But I Didn't Mean That!: How to Avoid Misunderstandings and Hurt Feelings in Everyday Life

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Overview

If you don't do it yourself, you certainly know someone who is forever putting a foot into his or her mouth. This person has raised the tasteless, thoughtless, tactless, or otherwise terrifically awful remark into an art form. If there is a wrong place, a wrong time, or a wrong person to whom to say anything, they're on the spot and on the ready. And though we can joke about it (at the right time, of course), careless speech is no laughing matter. Words really can hurt-not only the person at whom they're aimed ...

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But I Didn't Mean That!: How to Avoid Misunderstandings and Hurt Feelings in Everyday Life

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Overview

If you don't do it yourself, you certainly know someone who is forever putting a foot into his or her mouth. This person has raised the tasteless, thoughtless, tactless, or otherwise terrifically awful remark into an art form. If there is a wrong place, a wrong time, or a wrong person to whom to say anything, they're on the spot and on the ready. And though we can joke about it (at the right time, of course), careless speech is no laughing matter. Words really can hurt-not only the person at whom they're aimed but the speaker, too, whose relationship, career, and social prospects can all suffer as a result of unmindful speech.

Fortunately, this book can help even the most scandalous mis-speaker. It outlines six simple questions, called Q-Points (Questions of Positive Thinking and Speaking) for readers to keep in mind before they speak. Who am I speaking to? What am I not seeing? Where will my words get me? How will the other person react to my words? When do I say it? And why must I say it at all? By coming up with an answer in the moment before speaking, anyone can start to avoid terrible slips in speaking judgment that can hurt themselves and others. But I Didn't Mean That! analyzes the most problematic speaking situations to show how the Q-points can be used to start conversing with empathy, confidence, and unimpeachable tact.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
But I Didn't Mean That! is the very best guide to avoid 'oops!' and 'boo-boos,' viz: those mistakes we tend to make in speaking before we know all of the facts, before we thing through the consequences of what we are saying. A terrific book filled with practical suggestions to keep us from putting our feet in our mouths and 'goofing-up.' A wonderful communication book from wonderful authors.
-Freddie Gershon, lecturer on intellectual property rights, motivational speaker in the field of children and the arts, and chairman and owner of the largest dramatic rights licensing agency in the world
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781572244887
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
  • Publication date: 6/28/2007
  • Series: Unassigned Series
  • Pages: 168
  • Product dimensions: 4.90 (w) x 6.90 (h) x 0.50 (d)

Meet the Author

Richard Heyman, Ed.D, is a specialist in the use of language in everyday life. He is professor of communication and education at the University of Calgary and president of Richard Heyman Associates, a business communications consulting company. He was the founder and director (until 1988) of the Discourse Analysis Research Group, a think tank devoted to researching language and communication, and he has published more than thirty book chapters and articles on his research. He has more than thirty-five years of experience in communications consulting and has presented his work to professionals, academics, and laypeople.

A freelance writer and writing teacher, June Paris has devoted years of study and training of ethical speech and positive communication.

Rachel Small is a former special education teacher. She is currently the vice president of a flourishing family business.

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Table of Contents


Acknowledgments     v
Introduction: The Power of Positive Communication     1
Making Thoughtful Communication Work for You     7
Ethical Speech Eliminates the Pain
Bringing Ethical Speech to Everyone
Thoughtful Communication Works
How to Get the Most out of This Book
Taking Control of Your Words     15
The Six Questions of Positive Thinking and Speaking
Make These Valuable Tools Yours
When Emotions Run High     33
Blame
Mistakes
Undermining
Disappointment
When Telling It Like It Is     53
In All Honesty
Chatting
Curiosity
Breaches of Confidence
When You Are Your Worst Enemy     73
Judging
Badgering
Seeking Attention
Venting
Making Your Words Count     93
Giving Advice
Taking Sides
Accepting Gifts
Not Standing on Principle
When Dealing with Difficult People     113
Those Who Are Rude
Those Who Are Grumps
Those Who Criticize
Those Who Brag
When an Extra Dose of Sensitivity Helps     133
Compliments
Encouragement
Empathy
Consolation
Conclusion: All You Have to Do Is Try     153
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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 30, 2014

    *SparkFire's Destiny* Chapter 4

    SparkPaw lay in her nest, watching the other apprentices. SlickPaw and PinePaw were sound asleep. So was little GrassPaw. He was older than SparkPaw, but much smaller. He was nice. PinePaw- not nice at all. SlickPaw turned out to be grumpy, unfriendly, and big. He was the oldest apprentice and was going to become a warrior soon. But there was somebody missing.... SparkPaw could tell. Suddenly, the ferns rustled. A cat was coming. Then LeafPaw stepped through. That was the other apprentice! LeafPaw seemed nice, and she was probably going to be her company in the crowded den. "Hi," LeafPaw whispered. "Hi," SparkPaw whispered back. Then LeafPaw motioned for SparkPaw to follow her. "Our mentors are ready, and the other apprentice's mentors are waiting. Let's let SlickPaw, PinePaw and GrassPaw sleep in! It's payback." LeafPaw exclaimed quietly. SkyPrism and LeapFall were waiting, just like LeafPaw said. SparkPaw gave LeafPaw a small wink. She then bounded to SkyPrism. "Can we start training today? I wanna hunt. I bet I can catch a big juicy salmon!" SkyPrism laughed. "Okay, okay. Let's start over by the river." SparkPaw padded with her, looking back at LeafPaw. "Hey, SkyPrism, LeafPaw wants to hunt too, so maybe we could take these excited apprentices to the lake together?" LeapFall asked. SkyPrism nodded. "That's a good idea." The four she cats padded alongside. When they got to the lake- or what used to be a lake- was covered in Twolegs!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 31, 2007

    Easy read

    Very entertaining for a self-help book. The stories really bring the points across. I hope to try the program. I really think it could work.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 30, 2007

    very helpful!

    thank you to the authors of this book i really believe it will help me alot in dealing with people i already see how much more i think subconciously before i speak dena gold

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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