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Every year, more than 500,000 new students join the ranks of American college students and a good percentage of them stay in student housing. For those who do not stay in student housing, it is almost guaranteed that you will have a roommate at some point in your college career it s a rite of passage. But, for someone who has lived with their parents, in their own room, for 18 years, having a college roommate can be an entirely new experience, especially if that roommate is the ...
Every year, more than 500,000 new students join the ranks of American college students and a good percentage of them stay in student housing. For those who do not stay in student housing, it is almost guaranteed that you will have a roommate at some point in your college career it s a rite of passage. But, for someone who has lived with their parents, in their own room, for 18 years, having a college roommate can be an entirely new experience, especially if that roommate is the roommate from hell.
When living in a dorm, you have almost no choice as to who you live with. It could be the nicest person in the world or the your worst enemy. It is that horrible roommate who can ruin your college experience unless you know how to deal with them. This comprehensive guide to everything bad in a roommate is designed to show you how to do just that, providing you with a detailed plan to take on, confront, and handle your problem roommate.
You will learn what you should honestly expect from a roommate on the first day and how to tell if part of the problem might arise from you. Learn how to know if your personality types are too different and what you can do to alleviate the stress this might cause. Outlined in detail are common cultural and social differences and multi-step plans for handling each one of them. For those that have issues with confrontation, a special chapter designed to walk you through a calm conversation will help you bring up those concerns that have been nagging at you for weeks.
Information on the biggest problems you might encounter with your roommate have been gathered through hours of interviews with college students both new and graduated. Topics such as a roommate using your personal stuff, not cleaning their share, staying up too late, making too much noise, being rude or moody, neglecting to pay their share of the bills, bringing over too many house guests, and dozens more of the most common problems college students encounter with their roommates every year are discussed in this book.
Tips for each and every one of these issues and a special chapter on successful communication with a stubborn friend will help guide you through the harrowing maze of trying to fix your roommate from hell. You will learn when a problem roommate may actually have a real problem and how you can help them deal with it. Finally, if things just are not working out, you will learn how you can get help dealing with your roommate and even how you can move out if necessary. If you are pulling out your hair and agonizing over one too many late nights or moldy quarts of milk kicked under your bed, this book is exactly what you have been looking for.
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Chapter 1 What To Expect 23
Before You Arrive 23
College Roommate, Meet College Roommate 25
Life as a College Roommate 27
Roommate Conflict: An Introduction 32
Your First Few Days 35
Before You Move-In: Getting to Know Your New Roommate 37
You May Be Best Friends Now 38
The First Conversation 42
Do You Need to Put It in Writing? 44
First Homework Assignment: Becoming Acclimated to Residential Living 47
To Bring or Not to Bring 52
The First of Many Forms 54
Living Learning Communities (LLC) 56
Students with Disabilities, Special and Medical Needs, and International Students 58
Chapter 2 Once You Are There 61
Claiming Your Territory 61
In The Know 64
What About Me? 66
Most Common Complaints 70
Do Opposites Attract? 72
Your Parents 74
Dorm Staff and How They Can Help 79
Other Sources of Help 81
Chapter 3 Roommate Survival Skills 101 83
Early Riser Versus Late Sleeper 87
Noise Is Just That 89
When Guests Overstay Their Welcome 92
The Third Wheel 94
Sharing is Great, but Not in This Case 98
Locking Up 100
How to Get Involved 104
Chapter 4 The Personality Spectrum 107
Every Little Thing She Does Is Not Magic 109
The Neatnik Versus the Slob 111
The Gossip 115
The Kleptomaniac 118
The Whiner 121
The Aggressor 124
Adjusting Your Attitude 127
Chapter 5 Cultural and Social Differences 129
Overview: Not All Cultures Think, Look, and Sound Alike 130
Language Differences, Bigotry, and Racism 134
I Like Boys. You Do Not 136
Sexual Preference and Conflict 139
You Are a What? 142
Raising Awareness 144
Chapter 6 When There Is ASerious Problem 147
Substance Abuse 148
Substance Abuse and Your Roommate: What You Can Do 151
College Students and Mental-Health Issues 153
Recognizing the Symptoms 154
The Depressed Roommate: What You Can Do 157
Suicidal Thoughts or Actions 158
Eating Disorders 161
Eating Disorders and Your Roommate: What You Can Do 162
Anxiety Disorder 170
