The Bum Magnet

The Bum Magnet

4.5 12
by K. L. Brady

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Charisse Tyson’s got it all going on . . .

She’s a savvy, successful real-estate agent with a quick wit, a low tolerance for BS, a gorgeous size-14 body, and a thirst for top shelf vodka. Despite her dream house, luxury car, and appetite for life’s best—like fine dining and hot men—she seems to have her own special talent for

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Charisse Tyson’s got it all going on . . .

She’s a savvy, successful real-estate agent with a quick wit, a low tolerance for BS, a gorgeous size-14 body, and a thirst for top shelf vodka. Despite her dream house, luxury car, and appetite for life’s best—like fine dining and hot men—she seems to have her own special talent for attracting players. Why do all of her ex-lovers belong in the Losers Hall of Fame?

There was Lamar, the hazel-eyed Adonis who sowed more wild oats than Quaker. . . Sean, an expert at juggling relationships . . . Marcus, whose lips wandered as often as his eyes . . . and others, too. But just as Rissey swears off sex and vows to dump her emotional baggage, she meets house-hunting client Dwayne Gibson. There’s no way she can resist his seductive smile and rock-hard body. . . . Will Dwayne turn out to be the biggest bum of them all? Or will this time be different?

Product Details

Pocket Star
Publication date:
Product dimensions:
6.56(w) x 4.22(h) x 0.98(d)

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Read an Excerpt

1 Self-therapy for Dummies

Her words played in my head like a scratched LP. “Charisse, a good man is like Santa Claus. Believing in him feels real good until you find out he doesn’t really exist.” Although I ignored most of my mother’s attempts at wisdom, this little gem stuck with me... like gum on my shoe. No wonder I was nearing the big four-oh and home alone on yet another New Year’s Eve. No bubbly to pop, no confetti to throw, no love to kiss at midnight’s stroke; only me, my remote control, and six goldfish—one in need of a trip to the porcelain god.

Why was I home alone on New Year’s Eve again? Because of Marcus damn Matthews—“the one.” You know “the one,” right? The one who cheated. The one who lied. The one who broke my damn heart. The one who kept calling my house begging me to take his conniving ass back. That “one.” I had finally settled in for the night and tried to forget that I’d flushed three years of my life down the toilet of wasted time and squandered heart when my doorbell rang.

He’s baaaaack!

“What do you want, Marcus?” I asked, exasperated by his unwillingness to accept that our relationship was over.

“I want you. I need you, Charisse,” he pleaded, his eyes resembling those of a hungry puppy dog begging for his next Scooby snack. I guess he didn’t see the sign on my forehead: “No Dawgs Allowed!”

“No, what you need to do is go find that bitch I caught you with and ring her damn doorbell. Love don’t live here anymore.”

He let out a sigh of annoyance and aggravation, as if I was the one ringing his doorbell unannounced and uninvited. “Why are you doing this, baby? You know how sorry I am.”

“Yes, Marcus, I know how sorry you are... and that’s precisely why I’m doing this. Now, you can leave voluntarily, or I can call five-oh. In my neighborhood, you know they’ll be here before you can back out of the driveway.”

“All right, Charisse. I’ll leave for now. But this isn’t settled, not by a long shot,” he declared as I slammed the door in his face.

Damn! How could I let this happen again? I am suffering from a chronic case of Wrong Men-itis and it has to stop! I thought. Shaking my head in confusion, I walked back to the family room, which hadn’t been cleaned since the onset of my depression.

Now, how am I going to entertain myself until I pass out in a drunken stupor?

I turned on the stereo, determined to avoid any sappy love songs to send me deeper into my emotional upheaval, so R&B out, Pop out, Country way out.

Nowadays you couldn’t even trust Rock. Finally, the Disco station, XM-83. What a relief. “Night Fever” by the Bee Gees played, a perfectly non-suicide-inducing song.

Thought a gripping magazine article might help take my mind off my troubles, so I grabbed a few from the coffee table. My preferred subscription was Z: The Zaina Magazine, published by talk-show hostess Zaina Humphrey. Between hosting mind-numbing “hope you didn’t come for the cookies” open houses; helping delusional “my home will sell for ten thousand above market price, even with the lime-green carpet and Barney-inspired purple paint” sellers; and showing homes to unrealistic “will the seller spring for a Sub-Zero in this trailer?” home buyers, my days were consumed. I kept her show on TiVo for occasions when I needed my fix, though.

Forty locked its jaws on me like a pit bull, so my interests broadened far beyond the “Six Ways to Have an Orgasm While Balancing Your Checkbook” articles. I craved pithy, spirit-lifting, soul-feeding, personal-growth-inducing, psychotherapeutic edutainment in less than sixty minutes or for less than five bucks an issue. Zaina delivered. She taught me how to improve my relationship with myself and the people forced to tolerate me.

After perusing a couple of editions and glancing at a few nuggets here and there, I decided I would return my attention to the disappointing plasma if I didn’t stop to read anything in detail. Near the last pages, I glimpsed an article that piqued my interest: “Stop Attracting Toxic Men: Five Steps to Unpacking Your Emotional Baggage.” I studied it with a level of focus I hadn’t been able to muster in weeks.

