From the Publisher
“Joey Green, pantry professor (aka The Heloise from Hell), puts off-the-shelf products to off-the-wall uses.” People magazine
“A kind of cross between National Lampoon [Green is a former Lampoon writer] and 'Hints from Heloise.” Ladies' Home Journal
Barnes & Noble, Inc.
Suffering from sunburn? Nothing cures the pain better than a smooth layer of Cool Whip. Did you know that you can clean toilets with Gatorade? Remove tar on the skin with Wishbone Thousand Island Dressing? or that, among its many other uses, Cheez Whiz can remove grease from clothes?
Joey Green, known to TV viewers as "Heloise from Hell", now returns to bookland to tell the inside scoop about Pringles, Windex, Campbell's Tomato soup, and a full shopping cart of other products. The man who taught us that Miller's High Life is great for killing garden slugs now informs us about the shaving cream potential of Land O Lakes Butter. (Which also makes a fine rubdown for tired feet.) Green isn't stingy with other details. He mentions, for instance, that President George bush enjoyed White House snacks of pork rinds in Tabasco pepper sauce, Shredded Wheat mixed with crushed butterfingers bars, and pigs-in-a-blanket smothered with Cheez Whiz. Green, the wizard of weird, also confides that if you play the Al Yankovich song "Nature Trail to Hell" backwards, you will hear the message, "Satan eats Cheez Whiz."
Our favorite fact, though, concerns Cherrios: "Every little oat-based Cheerios "O" is individually puffed, one "O" at a time. Like popcorn, each Cheerios "O" explodes from the barrel of a puffing gun at a high temperature and a very high speed". With that almost mystical fact, we bid adieu to this delightful message.