How to Help A Roommate Who Cannot Help Herself 174
Counseling Services 176
Chapter 7 Conflict, Cooperation, and Compromise 179
Conflict or Friendly Disagreement? 180
Causes of Conflict 182
When Tension Builds 183
The Engaged Listener 185
Strategies for Listening and Responding 186
When You Are the One Who is Angry 190
When You Are the One at Fault 191
Conflict Resolution Primer 192
Communicating the Problem 196
The Dangers of E-mail and Telephone 197
Acting Responsibly Versus Reacting Irresponsibly 200
When to Call in a Third Party 202
Warning! Do Not Ignore 204
Chapter 8 When To Call It Quits 205
Can We Still be Friends? 206
Next Steps 208
Off-Campus Housing 210
Tips for Living Off-Campus 212
Appendix A Articles On Roommate Living 217
Appendix B Depression In College 245
Appendix C Q&A With Author and Residence Life Area Coordinator 249
Appendix D Case Studies 261
Appendix E Off-Campus Housing Rental Inspection Checklist 271
Appendix F Resources 273
About the Author 281
Posted September 23, 2009
The pictures and humor sprinkled throughout this comprehensive book of sound, experienced advice make it an enjoyable read. As a mom, I wish my daughters had this book to read the summer before they entered college. One daughter fortunately had a great roommate but hellish apartment mates; the other daughter had a roommate from hell, and eventually went the off-campus housing route. This book would've helped them as well as me know how to counsel and coach my kids.
The author speaks with qualifications and experience. Right from the beginning she demystifies notions such as "do not assume that if you are matched with an honors student, that person will help you study." And she reminds students that starting college is a "huge step to adulthood." I appreciate her saying, "Be prepared to accept conflict as a means to develop problem-solving skills." These are comments I'd make as a mom but, my kids would accept it more coming from a book.
Every chapter from What to Expect to Survival skills 101 is full of practical advice and teaches readers what to do in problematic situations. I do not know of a similar read teaching basic interpersonal relationship skills for life and career to knowing when to call it quits on a roommate situation.
The appendices round out this valuable resource, and The College Roommate from Hell
should be sent from colleges and universities to all their incoming freshmen and available to parents as a resource on move-in day.
Brenda Nixon, M.A.
Author of the award-winning The Birth to Five Book: Confident Childrearing Right from the Start
Posted April 29, 2009
College is full of new experiences and challenges that mold many adults into who they are today. For those heading off to college this fall-there may be a couple of things running through the eager minds of a freshman. The anxiety of being away from home is overshadowed by newfound independence, but for some wondering who exactly they will be bunking with in college can bring about great concern. In this book "The College Roommate from Hell" Linda Fiore covers everything from A to Z that could possibly arise with a new college roommate.
Based on real accounts from college students around the world, this book not only offers advice on what to expect-but touches base on all of those awkward moments that college students face day to day while under the same roof. For the college student taking off on their own-this book is a must have! For parents-this is a great book to share one on one with their college student before their leaving.
Linda Fiore also lends tips on getting settled in, what to bring, how to ask for special accommodations and how to deal with noise complaints gracefully and tactfully. For those already in a sticky situation with a troublesome roommate, this book may help with working out even the most difficult roommate issues. Some issues Linda Fiore discusses in this book are compromising with roommates, writing up roommate agreements, developing questionnaires and how to write up a roommate preference form. For those who are looking for other living arrangement options, Linda Fiore shows students how to locate alternative housing and how to negotiate for a private dorm room. For situations that cannot be resolved and the student feels they are in imminent danger-this book gives step by step details on how to safely seek disciplinary action, keep the dorm environment healthy and deal constructively with threats and verbal abuse.
For those feeling like they are being thrown into the mix-this book is also filled with techniques and tips that also aid in resolving minor issues among other roommates. It also helps the reader understand the different ethnic backgrounds other students may be coming from and how to approach lifestyle issues with an open mind. This book serves as a great teaching manual that promotes open discussion among parents and young adults.
I give this book four stars because it serves as a guide book for not only freshman but students who are well seasoned with college life. This book offers information and teaching qualities that are valuable to any student away at college.
