Communication Gaps and How to Close Them [NOOK Book]


This is the digital version of the printed book (Copyright ? 2002).

The success of systems or software development depends on effective communication. But have you ever had trouble articulating a complex concept? Have you ever doubted that someone truly understood you?or that you completely received someone?s message?

Managers and technical professionals have to communicate effectively in order to understand client requirements, build ...

See more details below
Communication Gaps and How to Close Them

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK
  • NOOK HD/HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$11.49 price
(Save 42%)$19.99 List Price


This is the digital version of the printed book (Copyright © 2002).

The success of systems or software development depends on effective communication. But have you ever had trouble articulating a complex concept? Have you ever doubted that someone truly understood you–or that you completely received someone’s message?

Managers and technical professionals have to communicate effectively in order to understand client requirements, build work-related relationships, meet market demands, and survive time pressures. So often, though, communication breaks down, and nothing gets done (or done well, at least).

Thankfully, Naomi Karten–author of Managing Expectations–is here to help. Readers learn how to improve the way they handle a wide variety of communication conflicts, from one-on-one squabbles to interdepartmental chaos to misinterpretations between providers and customers.

Drawing on a variety of recognizable experiences and on useful models for understanding personalities, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and the teachings of family therapist Virginia Satir, Karten provides a series of powerful tools and concepts for resolving communication problems–as well as methods for preventing them in the first place.

Inadequate communications include misunderstood or missed messages, contradictory or mixed messages, and messages that are intentionally sabotaged. As the author notes, these miscommunications “can have a damaging, puzzling, and counterproductive impact on projects and relationships.” Karten helps readers identify many of the common factors that can cause communication gaps. For example,

  • mistaken assumptions of understanding
  • lack of follow-up
  • unfixed project terminology
  • emotional baggage
  • personality conflicts
  • mismatched communication preferences

Karten’s witty, conversational tone makes this book easy to read; her real-life stories and examples make it easy to understand; and her use of hilarious cartoons by Mark Tatro brings her lessons to life.

Communication Gaps and How to Close Them is a must-read for anyone who recognizes that the way he or she communicates in professional encounters, as well as in personal ones, can be improved. With Karten’s useful insights and practical techniques, this book will change not only how you communicate but also how you think about communication.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Presents practical methods for handling a wide variety of professional communication conflicts ranging from one-on-one problems to complete office chaos. The four main sections address gaps in everyday interactions, in building relationships, in service situations, and in response to changes. Information is presented clearly, in a conversational style. Annotation c. Book News, Inc., Portland, OR (
Soundview Executive Book Summaries
Karten, an expert in service strategies and customer relations, understands the importance of communication. Communication Gaps helps professionals improve how they handle many communication conflicts, from one-on-one squabbles to interdepartmental chaos. Offering useful insights and practical techniques, Karten presents tips to help readers meet client requirements, build work-related relationships and survive time pressures and market demands. Copyright (c) 2002 Soundview Executive Book Summaries
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780133488708
  • Publisher: Pearson Education
  • Publication date: 7/29/2013
  • Series: Dorset House eBooks
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 376
  • File size: 3 MB

Meet the Author

Naomi Karten is president of Karten Associates, based in Randolph, Massachusetts. Before forming her business in 1984, Naomi gained extensive experience in technical, customer support, and management positions. She has presented seminars and keynotes to more than 100,000 people internationally to help them deliver superior service, improve communication, strengthen teamwork, and build strong, trusting relationships. For eight years, she was also an instructor for the Weinberg and Weinberg workshop Problem Solving Leadership (PSL). Naomi is the author of several books and eBooks, including Managing Expectations and Presentation Skills for Technical Professionals. Readers have described her newsletter, Perceptions & Realities (posted at, as lively, informative, and a breath of fresh air.
Read More Show Less

Read an Excerpt

Communicating Change
by Naomi Karten

In times of uncertainty, such as those triggered by technological or organizational change, most people have an intense need to know what is happening and how it will affect them.  Yet, so often, communication in the form of information, empathy,  reassurance, and feedback is in short supply.

Not that no one's communicating.  Griping, for example, is common.  So are venting, grousing, and gossiping.  The rumor mill runs at full speed.  But most of the communication occurs among those affected by the change.  Those who initiated it, in contrast, are silent; or so it seems to those affected.  The result is a gap between those who introduce change and those who are on the receiving end.

As always, Scott Adams tells it like it is.  In The Dilbert Principle, he notes that people hate change.  The reason, he contends, is that change makes us stupider because our relative knowledge decreases every time something changes.  "And frankly, if we're talking about a percentage of the total knowledge in the universe, most of us aren't that many basis points superior to our furniture to begin with.  I hate to wake up in the morning only to find that the intellectual gap between me and my credenza has narrowed."[1] Point well taken.

