Citizen You!: Helping Your Government Help Itself

Overview

Will you be ready when FBI agents break down your door in the middle of the night to administer the annual Patriotism Pop Quiz? Avoid the embarrassment of permanent, extralegal incarceration. Buy Citizen You! now and memorize before it's too late! This is the only citizenship manual chosen by U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft as mandatory reading under an obscure provision of the USA PATRIOT Act.
  • Illuminate your body, mind, and soul with the...
See more details below
Paperback
$15.30
BN.com price
(Save 9%)$16.95 List Price
Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (32) from $1.99   
  • New (7) from $1.99   
  • Used (25) from $1.99   
Sending request ...

Overview

Will you be ready when FBI agents break down your door in the middle of the night to administer the annual Patriotism Pop Quiz? Avoid the embarrassment of permanent, extralegal incarceration. Buy Citizen You! now and memorize before it's too late! This is the only citizenship manual chosen by U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft as mandatory reading under an obscure provision of the USA PATRIOT Act.
  • Illuminate your body, mind, and soul with the cleansing light of Freedom™ that shines from the pages of this powerful handbook!
  • Read the only straight-shooting, authorized, legally binding code of behavior capable of saving you from mistakes of thought and deed that could land you in the clink forever!
  • Learn what it means to be a good American, and how you can impress the authorities so that they'll leave you alone!
  • Teach your children to respect God, the flag, our nation's brave Presidential Appointee George W. Bush, and most of all, Dick Cheney!
  • Be a better American than your neighbors, then turn them in to the Department of Homeland Security for their traitorous behavior!

Author Biography: Mike Loew has been the Graphics Editor for The Onion since 1995. He was a co-author and produced the graphics for The Onion's New York Times #1 bestseller Our Dumb Century, and is the author of Tough Call. Joe Garden's story of being plucked from the obscurity of a Madison, WI, liquor store and thrust into the obscurity of byline-free satire writing has become legend. He has been a writer for The Onion for ten years. Randy Ostrow is a producer of films such as Let It Ride, State of Grace, Fresh, and Basquiat. Together, they are the The Better Citizenship Bureau.

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781565849150
  • Publisher: New Press, The
  • Publication date: 7/4/2004
  • Pages: 232
  • Product dimensions: 7.02 (w) x 9.50 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Table of Contents

Welcoming Remarks 1
Civic Duties 3
Support Our Troops 29
Our Brave Leaders 55
Values and Morals 75
American Business 95
Fight Terror--Stay Scared 127
Traveling Abroad 153
Homeland Pride 175
Dangerous 9/11 Questions 195
Sources 223
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 21, 2004

    The most disturbing book I've read in a long time

    Couched in over-the-top language and presented as light-hearted satire and lampooning, this book reveals truly frightening details of how the Orwellian Bush administration has worked to destroy the true freedoms and values of America. The last chapter ('Read and Burn: Dangerous 9/11 Questions') leaves the reader shaken, and makes one conclusion inevitable: The evidence and facts surrounding the attacks of 9/11 DO NOT AGREE WITH THE GOVERNMENT'S EXPLANATION. Read this chapter; visit a few of the Web sites mentioned elsewhere in the book; then try (go ahead, try) to reconcile the administration's claims with the facts. Every American citizen should read this book. And THINK about it.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)