Common Signs of Emotional Baggage

Do you find it difficult to share your feelings with your boyfriend even when he invites you to confide in him?

No. No difficulty. It’s none of their business.

Do you test his loyalty and find excuses to remain distant or break up with him?

Eeeeh, that’s a bad thing?

Do you stereotype men and assume if one cheats and lies they all do?

Hmph, well if the shoe fits...

Do you avoid taking blame for your mistakes?

So not true. I only blamed them because it was entirely their fault.

Do you have a lingering ghost from your past history that you’ve tried to forget but never put to rest?

Hmmm, maybe I’d better keep reading.

If any of the behaviors above sound familiar, you’ve got emotional baggage. Follow these steps to unpack your baggage for good.

• • •

Entertaining the prospect of dumping my bags and losing my bum magnetism filled me with excitement. But my stomach sank in fear of what might need to come out of the closet in the process. That’s a bridge I’m not quite prepared to cross.

© 2011 K. L. Brady

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Bum Magnet 4.4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 13 reviews.
aambcreviews More than 1 year ago
A hilarious tells it like it is story that is sure to have you flipping the pages like you need another does of the good stuff. This novel by KL Brady screams perfection. Nothing was missed in this book as you follow the life of Charisse who some how seems to attract the wrong kind of man hence the name BUM. When a new year hits she wants to make a change. She wants to start over and perhaps find that true someone. This task wasn't easy and as she tended to still make the same mistakes over and over she still tried to have hope. Brady told this story in a hilarious senses of humor but with a tell like it is mentality. I couldn't see this book told any other way and to give me a laugh, suspense, and hope all in one means you kept my attention. The book had all its t's cross and I's dotted and with a completed story without you wondering what's gonna happen next. I give Ms. Brady top shelf. This is defiantly a 2010 top recommended reads. Tamika newhouse AAMBC Reviewer
LisafromMD More than 1 year ago
I felt that I knew Charisse personally. I laughed out loud and found myself more than once talking aloud as if she were actually in the room with me. The author kept me interested and thoroughly entertained throughout the entire movel. Is there a sequel on the horizon? I truly recommend this romantic comedy.
OOSABookClub More than 1 year ago
A beautiful, driven and successful real estate agent, Charisse Tyson seems to have it all, including a predilection for attracting losers, liars and bums. After spending another New Year's Eve alone, she decides to put her foot down and `just say no to bums' with the help of a magazine article, "Stop Attracting Toxic Men: Five Steps to Unpacking Your Emotional Baggage." To know where you're going, you have to know where you've been. As part of her bum detox, she revisits her past relationships through journals she's kept over the years. While watching her bum highlight reel in slow motion, a few new contenders have stepped up to the plate and now her cup runneth over. When you don't look is when you seem to find and the men that have found Charisse include: a new chocolate Adonis who may be too good to be true; a handsome stranger with stalker-like tendencies; a ghost from bum's past; and a recovering bum. Will Charisse learn from her past relationship mistakes, or is she doomed to forever be a BUM MAGNET? I absolutely enjoyed "The Bum Magnet." K.L. Brady's journey of one woman's dating woes and self discovery was entertaining and real. With a nice balance of drama and laughs, "The Bum Magnet" is both funny and uplifting. Charisse's sarcasm is a perfect smoke screen for her inner struggles and insecurities. "The Bum Magnet" works on many levels, friendships, the power of forgiveness, getting rid of emotional baggage, emotional growth, closure, the strength of family and love. The only weakness, for me, was the cover. Of course you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but an appealing cover goes a long way. And in this case, it was almost a deciding factor in not reading this book. The synopsis and title tipped the scales. "The Bum Magnet" is recommended reading. K.L. Brady, I like your style. I look forward to your next release. Reviewed by: Toni
ApexReviews More than 1 year ago
Accomplished, motivated, and successful, Charisse has it all - that is, except a fulfilling relationship. Even worse, despite her best efforts, she keeps falling for the same type of man over and over again: the lying, cheating player. To her credit, because of the polished allure of her suitors, Charisse doesn't often realize she's about to be played - but it doesn't stop her from hurting all the same once their true colors show in the end. Finally forced to confront the self-repeating cycle of disappointment to which she's grown accustomed, Charisse takes a deep, introspective look into the underlying reasons behind her faulty decision-making when it comes to choosing a mate. In her ensuing state of enlightenment, she vows to do a better job of staying away from obvious losers of all shapes and sizes - but when was the last time everything went exactly according to plan for anyone? What follows is a hilarious, eye-opening series of adventures and misadventures in love as Charisse strives to discover what it takes to finally find the real thing. Creatively well-crafted, The Bum Magnet is a highly enjoyable, entertaining read. In a signature style equally hilarious and insightful, author K.L. Brady takes readers on a vicarious journey through the depths of the mind and heart, reflecting the very real emotional trials and tribulations with which we are all more than familiar. In so doing, she paints a vivid, heartfelt - and rather amusing - picture of the ups and downs of everyday romantic pursuits. Furthermore, Brady's engaging tale does a commendable job of portraying such pursuits in a highly realistic light. Rather than paint her potential suitors - or even Charisse herself - as flawed demons and flawless innocents, The Bum Magnet depicts them as flesh-and-blood, genuine human figures drawn straight from the canvas of real life. For all their various drawbacks, they make no more or fewer mistakes than we all do in our various everyday pursuits. Witty, pointed, and real, The Bum Magnet sucks you in from the beginning and keeps you rapt until the very end. A highly recommended read. Linda Waterson Apex Reviews
