Children of the Self-Absorbed

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They've been called "parentified children." What these millions of adults have in common is that they grew up with immature, self-absorbed parents—parents who made their own children responsible for their physical and emotional well-being, who expected admiration and constant attention, and who reacted with demeaning criticism and blame when anything went wrong or their slightest need went unattended.

Psychologist and author Nina Brown has labelled the underlying process at work...

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Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents

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Overview

They've been called "parentified children." What these millions of adults have in common is that they grew up with immature, self-absorbed parents—parents who made their own children responsible for their physical and emotional well-being, who expected admiration and constant attention, and who reacted with demeaning criticism and blame when anything went wrong or their slightest need went unattended.

Psychologist and author Nina Brown has labelled the underlying process at work here the destructive narcissistic pattern (DNP). Children of the Self-Absorbed helps readers sort out what happened to them as the result of a destructive childhood living with a self-absorbed parent. Through challenging self-exploration exercises, Brown helps readers to work toward building healthy self-esteem and to develop a new repetoire of protective and coping strategies. Readers learn how to identify destructive patterns that their parents may have had, evaluate attitudes and behaviors that may be hampering their own adult relationships, deal with self-doubt and other negative feelings, and explore techniques and stragegies for rebuilding their confidence and self-esteem.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781572242319
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
  • Publication date: 1/28/2001
  • Series: Unassigned Series
  • Edition description: Older Edition
  • Pages: 224
  • Product dimensions: 6.08 (w) x 9.16 (h) x 0.48 (d)

Meet the Author

Nina Brown, Ed.D., is Professor of Counseling at Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia. She is a member of the American Group Psychotherapy Association, American Counseling Association, American Psychological Association, Mid-Atlantic Group Psychotherapy Society, and the Virginia Counselors Association
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 22 )
Rating Distribution

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(6)

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(5)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 22 Customer Reviews
  • Posted April 13, 2009

    Great Book

    I read the First Edition and it helped considerably in dealing with my Narcisstic Mother. I was going to by a copy for my sister and found this Second Edition,instead. I decided to keep this copy and send my first edition to my sister. She had updated it from questions that readers from her first book had and talked about subjects that weren't mentioned in the first edition. This book has helped me understand more about who I am and why I am this way. I know my mother will never change, but the book has helped me see that the way I was treated as a child and as a adult by her has affected every aspect of my life. The book gives alot of great ideas and suggestions to help cope with the narcisstic parent, as well as, lets you know that you should not feet guilty in severing any contact with that parent. I highly recommend this book if you have a Narcisstic Parent!

    11 out of 11 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 7, 2011

    A MUST read

    I remember, as a small toddler, hiding under a bed, for a very long time, trying to hold in the tears for fear that someone would find me. I never understood why a small child would act this way but suspected something must have happened to me that I didn't remember. In the pages of this book I realized that I couldn't tell my adult self what had happened to me because, as a small child, I hadn't learned to speak a language that my adult self would understand. As I flipped through the pages of this book I began to understand the origins of my fears, insecurities and lack of self esteem. Not only do you begin to see the puzzle pieces before you, you also begin to put some of them together to make a clearer picture. I would recommend this book to anyone who suspects they are a child of a self absorbed parent (and if you are reading this you probably are) and wish you good luck on your path to finding the person you were meant to be.

    7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 20, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    scared at first.....

    I cant believe how much i've let my mother control me. This book made me mad sad and resentful but in the end, she will affect me no more. Thank You.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 18, 2001

    Narcissistic Parents, Narcissistic Off-spring

    Is there a linear connection between narcissistic parents and narcissistic off-spring? Is there a lineage of narcissism? Is narcissism contagious? Judging by the number of books about 'affected children of narcissists', the answer would seem to be: yes. Growing up with narcissistic parents is tantamount to being a POW, a hostage, the object of the whole spectrum of abuse. It is trauma writ large. And it can - and sometimes does - distort the child's healthy development. Narcissists are, as Nina Brown says, 'self-absorbed'. The child is an extension, a plaything, a toy, a nuisance, a threat - but never, simply, another human being with needs (especially emotional ones) and boundaries to be respected. This book is a straightforward presentation of this state of siege and how to overcome the pernicious after-effects of being exposed to narcissism, replete with case studies. A fascinating read. Sam Vaknin, author of 'Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited'.

    5 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 24, 2001

    Children of the Self Absorbed, a wonderful book

    As I read this book, I was amazed that the author knew my mother. It is wonderful to read this book and realize that it isn't me who is not strong enough or loving enough or smart enough. I am a good person with a self absorbed parent. I am ok. To have someone recognize being self absorbed as a relevant problem is earth shattering to me. My mother said 99% of the things that Ms. Brown talks about. You just can't imagine how wonderful it is to find this book. It is a great help. I bought it for my sister to read also. Narcissism is a painful problem to grow up with. When my husband and I had our first child he said that now he understood his parents and how much they loved him and how they'd raised and treated him. I on the other hand said, 'I don't understand my parents at all.' This book helps me to understand my mother and how self absorbed a person can be and how I can protect myself against her. A must read.

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 15, 2012

    Excellent Book!

    I love this book! As a child of someone with narcissism it is often hard to know how to deal with issues that arise with my parents. This book helped me to see how to deal with my parents and to be able to care for myself. I highly recommend this book to anyone that feels they have a narcissistic parent.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 18, 2012

    Highly Recommend - life changing

    Everyone who has ever suffered at the hand of self absorbed people will gain insight and help into how to overcome this

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 14, 2007

    A reviewer

    I've read everything on dysfunctional parents and families, from the novels SYBIL and BARK OF THE DOGWOOD to those by Pat Conroy (PRINCE OF TIDES and THE GREAT SANTINI). But if you're looking for a 'guide' to how to get out of this mess, CHILDREN is the book for you. Don't think that because you don't fall into the category of a child of the self-absorbed that you shouldn't read this book. It's for everyone, for EVERYONE truly knows either the children OR the parents that suffer of and from this disorder. The sad part is that most victims and their abusers don't realize what's going on. This book is one heck of an eye-opener. If you're interested in this subject, you must, must, must read Jackson McCrae's book 'The Bark of the Dogwood.' It has the most perfect example of narcissistic parents I've ever read about. Truly remarkable.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 16, 2013

    more from this reviewer

    Bought the first edition in 2001. It was a great help then to ex

    Bought the first edition in 2001. It was a great help then to explain what I was feeling but didn't have a name for it. Great book. Wish I could send my first edition to my sister and see if we had any of the same expericences. But as is often the case in these cases there's this silence among families about what's really going on.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 14, 2008

    Jessica Narcissist Dad

    I havent gotten the book yet but Im on my way to the store now and my therapist said this is the best book to read in understanding my dad.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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    Posted December 7, 2009

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    Posted October 16, 2009

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    Posted February 28, 2011

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    Posted December 16, 2009

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    Posted November 22, 2011

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    Posted October 15, 2012

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    Posted June 29, 2009

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 22 Customer Reviews

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