But How'd I Get in There in the First Place?: Talking to Your Young Child about Sex

But How'd I Get in There in the First Place?: Talking to Your Young Child about Sex

by Deborah Roffman
     
 

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Young children ask questions about sex, sexuality, conception, and birth that can be embarrassing or uncomfortable for parents. With her characteristic good sense and cool head, author Deborah Roffman will put even the most awkward parents at ease, giving them the skills to talk confidently with young children about these important but delicate issues. In this

Overview

Young children ask questions about sex, sexuality, conception, and birth that can be embarrassing or uncomfortable for parents. With her characteristic good sense and cool head, author Deborah Roffman will put even the most awkward parents at ease, giving them the skills to talk confidently with young children about these important but delicate issues. In this wonderfully reassuring book, readers will learn that the key to talking with children about sex is knowing that their questions fall into three easily recognizable categories. At age three or four, kids are curious about geography ("Where was I before I was here?"), and at four or five, about delivery ("Exactly how did I get out of there?"). Finally, the six year old's classic stumper—"But how'd I get in there in the first place?"—is about cause and effect, not about imminent sexual activity! With the emotional and developmental underpinnings of a child's curiosity understood, parents will find their tongues; with Deborah Roffman's wise, warm and practical advice, they will be well prepared for the inevitable flow of questions in the years to come.

Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
The "Go Parents!" series (e.g., Teaching Your Children Good Manners) is designed to infuse the task of carrying out parental responsibilities with humor and enjoyment. The latest entry tackles sexuality issues. Berkenkamp, a mother of four, and Atkins, a child psychologist, offer basic advice and information on what to expect for each age group, toddler to age 12, with a short sample question-and-answer section at the end. In a useful twist, they recommend asking children what they think is the answer to a question before beginning an explanation. Each chapter contains a games-and-activities section, a nice feature. This book is accessible, easy to read, and free of intellectual leanings. Recommended for public libraries with the caveat that it does not address teenagers. Roffman is a certified sexuality educator and author of Sex and Sensibility: The Thinking Parent's Guide to Talking Sense About Sex. Like her first book, this one takes a highly intellectual approach while conveying information through an excellent "five universal needs" structure (i.e., affirmation, information giving, values clarification, limit setting, and anticipatory guidance). But there are few sample dialogs, questions raised in one section may be answered unexpectedly much later or sometimes not at all, and the author assumes upper- to middle-class intellectual/cultural background and knowledge. An optional purchase; better buys are Sol and Judith Gordon's Raising a Child Responsibly in a Sexually Permissive World, which also addresses disabled youth, and Mary Calderone and James Ramey's Talking with Your Child About Sex, still valuable for its copious sample questions and answers. Martha Cornog, Philadelphia Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780738205724
Publisher:
Da Capo Press
Publication date:
04/28/2002
Edition description:
New Edition
Pages:
176
Product dimensions:
5.49(w) x 8.56(h) x 0.45(d)

Meet the Author

Deborah M. Roffman, M.S., a nationally certified Sexuality and Family Life Educator, is an associate editor of the Journal of Sex Education and Therapy and the author of Sex and Sensibility. She has been featured in the New York Times, the Washington Post, Time magazine, the Chicago Tribune, and USA Today. She lives in Baltimore, Maryland.

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