ReviewsByMolly More than 1 year ago
I know EXACTLY how Charisse feels. Yep. I'm a bum magnet myself. I've ALWAYS attracted the WRONG kind of guys. Could be why I'm divorced and a single mom of 2 boys. But, I wouldn't trade my bum magnet problem for the world, because I wouldn't have my amazing boys if I didn't. So, when I read the synopsis of K.L. Brady's book, I jumped on it. It would be a book that I could totally connect with. I wasn't wrong! I loved every single word and laughter of this story. K.L. Brady knocked a home run with this novel. Charisse was a woman I wish I could have been. She braved the front of evaluating her past relationships, trying to see where it was that each one went wrong. Looking back on each of these relationships, man, I was laughing til I thought I'd die. The words that K.L. Brady used to bring the scenes to life for the reader, wow! TOTALLY awesome. Really gripping and fun. A wonderful story of self evaluation, and coming to terms with being a bum magnet. That's a plot line that I don't think has been covered before. Sure, there are lots of books about meeting and falling for the wrong one, but the way K. L. Brady embraced this plot was awesometastic! It was definitely a fast paced enjoyable read. I highly recommend this story to all the single women out there. If you're wondering where the heck you're going wrong with attracting the "right" guy, well, let K.L. Brady and Charisse walk you through the process of why the bums are attracted. I know I won't look at being single and the wrong guys the same away again! This is definitely a 5 Book worthy rating in my opinion. Be prepared for a bit of whirl wind romance, lots of laughs and some "go girl"'s thrown in. I am looking forward to reading another one of this fantastic author's pieces of work.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I could really relate to the main character. We really do need to get rid of old baggage to move on.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book was laugh out-loud hilarious!! A must read!!
VictheReader More than 1 year ago
The Bum Magnet was a total impulse purchase (as are most my chick lit or romance novels), and I enjoyed reading it. The protagonist is Charisse, a successful and sexy real estate woman in the prime of her life living it up in Maryland near DC. She is divorced and recently single from her boyfriend of 2 or so years, living in the dream house she bought for the life she doesn't have yet. Now that she is nearing her 40's, it may sometimes seem like it is never going to happen for her, but she does her best to "keep hope alive". The book opens on New Years Eve, less than a month after she broke up with her boyfriend of three years Marcus, and in a doldrums of grey goose and Godiva she reads a magazine article trumpeted out annually in women's magazines about "breaking the single cycle" by analyzing past relationship failures and letting go in order to move on. The book proceeds in the present with relationship flashbacks of the men fortunate enough to have been a part of her life. The present storyline involves Charisse and a new possible love interest whom she accidentally sleeps with when arriving at his house to pick him up to look at houses. I hate when that happens. Meanwhile, her ex Marcus is halfheartedly attempting to win her back in half-assed man fashion, which is more annoying than romanctic. With the help of her BFF Nissey, another real estate agent who ends up getting her bills paid more by her rotating cadre of men than by house sales, Charisse navigates her current beaus intentions while she tries to decide what she wants. When a random flame from the past shows up at a bar one night, she decides to take the whole relationship analyzing thing seriously, and the flashbacks of her relationships begin in earnest. The flashbacks, to me, are the funniest parts, for they get to show more sides of Charisse and how she was before present day. In particular, I love her ex with a gaggle of kids (eight, EIGHT kids people!), and the various ways that Charisse and Nissey connive to catch their men doing the dirty behind their back. I also liked Kevin, a hot FBI agent with an unfortunate girlfriend blessed with a serious case of bitter beer face, but Charisse doesn't understand why he always seems to be following her around. And she isn't sure, but Charisse's new boyfriend may or may not have drugged her and messed around in her business while she was passed out. The flashbacks eventually catch the reader up to present day, and in the end Charisse gets what she wants for the most part. I enjoyed the banter between Charisse and Nissey the most, and the flashbacks afforded the author many opportunities to mine for comedy. In terms of what I thought didn't work, I sometimes found the flashbacks a little jarring from time to time in terms of switching between past and present, but overall I thought Brady did a pretty job of keeping it all straight. I also found the big reveal of who Kevin really was a little too coincidental, but he sounded hot from the get go, so I guess it didn't really bother me that much :p. Overall, it was an enjoyable read for not me being a thirty flirty and thriving African American female, and for that I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars. For more reviews feel free to visit my blog at
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
All the drama that poor Charise went through just left me shaking my head. But, the message that stood out to me the most in this story was God works in mysterious ways. Throughout the pain she suffered with all those men, she found her "knight in shining armor" in the end.