Coming Out of Shame: Transforming Gay and Lesbian Lives
Most gay men and lesbians grow up learning that to be gay is to be sick, to be unnatural, to be a sinner. By adolescence, such negative attitudes have produced and reinforced a single, powerful emotion: shame, the feeling that you’re inferior and judged as “bad,” for what you are—gay.

In Coming out of Shame Gershen Kaufman and Lev Raphael expose the role shame has come to play in gay and lesbian lives. Rarely discussed but vastly important, shame powerfully shapes each individual’s development of self-esteem, identity, and intimacy—three areas in which gay men and lesbians have been extremely vulnerable to the crippling effects of shame. Tracing the historical and cultural sources of gay shame, Kaufman and Raphael reveal how gay men and lesbians have internalized shame, resulting in self-loathing and destructive behaviors.

The hallmark of shame is silence, and by breaking the silence around the dynamics of gay shame, Kaufman and Raphael offer a way to “come out” of shame and begin the journey toward wholeness and self-acceptance. Filled with the experiences of those struggling to overcome shame, Coming Out of Shame includes strategies for:

• Storing self-esteem
• Creating a positive gay identity
• Healing scenes of shame
• Developing partnerships in intimacy
 
Self-affirming and inspirational, Coming Out of Shame guides the transformation of gay shame into gay pride and empowers gay men and lesbians as no other book has done.
1112966578
Coming Out of Shame: Transforming Gay and Lesbian Lives
Most gay men and lesbians grow up learning that to be gay is to be sick, to be unnatural, to be a sinner. By adolescence, such negative attitudes have produced and reinforced a single, powerful emotion: shame, the feeling that you’re inferior and judged as “bad,” for what you are—gay.

In Coming out of Shame Gershen Kaufman and Lev Raphael expose the role shame has come to play in gay and lesbian lives. Rarely discussed but vastly important, shame powerfully shapes each individual’s development of self-esteem, identity, and intimacy—three areas in which gay men and lesbians have been extremely vulnerable to the crippling effects of shame. Tracing the historical and cultural sources of gay shame, Kaufman and Raphael reveal how gay men and lesbians have internalized shame, resulting in self-loathing and destructive behaviors.

The hallmark of shame is silence, and by breaking the silence around the dynamics of gay shame, Kaufman and Raphael offer a way to “come out” of shame and begin the journey toward wholeness and self-acceptance. Filled with the experiences of those struggling to overcome shame, Coming Out of Shame includes strategies for:

• Storing self-esteem
• Creating a positive gay identity
• Healing scenes of shame
• Developing partnerships in intimacy
 
Self-affirming and inspirational, Coming Out of Shame guides the transformation of gay shame into gay pride and empowers gay men and lesbians as no other book has done.
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Coming Out of Shame: Transforming Gay and Lesbian Lives

Coming Out of Shame: Transforming Gay and Lesbian Lives

Coming Out of Shame: Transforming Gay and Lesbian Lives

Coming Out of Shame: Transforming Gay and Lesbian Lives

Paperback(Reprint)

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Overview

Most gay men and lesbians grow up learning that to be gay is to be sick, to be unnatural, to be a sinner. By adolescence, such negative attitudes have produced and reinforced a single, powerful emotion: shame, the feeling that you’re inferior and judged as “bad,” for what you are—gay.

In Coming out of Shame Gershen Kaufman and Lev Raphael expose the role shame has come to play in gay and lesbian lives. Rarely discussed but vastly important, shame powerfully shapes each individual’s development of self-esteem, identity, and intimacy—three areas in which gay men and lesbians have been extremely vulnerable to the crippling effects of shame. Tracing the historical and cultural sources of gay shame, Kaufman and Raphael reveal how gay men and lesbians have internalized shame, resulting in self-loathing and destructive behaviors.

The hallmark of shame is silence, and by breaking the silence around the dynamics of gay shame, Kaufman and Raphael offer a way to “come out” of shame and begin the journey toward wholeness and self-acceptance. Filled with the experiences of those struggling to overcome shame, Coming Out of Shame includes strategies for:

• Storing self-esteem
• Creating a positive gay identity
• Healing scenes of shame
• Developing partnerships in intimacy
 
Self-affirming and inspirational, Coming Out of Shame guides the transformation of gay shame into gay pride and empowers gay men and lesbians as no other book has done.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780385477963
Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
Publication date: 12/01/1996
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 304
Product dimensions: 5.60(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.65(d)

About the Author

Gershon Kaufman, PhD, is the author of several works on the subject of shame including, Coming Out of Shame: Transforming Gay and Lesbian Lives. He is a professor at Michigan State University and lectures on shame and self-esteem.

Lev Raphael, PhD, is the author of several works including a collection of short stories, Dancing on Tisha B’Av. He teaches creative writing, popular literature, and Jewish American literature at Michigan State University.

Table of Contents

Prologue: Divided from Ourselves3
Chapter 1A Sickness of the Soul15
Chapter 2Haunted by Shame77
Chapter 3From Gay Shame to Gay Pride122
Chapter 4Affect, Sex, and Relationships187
Chapter 5Partners in Intimacy236
Epilogue: Revisioning Our Lives, Reinventing Ourselves274
Notes281
Selected Bibliography285
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