Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks
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Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks

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by Lisa Lampanelli
     
 

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Lisa Lampanelli, who Howard Stern calls “a true original and a brilliant comedy mind,” reveals all in Chocolate, Please, a jaw-droppingly hilarious, politically incorrect memoir on everything from relationships, food, and fat to why once you go black, you never go back. The gutter-mouthed, Grammy-nominated comedienne happily dishes on nearly

Overview

Lisa Lampanelli, who Howard Stern calls “a true original and a brilliant comedy mind,” reveals all in Chocolate, Please, a jaw-droppingly hilarious, politically incorrect memoir on everything from relationships, food, and fat to why once you go black, you never go back. The gutter-mouthed, Grammy-nominated comedienne happily dishes on nearly everything—from why all white women should date black men to the virtues of codependency to how to turn a stick of butter into parental love and attention—delightedly skewering all topics with equal fervor, herself included.

Editorial Reviews

Jay Leno
“Lisa is the most outrageous comic we have ever had on the Tonight Show.”
Sarah Silverman
“Jesus—this book is filthy.”
LL Cool J
“Lisa can tie me down to a bed any time!”
Carlos Mencia
“Every generation has a female comic that destroys the conventional wisdom that only men can be raunchy and funny. Lisa Lampanelli is this generation’s choice.”
Publishers Weekly
Only a few pages into the first chapter, the reader becomes aware that the title does not indicate a collection of dessert recipes but instead refers to comedian Lampanelli's past experiences having sex with black men, which she recalls as her “chocolate diet”: “As I lost more than 60 pounds, I ran an Underground Railroad through my apartment.” After more than 30 pages on her search for the “perfect black man,” Lampanelli moves on to outline her standup career, from handling hecklers to doing the Tonight Show. Her breakthrough came with a 2002 Friars Club roast of Chevy Chase, and since then, as an insult comic, she has become a familiar face at numerous roasts, billing herself as “Comedy's Lovable Queen of Mean.” Seeking the roots of her humor, she recalls her childhood as an “attention whore”: “Eating to get attention is a behavior that I continued into my high school days.” She follows her memories of “fat rehab” with a variety of topics, from the Virgin Mary to vegans. Much is quite funny, and Lampanelli never pulls her punches. Despite her raw language and raucous writing, honest reflections and stark self-insights emerge as she probes her past. (Sept.)

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780061733161
Publisher:
HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:
09/14/2010
Pages:
292
Sales rank:
849,275
Product dimensions:
5.30(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.80(d)

What People are saying about this

Carlos Mencia
“Every generation has a female comic that destroys the conventional wisdom that only men can be raunchy and funny. Lisa Lampanelli is this generation’s choice.”
Sarah Silverman
“Jesus—this book is filthy.”
LL Cool J
“Lisa can tie me down to a bed any time!”
Jay Leno
“Lisa is the most outrageous comic we have ever had on the Tonight Show.”

Meet the Author

Lisa Lampanelli skyrocketed to comedy fame thanks to her stellar performances on the Comedy Central roasts of Jeff Foxworthy, Pamela Anderson, William Shatner, and Flavor Flav, among others. A regular guest on The Tonight Show and The Howard Stern Show, Lisa continues to sell out theaters across the country with her sweetly served but acerbic stand-up wit. Her CD/DVD Dirty Girl was nominated for a Grammy for Best Comedy Album in 2007 and her first HBO special, Long Live the Queen, premiered to spectacular numbers in 2009. This fall, she will shoot a one-hour stand-up special for Comedy Central, scheduled for release in early 2011.