Posted April 15, 2009
Linda Fiore offers a book suitable for not only college roommates, but anyone having to live with a roommate. While the focus is on college students, her advice would work for anyone having roommate issues. She opens the book by explaining the importance of truth on the housing questionnaire put out by universities. She shows how this is one of the most important steps to getting a roommate you'll mesh with. The rest of the book uses real world examples and personalized situations to discuss and explain how to deal with conflicts.
Fiore shines at brining up situations many college freshmen may not even think about when dealing with a roommate. From warning against bunking with a close friend to discussing how to deal with roommates with eating disorders or emotional problems, Fiore opens up a Pandora 's Box of roommate situations. The advice on how best to use the words "I" and "you" when discussing a problem will benefit college students immensely. The portrayal of a college roommate situation as an interpersonal relationship teaches students how to avoid throwing blame and how to accept blame.
The book also steps away from the roommate situations on occasion to discuss how to deal with lonely, worried parents, what to pack, how to navigate college websites, and how to get involved in the residence hall. This book arms college students with useful information and advice about roommates and college life. Any new college students should consider adding this book to their collection for future reference.
Posted April 11, 2009
The College Roommate from Hell by Linda Fiore is a humorous guide on how to get along with a dorm room roommate. Fiore's writing style is light and friendly, making this informative book a breeze to read.
The book covers just about any situation a college student may run into when living with others, like how to claim your space, how to solve arguments and how to move out if your roommate is too much. The book even deals with what to do if your roommate has serious problems such as what to do if your roommate is a thief, drug abuser or has a food disorder,
A portion of the profits from the book goes to the Humane Society of the United States, so the book not only helps students in need, but animals in need as well.
Overall, this is a definite must read for any freshman heading off to college.
Posted April 10, 2009
If you are planning on going away to college and staying in a dorm, I highly recommend reading this book. From beginning to end it is filled with great advice for not only dealing with a roommate from Hell, but also words of wisdom on how not to become one yourself.
The book covers everything from filling out your dorm room questionnaire as honestly as possible to dealing with severe conflict with your roommate. Some of the material is covered in more than one chapter, but instead of being repetitive, it only serves to clarify that living with a difficult roommate isn't something that you need to put up with.
The book also covers things that you can do to make sure that your dorm experience is as pleasant as possible, from laying down guidelines with your roommate on such things as sharing and over night guest to participating in dorm activities. The book also address who in the college setting is equipped to help you out if the situation with your dorm mate gets out of hand.
The book is full of real life examples of people who have had issues with their roommate and how the situation was solved. There are also humorous parts to the book, such as Chapter 2's personality spectrum.
Even if you are not planning on staying in a dorm, but rather will be rooming off campus with someone, this book will still prove to be an invaluable resource for helping you not only get along with housemates, but also in adjusting to college life in general.
Posted April 8, 2009
Isn't it nice to have answers to problems even before you have issues to deal with? This book takes away a lot of the uncertainty involved in choosing and living with a college roommate. These real life and relevant insights and tips can make life in a dorm room a lot more manageable. The author's friendly style makes reading this book seem more like a conversation from an alumni from your college, gently giving you advice and preparing you for the next four years.
Although there is a lot to learn in these pages, there is a logical progression. From filling out the roommate preferences questionnaire to unpacking your bags, every step of the way is explained and evaluated. The author is a keen observer of personalities and understands ways of avoiding or resolving conflicts. She presents realistic scenarios and walks through the situations to viable solutions. Readers will clearly see that the baggage a person brings with them to college is also the emotional kind, and may create clashes and power struggles. Being ready to diffuse these circumstances will go a long way in establishing peace and developing better communication skills.
This book will benefit any student entering dorm life for the first time, and even some upperclassmen who may be having roommate difficulties. These pages highlight both the good and the not-so-good realities about sharing a room with a person you hardly know. Quotes from students are scattered throughout the book, giving both advice and encouragement. The appendices are a wealth of valuable information and feature a roommate agreement, additional tips and case studies. Actual stories are included and their resolutions are eye-opening, revealing diplomatic and effective strategies.
This comprehensive book should be part of every college student's curriculum. When students have peace in their dorm rooms, they will be better prepared to study and succeed.
Posted July 10, 2009
No text was provided for this review.