Joey Green, who achieved fame in previous books for cleaning his clothes with Cheez Whiz, was impressed by the useful suggestions people sent to his web site. Ultimately, he decided he owed it to the public to publish this helpful advice, including the news that Efferdent cleans stainless steel sinks, Alka-Seltzer cleans coffee makers, Hellman's Mayonnaise kills head lice, and Jell-O deodorizes smelly feet.
Inevitably, a book like this divides itself into several parts for the reader: appallingly goofy tips you swear you'll never try, intriguing but wacky tips you can't wait to try, and suggestions that just leave you kind of stunned. (Indeed, this is the book's charm).
So here goes: I will never:
- take a bath with Maxwell House coffee grounds
- clean hard contact lenses with Close-Up Classic Red Gel toothpaste
- create a deep-cleaning mask with unused Tidy Cat and water
- cook a turkey with Coca-Cola
On the other hand, I can't wait to:
- start a campfire using Dorito tortilla chips as kindling
- clean salt water deposits from boat parts with Kool-Aid
- kill mosquitoes by putting a little Lemon Joy in a bowl of water and leaving it on the porch
And you can consider me totally stunned at the thought of making a grilled cheese sandwich with a Proctor-Silex Ultra-Iron and Reynolds Wrap (wrap sandwich in foil and iron each side until golden brown).
I have already run out and bought a package of Bounce after learning it can eliminate musty smells from old books, clean bowling balls, and prevent a laser printer from jamming. I am thrilled to know that Coca-Cola can wash away the smell of skunk and take rust off ice skates (will Diet Coke work as well?); that Smirnoff vodka can substitute for aftershave lotion and take up spots on carpets; and that Jif peanut butter (that's creamy, not crunchy) can clean compact disks and remove decals from bathtubs.
Well, it's a new day for me and the products in my cupboard; it may be for you, too. (Ginger Curwen)