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Coming Around: Parenting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Kids [NOOK Book]

Overview

“I’m gay.” When a child confides these words to a parent, they can totally transform the relationship. Whether that results in a closer bond or a broken one is dependent upon the parent's ability to accept, nurture and honor the child, whatever his or her sexual orientation.

Coming Around is a resource for understanding and coming to terms with a child’s sexual orientation and maintaining a dialogue between parent and child. With compassion and wisdom, Dohrenwend addresses parents' fears regarding what to say ...
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Coming Around: Parenting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Kids

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Overview

“I’m gay.” When a child confides these words to a parent, they can totally transform the relationship. Whether that results in a closer bond or a broken one is dependent upon the parent's ability to accept, nurture and honor the child, whatever his or her sexual orientation.

Coming Around is a resource for understanding and coming to terms with a child’s sexual orientation and maintaining a dialogue between parent and child. With compassion and wisdom, Dohrenwend addresses parents' fears regarding what to say and what not to say, bigotry and social and religious prejudice, the legal issues facing LGBT individuals and how to understand homophobia.

Most important, she shares how to communicate that, whatever happens with a child's sexual or gender orientation, parents will never withdraw their love.

Coming out is a vulnerable time. Its announcement requires the re-exploration of a parent's personal feelings on homosexuality. Respecting your child’s decisions isn’t always easy, particularly if you fear his or her decisions will cost friends, ambitions, acceptance and respect. This is a rich resource, jam-packed with insights, information and practical guidance for parents of gay, bisexual and transgender children, as well as an indispensable reference for therapists, clergy, educators and psychological self-help collections.
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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
“Mom, Dad... I’m gay.” Some parents are prepared to hear this affirmation, but others may feel shock, anger, and disappointment. Even in our enlightened era, adolescents and young adults coming out to parents as gay, lesbian, bi, trans, or “gender fluid” need even more real understanding, acceptance, love, and guidance than their straight peers. This book, written by a lesbian family psychologist who specializes in helping straight parents and gay children understand one another and cope with social and emotional issues, addresses generational and religious biases, from parents’ first reaction, through a step-by-step learning curve, on the path toward a healthy, positive, and supportive ongoing family relationship. Dr. Dohrenwend comprehends parents’ fears in the face of bigotry and social prejudice, tells them what to say and more importantly, what not to say, and suggests how to deal with homophobia (both their own and others’), instructing how best to instill resiliency in their kids and communicate the vital message that no matter what, they will never withhold their love, regardless of personal sexual orientation. With neither political agenda nor explanation of sexual behavior, the five sections of this book share family stories—examples and anecdotes with which to identify—and ask and answer a range of difficult questions parents have about cruelty and stereotypes, religion, whether sexual orientation can be changed, stages of coming out, health risks, retaining family values, marriage equality and becoming in-laws and grandparents, and how kids can conduct a “Positively Gay” life. (Oct.)
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780882824130
  • Publisher: New Horizon Press
  • Publication date: 10/22/2012
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 240
  • Sales rank: 631,059
  • File size: 421 KB

Meet the Author

Anne Dohrenwend, ABPP, has a PhD in counseling psychology from the University of North Dakota and is board certified in Clinical Health Psychology. She is currently the assistant program director of the Internal Medicine Residency Program at McLaren Regional Medical Center, Ann Arbor, Michigan and is an associate professor at Michigan State University. She and her partner reside in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
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Table of Contents

Introduction xiii

Part I Tempering First Reactions

Chapter 1 Taking a Generational Perspective 3

Chapter 2 What Is LGBTQ? 7

Chapter 3 First Reactions 11

Chapter 4 What Not to Say 19

Chapter 5 What to Say 27

Chapter 6 Getting It Right When You Can't Agree 31

Chapter 7 Parental Adjustments 37

Part II Homophobia

Chapter 8 Understanding Homophobia 47

Chapter 9 Dissecting Stereotypes 51

Chapter 10 Casual Cruelty 57

Chapter 11 When Homophobia Morphs into Hate 61

Chapter 12 Religion and Homophobia 65

Chapter 13 Bullying 71

Chapter 14 Can Sexual Orientation be Changed? 79

Part III The Path to Healthy Adulthood

Chapter 15 Social-Emotional Development 87

Chapter 16 The Only Way Through Is Out 95

Chapter 17 Stages of Coming Out 105

Chapter 18 When Development Derails 113

Chapter 19 Resiliency and Hope 119

Part IV Health and Sexuality

Chapter 20 Sexuality: The Birds and the Bees Revisited 125

Chapter 21 Health Risks 133

Chapter 22 Optimizing Health Care 145

Chapter 23 Becoming an In-Law and Grandparent 159

Part V The Fight for Equality

Chapter 24 Values, Rights and Laws 167

Chapter 25 Marriage Matters 171

Chapter 26 Legal Protections 177

Chapter 27 Positively Gay 181

Conclusion 185

Appendix 187

Notes 195

Bibliography 203

Acknowledgements 223

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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 21, 2012

    Amazing book! As a gay adult, I was amazed by this book. The aut

    Amazing book! As a gay adult, I was amazed by this book. The author, with a wonderfully conversational and personable tone, makes readers feel OK about struggling through their children's sexuality. The book offers truly helpful, practical tips to help parents understand their children and to 'come around' to being the parents their kids need. But it isn't just for parents. This book is for anyone with gay friends or family.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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