Come Here: A Man Copes with the Aftermath of Childhood Sexual Abuse

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For the first time, a distinguished American breaks the "code of silence" as a male incest survivor. In Come Here, Dr. Richard Berendzen courageously speaks out on his childhood sexual abuse, the effects of which, decades later, returned to drive him over the edge. Richard Berendzen was only eight years old the afternoon his mother called, "Come here," from her bedroom. That innocuous, two-syllable summons marked the beginning of a waking nightmare. During the next three years, Richard became the passion and prey...
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1993 Hard cover New in fine dust jacket. Inventory mark on the edge. (NS-Kiss). Sewn binding. Cloth over boards. 301 p. Audience: General/trade.

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1993-08-24 Hardcover New Brand new condition book, no marks, no wear. We appreciate your business and welcome any questionsMendoPower Employment Services will immediately and ... carefully pack this book in high-quality bubble lined, envelopes. Then we send you a confirmation e-mail. We appreciate your business and welcome any questions. Read more Show Less

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Overview

For the first time, a distinguished American breaks the "code of silence" as a male incest survivor. In Come Here, Dr. Richard Berendzen courageously speaks out on his childhood sexual abuse, the effects of which, decades later, returned to drive him over the edge. Richard Berendzen was only eight years old the afternoon his mother called, "Come here," from her bedroom. That innocuous, two-syllable summons marked the beginning of a waking nightmare. During the next three years, Richard became the passion and prey of a woman whose violent mental instability took the form of repeated incestuous assaults on a child who was powerless to resist. Still, when the abuse stopped, Richard found the strength to put it all behind him and get on with his life - or so he thought.... Not until Dr. Berendzen was in his early fifties did the secret he had so long repressed return to haunt him. An eminent astronomer and academician who had transformed American University in Washington, D.C., from a party school into a first-rate university, he was a devoted husband and family man whose only notable "vice" was workaholism. When his father died and Berendzen returned to his parents' East Dallas house, to the very room where he had been abused, something snapped. The shattering events that ensued are recounted with remarkable candor in Come Here. Overwhelmed by a flood of forbidden memories and unanswered questions, Dr. Berendzen began making bizarrely suggestive phone calls, which were traced to his office. Forced to resign his post, he entered the renowned Johns Hopkins Hospital, where he was diagnosed as suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, and commenced a slow and tortuous recovery process. Writing with collaborator Laura Palmer, co-author of Elizabeth Glaser's In the Absence of Angels, Richard Berendzen has given us the beautifully composed, personal story of a man of science whom only the restorative power of faith could make whole. For Come Here is, ultimately, a c

Now, a distinguished academician breaks the "code of silence" of male incest survivors with a memoir that took great courage to write. His mother's abuse was a time bomb which, when it finally exploded, initiated the tortuous recovery process recounted here. Duotone photos.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
Having suppressed for 40 years incidents of childhood incest on the part of his psychotic mother, Berendzen, a noted astronomer, devoted family man and former president of American University in Washington, D.C., suffered a recurrence of subconscious trauma which triggered compulsive phone calls to strangers about child abuse practices. The calls were eventually traced to his office, forcing his resignation from the university in a flurry of publicity. With coauthor Palmer ( Shrapnel in the Heart ), Berendzen delivers a remarkably objective account of his treatment under Johns Hopkins Hospital's psychiatric program for sexual disorders, and of his eventual healing, that should not only prove inspiring to other child abuse victims, but also presents a portrait of an exceptional man who transformed a horror story into this moving human document. It concludes with the resumption of his teaching career at AU and his dedication to the cause of abused children. Photos not seen by PW . (Sept.)
Barbara Jacobs
The truth can hurt, and telling about it is all the more painful when the narrator is a public figure. But here, told in a pared-down style, without gloss or glitz, is the tale of the former president of American University--childhood abuse by his mother, decades of denial, and his subsequent 1990 unveiling after secretive phone calls made to childcare workers. The story is chilling in its simplicity: a much-honored academic driven to discover what happened and how to reconstruct his life after his forced resignation. Berendzen's candor extends to his treatments at the Johns Hopkins University's sexual-disorders clinic, his depression, and his will to continue a life now examined. Family and friends, colleagues and chums, all receive more than due mention. This is a rare insight into the human psyche, leaving readers with the sober thought that "there but for the grace of God go I."
Kirkus Reviews
A scandal broke out a few years ago when American University president Berendzen was caught making sexually oriented phone calls to strangers. Here, Berendzen (Is My Armor Straight?, 1985) and Palmer (Shrapnel in the Heart, 1987) team up to tell the harrowing story of the academician's childhood sexual abuse—abuse that festered until its tragic eruption during middle age. Berendzen's mother first seduced the author when he was eight and continued until he was eleven, stopping for reasons as unspoken as her motivations for the abuse in the first place. Berendzen blocked the episodes from his consciousness and lost himself in work, becoming an astronomer, a professor at Harvard, and, finally, president of AU. Workaholism had destroyed his first marriage, but his second was happy and stable, as wife Gail worked with him to upgrade AU's image and put it on the road to financial prosperity; together, they became prominent on the Washington social scene. But, gradually, disturbing compulsions began to intrude upon Berendzen's carefully controlled life. He found himself making furtive phone calls to day-care providers who had advertised in Washington newspapers. He would quiz them about sexual activities with children and lead them on with confessions of his own invented exploits. The author never linked the calls to what he'd suffered, and, he says, never got sexual pleasure from them: He was trying to find out, in a confused way, what makes adults use children for such sick purposes. One woman decided to trap Berendzen and taped his calls: Exposed and forced to resign his position, he entered the John Hopkins clinic for sexual disorders and began to face his past. Berendzen'sstory of his recovery, his wife and daughter's steadfastness, his efforts on behalf of other abuse survivors, and his final forgiveness of his parents is told with honesty, eloquence and humility. An inspiring and compelling work. (Photographs—not seen)
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780679417774
  • Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 8/24/1993
  • Edition description: 1st ed
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 301
  • Product dimensions: 6.41 (w) x 9.56 (h) x 1.14 (d)

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