Child Custody: Building Parenting Agreements That Work

Overview

Working out a fair and realistic custody agreement is one of the most difficult tasks for parents going through a divorce or separation. Child Custody is the only book to show separating or divorcing parents how to overcome obstacles and build their own win-win custody agreements.
Drawing on her experience as a professional mediator, author Mimi Lyster sets out 40 issues separating parents typically face and ...
See more details below
Available through our Marketplace sellers.
Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (12) from $1.99   
  • New (1) from $40.09   
  • Used (11) from $1.99   
Close
Sort by
Page 1 of 1
Showing All
Note: Marketplace items are not eligible for any BN.com coupons and promotions
$40.09
Seller since 2005

Feedback rating:

(245)

Condition:

New — never opened or used in original packaging.

Like New — packaging may have been opened. A "Like New" item is suitable to give as a gift.

Very Good — may have minor signs of wear on packaging but item works perfectly and has no damage.

Good — item is in good condition but packaging may have signs of shelf wear/aging or torn packaging. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Acceptable — item is in working order but may show signs of wear such as scratches or torn packaging. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Used — An item that has been opened and may show signs of wear. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Refurbished — A used item that has been renewed or updated and verified to be in proper working condition. Not necessarily completed by the original manufacturer.

New
2003-11-01 Paperback 4th New Brand new never read softback book, very clean.

Ships from: Greensburg, PA

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Canadian
  • International
  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
  • Express, 48 States
  • Express (AK, HI)
Page 1 of 1
Showing All
Close
Sort by
Sending request ...

Overview

Working out a fair and realistic custody agreement is one of the most difficult tasks for parents going through a divorce or separation. Child Custody is the only book to show separating or divorcing parents how to overcome obstacles and build their own win-win custody agreements.
Drawing on her experience as a professional mediator, author Mimi Lyster sets out 40 issues separating parents typically face and presents a range of available options to resolve them.
She walks you through all the factors you must consider, including:
* medical care
* education
* religious training
* living arrangements
* holidays
* money issues
* dealing with changes in an existing agreement
Lyster then shows you how to make decisions everyone—especially the children—can live with.
Child Custody includes checklists and worksheets to make it easy to put together a comprehensive agreement. It also covers custody law in all 50 states and includes fill-in-the-blank custody agreement.
Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

American Baby
...takes you through the nitty-gritty of arranging custody...
American Baby
...takes you through the nitty-gritty of arranging custody...
Dallas Morning News
Ms. Lyster... has isolated 40 common issues and battlefield-tested suggestions for resolving them.
Dallas Morning News
Ms. Lyster... has isolated 40 common issues and battlefield-tested suggestions for resolving them.
New York Daily News
...clear, practical advice on identifying everyone's concerns, and strategies for effective negotiations.
New York Daily News
...clear, practical advice on identifying everyone's concerns, and strategies for effective negotiations.
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780873379205
  • Publisher: NOLO
  • Publication date: 11/28/2003
  • Edition description: 4th Edition
  • Edition number: 4
  • Pages: 264
  • Product dimensions: 8.20 (w) x 10.88 (h) x 0.55 (d)

Read an Excerpt

Introduction

Before getting started on your parenting plan, you should understand the context in which your parenting decisions will be made.

You Are Not Alone

For the last quarter of a century, the expectation that two people would meet, marry, raise a family and grow old together has changed. Studies over the past 10 years have confirmed that couples who divorce will be most likely to do so after about seven years of marriage, and that two-thirds of these divorcing families will include at least one child under the age of six. Statistics also show that more than a million children each year for the past 25 years have lived through a divorce.

Other researchers have commented on the changing structure of the family. During the last 35 years, the divorce rate has quadrupled and births outside of marriage have increased by 22%. Many families relocate every few years, which deprives these families of the benefits of living close to extended family. Researchers predict that nearly half of all babies born today will spend some time living in a one-parent family. A family in which biological parents stay together and raise their children is now only true for about one-third of all couples. The new reality is that most parents will never marry, will marry and later divorce or will create their families through artificial insemination or adoption.

Keep Your Parenting Plan Focused on Your Children

You and your children's other parent are about to undertake a difficult but very important project: making decisions about your parenting arrangements that will be the best possible ones for your children. Of course, it may be hard to separate the desire to have nothing more to do with your ex from the task at hand. After all, separation and divorce exist to solve adult problems, not meet children's needs.

Even if your separation or divorce will be better for your children in the long run, for the short term, most children feel that things are worse. Divorce or separation can shake a child's confidence that he or she will continue to be loved, cared for and safe. This is true even when children understand the reasons behind the decision.

You and the other parent can help your children by using this book to develop an agreement that focuses on meeting your children's individual needs. The more attention you pay to those needs, the more likely you are to build an agreement that works for all of you.

