully acts on four markers: imbalance of power, intent to harm, threat of further aggression, and terror. These attributes given to the bully are secured more when others join in and become a bully themselves. Many different types of bullying include: verbal, physical and relational which Coloroso goes into depth of each. She gives many examples through touching real life experiences which many times lead to a tragedy. She talks about the bullying circle of how many people have a chance to stop it and know exactly what is going on but fear retaliation or just figure its not their problem. The over all attempt is to make the victim feel powerless and many times they succeed. She also includes a chapter on cyber bullying which is now a very real thing especially in today's technologically involved society. How low-tech bullying, Coloroso calls it, and cyber bullying is combined to often have a quicker reaction and breakdown of a victims self worth. I found this to be a really good read with some excellent examples and values that people should address.