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Chocolate, Please 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 24 reviews.
Alla_S More than 1 year ago
In her memoir "Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks," Lisa Lampanelli hilariously explores her time in the limelight as the "Lovable Queen of Mean," her addiction for black men (whom she endearingly refers to as "chocolate" in the title), several stints in rehab, almost-too-funny-to-be-true relationship encounters (that must be the "freaks" part), as well as issues with food and co-dependence. The writing is very conversational and not chronological. Indeed, this felt more like a stand up comedy routine than a memoir as Lampanelli skips around telling stories about her career, men, personal problems, and childhood. She includes a whole section dedicated to her career firsts such as appearing on "The Howard Stern Show," being driven in a limo, going on Comedy Central, and etc. One of my favorite sections in the book focused on Lampanelli's past celebrity roasts for people like Donald Trump, Pamela Anderson, and Chevy Chase (favorite jokes and backstage gossip included). At the end of Lampanelli's memoir there's also a long section dedicated to her hilarious musings on life's issues, like pregnant women in the work force, family vacations, odd names given to children, and distracted dates among other things. Through it all, Lampanelli is bold, politically incorrect, sassy, and-just being herself. She's not afraid to assess her own imperfections and mistakes, taking the time to candidly reflect on various obstacles. In the end, she reminds me of a modern-day Bridget Jones-a middle-aged woman battling weight issues, suffering through numerous unlucky relationships, and putting down her issues in a book closer to a diary than a formal bio. Despite her various obstacles, however, there's no doubt that Grammy-nominated Lampanelli achieved more during her eighteen-year comedy career than some people do during their entire lives, which certainly provides a happy ending like no other.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is hilarious. Not only is Lisa an amazing comedian, she's a very talented writer. She writes with such honesty and the book is so funny I found myself laughing through the whole thing. I recommend this to everyone who can use a good laugh.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Obscene, vulgar, honest & darn funny; you hate yourself for laughing.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
What I enjoyed about the book: - Her brutally honest take on men - Her insights into her huge Italian family - Her visits to rehab - Her interactions with Howard Stern - Her views on Race Relations What I hated about the book - Her views on Race Relations Don't get me wrong - I am a pretty liberal person when it comes to a lot of things. The way the world works lately, if I didn't have a sense of humor about ignorance I would never leave my house. With that being said, I think she spent too much time on embracing the racial stereotypes that exist. Don't get me wrong - I laughed really hard during the 1st half of the book; but it got truly tired after a while. I get it. She loves sleeping with Black Men. She owns it. It's great. But I know that's not her only shtick. I hope in her next book, I'll get to see more sides of her.
bridget3420 More than 1 year ago
For those of you that don't know, I love to laugh! I will laugh at almost anything and everything and I especially love to laugh at myself. I'm the type of person that will trip in the middle of a crowded mall and burst with hyena laughter until I can't breathe. I learned early on to laugh at myself and not take life too seriously. That being said, it shouldn't come as a shock that I adore comedians. I'm a huge fan of Dane Cook, Katt Williams, Dave Chappelle and of course, my all time favorite - Lisa Lampanelli. She's my favorite because she has boobs and a foul mouth and she's not afraid to use either. She's Comedy's Lovable Queen of Mean and she sure knows how to tell a story. I learned a lot about Lisa from her book and I learned that she and I actually share a lot in common. She is a genuinely funny person and I'm so glad she allowed me to peek into her life and laugh with her. (Truth be told, I laughed at her a few times too, but shhh, don't tell her.) I would recommend this book to anyone who doesn't take life too seriously. If you're easily offended, do not pick up this book!
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Not too serious, but isnt all jokes. Lisa Lampanelli seems very real and honest! Not to mention shes F*@#in' Hilarious!!! Great book!! I'm looking forward to a 2nd!
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Jordan Burgin More than 1 year ago
So f-ing funny So great
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Ladycloud More than 1 year ago
I love her stand-up routines and her off-the-cuff remarks during the Comedy Central Roasts, and was really looking forward to this book. It did not disappoint! Most comedians are truly disfunctional in real life and have very sordid pasts and Lisa is no exception. I laughed all the way thru the book. What is most hilarious is her lust for "the chocolate men" which turned into being engaged to a large white Italian man. She truly does not discriminate!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love you to kisses u bye