You and the other parent must honestly assess your relationship as parents and your ability to work together. To keep your agreement focused on your children, you must be willing to trust each other and set aside your anger, frustration and pain, at least for a while. If you've just separated, you may think it will be impossible to trust and cooperate with the other parent. Most find, though, that trustful and cooperative relationships usually evolve over time. (See Section C, below.) One of the most effective strategies for moving toward this kind of relationship is to build on points of agreement until you have crafted a comprehensive parenting plan.

Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

Introduction
A. Make Your Own Custody Decisions If Possible 2
B. Parenting Issues and Financial Issues 2
C. Why This Book Is Unique 3
D. A Word to Skeptics 4
E. So, You Just Want to Fight! 4
F. Icons Used in This Book 6
1 Taking Stock of Your Situation
A. You Are Not Alone 2
B. Keep Your Parenting Plan Focused on Your Children 2
C. Know That It Gets Easier Over Time 3
D. Learn How to Negotiate 4
E. If the Other Parent Is Absent 5
F. If There Is Violence or Abuse in the Family 5
2 An Introduction to Parenting Agreements
A. What Parenting Agreements Cover 2
B. Advantages of Parent-Negotiated Agreements 2
C. Goals of a Successful Parenting Agreement 3
D. Parenting Agreements and Custody 4
3 Preparing to Build Your Parenting Agreement
A. Organize and Review All Pertinent Documents 2
B. Take Stock of Your Relationship With Your Children 2
4 How to Negotiate a Parenting Agreement
A. Knowing What You Need and Want 3
B. Understanding What Gets in the Way 5
C. Using Effective Negotiation and Problem Solving Strategies 9
D. Breaking Through Impasses 13
E. Knowing Where to Get Help and Support 17
5 Building Your Parenting Agreement
A. What Works in Building a Parenting Agreement 3
B. Complete the Parenting Agreement 4
6 Parenting Agreements and Money
A. Understanding Child Support 2
B. Understanding Alimony or Spousal Support 4
C. Negotiating Child and Spousal Support 6
D. Dividing Jointly Owned Property 7
7 Making Mediation and Arbitration Work for You
A. How Mediation Works 2
B. Why Mediation Works 2
C. Proposing Mediation 3
D. Understanding Basic Mediation Techniques 4
E. Why Mediation Works in Very Difficult Cases 7
F. What Mediators Don't Do 9
G. Choosing Between Court-Ordered and Private Mediation 9
H. When the Mediator Makes a Recommendation to the Court 10
I. Custody Evaluations 11
J. Selecting a Mediator 11
K. Preparing for Mediation 12
L. If You Can't Reach an Agreement 13
M. Alternatives to Mediation 13
8 Dealing With Changes in Your Existing Agreements
A. Why Changes Are Necessary--And What You Can Do About Them 2
B. When You Are the One Initiating Change 3
C. When You Are the One Responding to a Request for Change 4
D. When Tensions Are Running High 5
E. What to Do After You Negotiate the Changes 5
9 Understanding Your Children's Needs
A. Strategies for Your Children At Any Age 2
B. Strategies for Your Children at Different Ages and Developmental Stages 5
C. Strategies for Children With Special Needs 8
10 Multiracial, Multicultural and International Families
A. Accommodating Differences in Child-Rearing Practices 2
B. Encouraging Children to Celebrate the Traditions of Both Parents 2
C. Sorting Out the Role of Power Within the Family 3
D. Working Within the American Legal System 3
E. Deciding If Another Country Has Authority Over Parenting (Custody) Issues 4
11 Nontraditional Families
A. What Are Nontraditional Families? 2
B. The Legal Relationship of a Nontraditional Parent and His or Her Children 2
C. Recognizing the Nontraditional Parent's Role 6
D. Resolving Conflict in a Way That Meets Your Family's Needs 6
E. Creating New Relationships After the Divorce or Separation 7
12 State and Federal Laws Affecting Child Custody
A. Custody and Visitation 2
B. Best Interests of the Child 3
C. Mediation 7
D. Interference With Custody 9
E. Interstate Custody Disputes 10
F. International Custody Disputes 11
G. Custody and the IRS 12
13 Help Beyond the Book
A. Researching Legal Issues 2
B. Researching Nonlegal Issues 4
C. Research on the World Wide Web 4
D. Finding Professionals Who Can Help 5
E. Additional Resources 9
F. Bibliography 11
Appendix Tear-Out Forms
Worksheet 1 Describe Your Child
Worksheet 2 Describe Your Relationship With Your Child
Worksheet 3 Adding the Details
Worksheet 4 Checklist of Issues for Your Parenting Agreement
Parenting Agreement
Index
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

    If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
    Why is this product inappropriate?
    Comments (optional)