author of : A History of a Pedophile's Wife Eleanor Cowan
This important primer explains that in our society, we are trained to be kind, compassionate and understanding - and thus we are culturally primed to make room for the character dis-ordered who very much appreciate the favor. It certainly makes their thievery less complicated.
Easy to read, this book will help you to identify users without blaming yourself for being 'unkind' (before you are robbed blind by those who have an aversion to going to work.)
"This is a must-read for anyone going through any part of life with a person who is character disturbed. Understanding how your own behavior and weaknesses contribute to the situation is of paramount importance, and this book will help people understand how to change those behaviors. Getting inside a character-disturbed person's head is a little scary, but this, too is extremely important in order to effectively respond to them. The author knows his topic thoroughly."
Simon (In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People) challenges traditional psychological notions by asserting that character deficiencies underlie common emotional and behavioral problems prevalent today. He suggests that established therapies may no longer be relevant and that alternative treatments based on cognitive-behavioral principles are needed. Simon compares character disorders with neurotic disturbances on various dimensions. The destructive thought patterns of his subjects are described, and common tactics they use to manipulate and avoid blame are reviewed. This paradigm is then applied to a variety of pathological figures from bullies, abusers, and molesters to the most vicious psychopaths and notorious white-collar thieves of our time. The book includes treatment vignettes employing cognitive behavioral therapy techniques and concludes with a discussion of cures for what Simon argues is a social epidemic. VERDICT This provocative book provides down-to-earth advice for therapists and victims of character-disordered persons. However, statistical support for the idea that such disorders have increased to epidemic levels and a discussion of the role of drug therapy for this group would have been useful. Part treatment guide and social commentary and part marketing tool for the author's workshops, this book is recommended for readers interested in psychology and criminology.—Antoinette Brinkman, M.L.S., Evansville, IN
Read an Excerpt
“Aggressive characters don’t just disregard the truth, they’re at war with it. Truth is the great equalizer, and aggressive personalities always want to maintain a position of advantage. So, they deliberately play very fast and loose with the truth when they’re not flat out lying. They don’t want you to “have their number.” That upsets the balance of power. So, they’re usually about the business of conning and duping you. And because they want to have advantage over you, they often lie in subtle and sophisticated ways, carefully managing your impression of them and manipulating you through deception. Their lying is so pervasive and automatic, they will lie even when the truth would do just fine; except lying keeps the con game going, which they perceive as maintaining the position of advantage. Also, the lying takes so many forms it’s almost impossible to count them all.”