Failure to Communicate

During a recent conference at which I gave a presentation on managing change, a member of my audience asked why senior managers are so poor at communicating during times of change. Why, she wanted to know, do they tell us so little, when almost anything would help‹even just acknowledging what a stressful time this is for us all?

Actually, it's not just senior managers but managers at all levels who communicate inadequately during times of change.  These managers include the many who introduce or implement change as well as those who oversee the people affected by it.  They may be project managers or team leaders or consultants.  Two factors stand out as responsible for creating this Great State of Noncommunication.  One is that, despite having experienced nearly non-stop change themselves, many managers nevertheless don't appreciate the jolting impact change can have on others and fail to recognize even the small steps they can take to help others adjust.

The second factor is that even when those in charge do understand the jarring impact of change, many prefer not to take any action.  They avoid communicating because doing so means dealing with those messy "people issues" (such as feelings, for example). As William Bridges notes in Managing Transitions,  "Managers are sometimes loathe to talk so openly, even arguing that it will 'stir up trouble' to acknowledge people's feelings."[2]  Of course, as Bridges emphasizes, it's not talking about these reactions that creates the problem.

In place of communication, management too often uses a "get" strategy: trying to get people to change.  As one vice president put it regarding the resistance of his company's sales force to use of a complex, new customer-relationship-management system, "Our biggest challenge was to get them to change their habits and use it for planning."

Alas, no one can get anyone else to do willingly something that person doesn't  want to do or doesn't know how to do.  No one can get others to adopt enthusiastically what they fear, resent, or distrust.  In a fantasy world, all those affected by a given change would welcome, endorse, and support it, openly and joyfully.  Rah, rah, the change is here! But in the real world, change is unsettling.  It always has been and it always will be.

The Get Strategy at Work

Inadequate communication was a key contributor to intense, negative employee reaction in two companies, the first of which faced technological change, and the second, organizational change.  The first company embarked on a large-scale, company-wide, desktop upgrade. The transition to the current platform a few years earlier had been easy for some employees, but a terrible trauma for others. Although the technology acted temperamentally at times, it was what everyone was accustomed to now.

Randy, the project manager of the upgrade-implementation team, repeatedly asked his CIO to set the stage for change by issuing a corporate-wide announcement.  Randy reasoned that employees would be more receptive to the upgrade if they knew why it was being undertaken, how they'd benefit from it, when it would take place, and what they could expect as it proceeded. However, the CIO did not provide information to employees. As a result, some employees didn't become aware of the upgrade until Randy's team contacted their department to explain and schedule it.   Most others learned about it through that most unreliable form of communication, the grapevine.

Employees reacted angrily when technical staff members arrived to tamper (their word) with their computers. Anger subsequently turned to outright hostility when employees experienced an unanticipated period of degraded system perfor-mance while implementation team members resolved bugs and fine-tuned the network. People fumed, "Why are you pushing this down our throats?"

Called in to meet  with several of these employees, I discovered that there had been so little communication that some employees didn't even realize that the upgrade was company-wide.  They believed it had been designed only for their particular department. The way they experienced it, the change was being done to them, not for them. They were victims of a get strategy.

In the company coping with organizational change, inadequate communication also contributed significantly to employee anger and distress.  Describing this experience, Dave, a director, bemoaned the dismal morale and escalating staff turnover that followed his company's merger with a corporate giant. Although a reorganization of his division was certain, and rumors were rampant, months had passed without the release of details by company executives.

Hoping to stop the exodus from his division, Dave urged senior management either to talk directly to employees about the upcoming reorganization or, at the least, to acknowledge their concerns and let them know when information would be forthcoming. Management ignored his recommendation.

Believing that employees would benefit from an understanding of the psychological nature of how people react to change, Dave tried another approach.  He offered to give a presentation to his division on the implications of change.  Management rejected his offer.

Dave was determined not to give up.  Trying one last approach, he inserted a succinct slide depicting the experience of change into another presentation he was preparing to give to his staff. When he previewed the presentation for senior managers, they directed him to remove the offending slide before giving the presentation to the troops.

Many months later , senior management rammed a comprehensive reorganization into place without informing, involving, or preparing employees.  Morale worsened.  The company, which was once a leader in its field, with a sterling reputation as "the place to work," now became a liability.  Turnover led to more turnover, and the company's severely damaged reputation made staff vacancies difficult to fill.

Why Change Packs a Wallop

In both Randy's and Dave's companies, management's view seemed to be, in effect, "If we don't tell them this is a big change, maybe they won't notice that their guts are knotting up in response."   Yet these are hardly isolated cases.  Perhaps management's hope, with each such wrenching change, is that this time will be different.  Maybe, this time, employees will go along meekly and passively, and won't make a fuss. Maybe, for once, management can just drop the changes into place and tiptoe away.  Maybe, people won't notice that no respect has been shown‹either for them or for the fact that big changes always create turmoil.

However, people always notice.

