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You know the feeling. You meet someone new—at a party or at work—and you just hit it off. There is an instant sense of camaraderie.
In a word, you “click.”
From the bestselling authors of Sway, Click is a fascinating psychological investigation of the forces behind what makes us click with certain people, or become fully immersed in whatever activity or situation we’re involved in.
From two co-workers who fall head over heels for each other while out to dinner and are married a month later (and fifteen years later remain just as in love), to a team of scientists who changed the world with the magic of their invention, these kinds of peak experiences, when our senses are completely focused on the moment, are something that individuals—and companies—strive to achieve. After all, when you’re in the “zone,” you’re happier and more productive. Why is it that we click in certain situations and with certain people, but not with others? Can this kind of magical connection be consciously encouraged? Is there a way to create such peak experiences, whether on a date or in your job?
According to Ori and Rom Brafman, there is.
In a powerful, story-driven narrative that weaves together cutting-edge research in psychology and sociology, the Brafmans explore what it means to “click”: the common factors present when our brain and senses are fully engaged. They identify five “accelerators” that increase the likelihood of these kinds of magic connections in our work and relationships.
From actors vying for a role on a popular TV series to police officers negotiating with hostage takers, we learn how one can foster an environment where we can click with another person and shape our thinking, behavior, and emotions.
A fascinating journey into how we engage with the world around us, Click will transform our thinking about those moments when we are in the zone and everything seems to fall into place.
ORI BRAFMAN is an organizational business consultant. ROM BRAFMAN is a psychologist with a private practice in Palo Alto, California. They are the coauthors of the New York Times bestseller Sway.
Acclaim for Sway:
“A provocative new book about the psychological forces that lead us to disregard facts or logic and behave in surprisingly irrational ways.” –New York Times
“A unique and compulsively readable look at unseen behavioral trends.” –Fortune
"A breathtaking book that will challenge your every thought, Sway hovers above the intersection of Blink and Freakonomics."—Tom Rath, coauthor of the New York Times #1 bestseller How Full Is Your Bucket?
“[An] engaging journey through the workings—and failings—of the mind…Their stories of senselessness…are as fascinating as the lessons we learn from them.” –Fast Company
"Count me swayed—but in this instance by the pull of entirely rational forces. Ori and Rom Brafman have done a terrific job of illuminating deep-seated tendencies that skew our behavior in ways that can range from silly to deadly. We'd be fools not to learn what they have to teach us."—Robert B. Cialdini, author of New York Times bestseller Influence
"If you think you know how you think, you'd better think again! Take this insightful, delightful trip to the sweet spot where economics, psychology, and sociology converge, and you'll discover how our all-too-human minds actually work."—Alan M. Webber, founding editor of Fast Company
Sitting by the pool at a Pasadena hotel, Paul was about to do something impulsive, even by his standards.
The Southern California evening breeze was starting to pick up. Anyone within earshot of Paul and the woman sitting across from him at the poolside table would have thought they'd known each other for years, although the pair had met only two days prior. They talked about everything from world travel to the 1970s antiwar movement to Socratic philosophy; their conversation had a casual, easy ﬂow to it. Watching the two of them-- Nadia with her ﬁne Mediterranean features and striking jet- black hair and Paul with his rugged, all- American looks-- one had a sense that they ﬁ t together. It was as if each was attuned to what the other was thinking. One moment they were laughing at embarrassing childhood stories and the next they were ﬁnishing each other's sentences. If there's such a thing as synergy between two people, it seemed almost palpable here.
One would never have suspected that the two were ostensibly meeting for work. At the time, Paul was in charge of the proposal for a $15 billion project to clean up a nuclear weapons facility in Colorado. To help put the proposal together, Paul had assembled experts from around the world. The team had taken over an office building in Pasadena; the work was so intense that the ofﬁce remained open 24/7. It was Paul's role to make sure all the countless moving parts worked together. But he was used to this level of intensity. A former officer in the army's special forces, Paul was trained to make split- second decisions, and he has the kind of personality people instinctively respond to-- he is a natural leader. In conversation, he focuses intently on the other person's every word, making it clear he's fully present and is listening carefully.
Every morning at exactly 8:15 a.m., Paul assembled the top executives from the team to brief them about the strategy for the day. The meeting several days ago, though, had been different. From the beginning, Paul was keenly aware of the new team member, Nadia. "I immediately thought, Who is that?" He found himself instantly attracted to her. Nadia's initial reaction to Paul seemed to be very different, however. It was her ﬁrst day on the job. Her vacation in Paris had been abruptly cut short so that she could ﬂ y to Pasadena and take over as the project's chief operating ofﬁcer. If that hadn't soured her mood enough, Paul made a comment during the meeting-- seemingly out of left ﬁeld-- that soured it further.
"I uttered something about there being nothing new in human relations since the time of Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates," he recalled. "I don't even remember why."
A few minutes later, as Paul stood before the group, he noticed out of the corner of his eye a folded note being passed from person to person. As he continued speaking, the note eventually made its way to him. He unfolded it and read the ﬁrst line: "I completely disagree with you." The hand- scrawled note went on for an entire page. But it was unsigned. He looked up, searching for a nod from the note's author. But all he got were blank stares. Only after the meeting had ended and the rest of his staff had ﬁ led out of the room did Nadia walk up to Paul.
Remembers Nadia, "Here we haven't met yet, and I just wrote him a note that said, 'I don't agree with you; what about the change in master-...
Posted June 17, 2010
If you are an introvert or otherwise have a problem really connecting with people, this book can an awesome game-changer in your life. It explains how people connect, and describes many fascinating experiments that led to the conclusions outlined in the book.
In any case, the book is well written, very scientifically sound, and a good read.
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