Want a NOOK? Explore Now
A. Barry Rand CEO, AARP
Acknowledgments x
Introduction: What's Happening to My Life? 1
My Story 5
What You Can Expect from This Book 6
1 Examining Our Issues 8
Prompts to Start Planning 11
Responses from the Group 13
2 Organizing Answers and Choosing Discussion Topics 30
Category A Things I Want to Say but Don't Expect a Response To 32
Category B Things I Want to Say but Won't, Because It Won't Make a Difference 33
Category C Things I Want to Say but Should Only Share with a Friend 35
Category D Things I Really Need to Talk About, Know About, Have Resolved, or Make a Decision About 37
3 Communication Tools 101 (or Shall I Say, 9-1-1) 41
Keep Your Viewpoint While Your Husband and Others Keep Theirs, Yet Still Get What You Want 42
Change a Person's Behavior, Whether or Not They Change Their Opinion 43
Changing Your Behavior May Make It Unnecessary for Other People to Change Theirs 44
Encouraging Your Husband to Say More 45
Pitfalls to Avoid 46
Speaking His Language 47
Summary of Communication Tools 47
4 Talk Your Way to Understandings 49
What If He Refuses to Meet? 52
What If I Refuse to Meet? 53
The Setting for Your Discussion 54
Preparing for the Discussion 55
The Discussion 57
Closing the Discussion and Creating Understandings 58
Sample Understandings 60
5 Comprehending Our Emotions-Life in the Guilt Factory 69
The Big C 72
Emotional Fine-Line Issues 76
The Stress of Living Grief 87
Sometimes Our Emotions Surprise Us 88
I'm So Tired of Being the "Man"! 89
Emotions and Words 89
My Way Versus His Way 90
Ultimately It Is His Disease 93
6 Practical Issues 96
Practical Fine-Line Issues 97
7 Social and Familial issues 128
Whose Business Is It, Anyway? 129
Everyone Has an Opinion 132
The Hottest Button 133
When Someone Asks 135
Public Face with Private Pain 137
Visitors and Privacy 141
Ceremonies and Services 146
8 Self-Care 151
Manufacture Time 156
Stop Energy Drains 157
The Delicate Topics-Love, Sex, Intimacy, and Affairs 157
Staying Awake When Trauma Becomes Normal 160
"Sometimes a Cigar Is Just a Cigar" 161
Health Lessons I Learned from My Husband 161
9 50 Do's and Don'ts 163
10 Decisions, Transitions, and Discoveries 169
Resources 175
Index 189
Anonymous
Posted February 8, 2013
This book was so basic; a waste for anyone who has had any experience in communicating with people. The sample dialogues given were condescending. This material was in all the "self-help" books that came out in the 80's and 90's.
There was also nothing in there that applied to a caregiver who is dealing with Alzheimer's.
OK if you have read nothing else about how to communicate with people in general.
Anonymous
Posted June 18, 2012
This book should be in eBook version. Then a caregiver will always have it with her! This book is excellent because because the author gets into the nitty gritty of how to speak and exchange views with the care receiver. I found the conversational dialogues very useful. Also the reasons behind the conversational suggestions. The author is a trained professional and she also had the experience of caregiving herself. This book is well worth reading if you are the primary caregiver.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.KRNY
Posted May 10, 2012
This book is a Godsend. It is absolutely the best book of it's kind that i've found, and i've read quite a few. It felt like someone looked into my soul and wrote down what i was thinking and feeling.
Thank you to Diana Denholm for the thousands of people she must have helped by writing this insightful and thoughtful book.
Karen Richardson
Overview
“Our AARP members tell us that one of the most difficult challenges they face is caring for a spouse or loved one who has become disabled or terminally ill. In The Caregiving Wife’s Handbook, Dr. Denholm provides the tools and practical advice caregivers need to navigate these rough waters and to emerge at peace with themselves and their loved ones.”
A. Barry Rand CEO, AARP