Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks

Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks

by Lisa Lampanelli
Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks

Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks

by Lisa Lampanelli

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Overview

Lisa Lampanelli, who Howard Stern calls “a true original and a brilliant comedy mind,” reveals all in Chocolate, Please, a jaw-droppingly hilarious, politically incorrect memoir on everything from relationships, food, and fat to why once you go black, you never go back. The gutter-mouthed, Grammy-nominated comedienne happily dishes on nearly everything—from why all white women should date black men to the virtues of codependency to how to turn a stick of butter into parental love and attention—delightedly skewering all topics with equal fervor, herself included.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780061733161
Publisher: HarperCollins
Publication date: 09/14/2010
Pages: 292
Product dimensions: 5.30(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

About The Author
Lisa Lampanelli skyrocketed to comedy fame thanks to her stellar performances on the Comedy Central roasts of Jeff Foxworthy, Pamela Anderson, William Shatner, and Flavor Flav, among others. A regular guest on The Tonight Show and The Howard Stern Show, Lisa continues to sell out theaters across the country with her sweetly served but acerbic stand-up wit. Her CD/DVD Dirty Girl was nominated for a Grammy for Best Comedy Album in 2007 and her first HBO special, Long Live the Queen, premiered to spectacular numbers in 2009. This fall, she will shoot a one-hour stand-up special for Comedy Central, scheduled for release in early 2011.

Table of Contents

part 1 What I'm Known For

Chapter 1 Once You Go Black… 3

Chapter 2 Chocolate, Please 19

Chapter 3 Popping My Cherry: Important Firsts in the Life of Comedy's Lovable Queen of Mean 37

Chapter 4 Mixed Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire 67

part 2 How the Hell I Turned Out This Way

Chapter 5 Macy's and Hamburger's 91

Chapter 6 Sit, Kneel, Stand 103

Chapter 7 School Daze, or I'll Have an Honor Roll with Extra Jelly, Please 115

part 3 Comedian, Heal Thyself!

Chapter 8 My Big Fat Italian Bottom-Tommy and the Crash of 2007 131

Chapter 9 Comedy's Lovable Queen of Denial 147

Chapter 10 Fat Girl, Interrupted 167

Chapter 11 Porkers, Pukers, and Purgers 183

Chapter 12 Escape from Wickenburg 199

part 4 It's Only Upward from Here! The Future of Lisa Lampanelli 221

part 5 Lisa's Rules to Live By 229

Acknowledgments 291

What People are Saying About This

Carlos Mencia

“Every generation has a female comic that destroys the conventional wisdom that only men can be raunchy and funny. Lisa Lampanelli is this generation’s choice.”

Sarah Silverman

“Jesus—this book is filthy.”

LL Cool J

“Lisa can tie me down to a bed any time!”

Jay Leno

“Lisa is the most outrageous comic we have ever had on the Tonight Show.”

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