The reason people notice is that significant change is a felt experience.  How people respond to change is much more an emotional, gut-level experience than a logical, rational experience.  Change efforts trigger a panoply of reactions‹eagerness, enthusiasm, and excitement, as well as fear, trepidation, anxiety, uncertainty, anger, and stress‹feelings that are both positive and negative.

Change, after all, signifies an end to something.  As Bridges notes in Managing Transitions, "When endings take place, people get angry, sad, frightened, depressed, confused. These emotional states can be mistaken for bad morale, but they aren't. They are the signs of grieving. . . ."[3]

The importance of the grieving process is acknowledged rarely enough in personal circumstances, but it is given recognition even less frequently in the workplace.  Yet, grieving is a response not just to death, but also to other kinds of loss: the loss of a job, a role, a team, a location, a specialty, a valued skill, a way of doing work‹the loss, in other words, of a familiar way of life and its attendant safety, certainty, and predictability.  People grieve when they have lost something that matters to them.  Failure to acknowledge the need to come to terms with change doesn't eliminate that need; in fact, it places a greater burden on those who are trying to cope.

What is to be learned is that if you are in a position to introduce change or manage its impact, then what, when, and how you communicate during the course of that change can dramatically influence the success of the effort. Your challenge‹and this may signify a change for you‹is to communicate with the affected people in a way that acknowledges and respects their reactions, while helping them to accept the change and adjust to it as expeditiously as possible.


Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Mind the Gap 3

The Ability to Communicate 6

Why Communication Gaps Are Prevalent 7

Closing the Gaps 9

Key Recommendations 14

Gaps Galore 16

Section 1: Gaps in Everyday Interactions 17

Chapter 2: Getting Through: Responsibilities of the Sender 20

Unnoticed Messages 22

Misstated Messages 26

Missed Messages 28

Cluttered Messages 31

Hidden Messages 35

Off-putting Messages 37

One-Sided Messages 40

Unexplained Messages 41

Conflicting Messages 43

Befuddling Messages 44

Informing and Involving 46

Chapter 3: Misinterpretations: How Messages Cause Confusion 49

Two People Separated by a Common Language 50

Terminology Disconnects 53

Clarify, Clarify, Clarify 68

Chapter 4: Untangling Tangled Interactions: Reaction of the Recipient 73

Let Me Count the Ways 75

Ingredients of an Interaction 76

Intake: Candid Camera, with a Twist 82

Interpretation: Multiple Modified Meanings 85

Feelings: What Happens on the Inside 87

How to Put the Model to Use 92

A Few More Guidelines and Some Words of Caution 100

Section 2: Gaps in Building Relationships 103

Chapter 5: Building a Strong Foundation 106

Working Together, Together 107

Foundation-Building Takes Time and Effort 108

Build the Foundation While Building the House 110

Chapter 6: Appreciating and Benefiting from Communication Differences 135

A Framework for Discussing Communication Preferences 136

Where You Get Your Energy: Extraversion (E) versus

Introversion (I) 138

How You Take In Information: Sensing (S) versus

Intuition (N) 144

How You Make Decisions: Thinking (T) versus Feeling (F) 150

How You Relate to the World: Judging (J) versus

Perceiving (P) 154

It Takes All Kinds 159

Chapter 7: Understanding the Other Party’s Perspective 160

On Using a Perspectoscope 162

Start by Scrapping Your Labels 163

Ponder Factors that Influence Other People’s Behavior 167

A Technique for Considering the Possibilities 167

Observe Possibilities from Different Perspectives 172

Become Truly Empathetic 174

Consider Their Case in Making Yours 177

Try Something Different 190

Chapter 8: The Care and Feeding of Relationships 191

Give Thanks 192

Conduct a Temperature Reading 197

Give Personalized Attention 201

Stay Connected 206

Create Communication Metrics 208

Create Relationship-Tending Roles 211

Section 3: Service Gaps 219

Chapter 9: The Communication of Caring 222

Contributors to Customer Satisfaction 223

Universal Grievances 229

Claims of Caring 246

Chapter 10: Gathering Customer Feedback 250

Three Feedback-Gathering Flaws 252

Asking the Right Questions and Asking the Questions Right 258

When and How to Gather Feedback 268

Act on the Feedback Gathered 272

Perceptual Lags 274

Chapter 11: Service Level Agreements: A Powerful Communication Tool 277

Why an SLA Succeeds or Fails 278

Adapting the Tool 297

Section 4: Change Gaps 299

Chapter 12: The Experience of Change 302

Failure to Communicate 303

The Stages of Response to Change 307

Change Models 309

The Satir Change Model 310

Meta-Change 320

Chaos as Status Quo 322

Chapter 13: Changing How You Communicate During Change 323

Respect the Matter of Timing 324

Expect Individual Differences in Response to Change 325

Allow Time for Adjustment 328

Treat the Old Status Quo with Respect 330

Allow People to Vent 332

Listen Proactively 334

Provide Information and More Information 335

Say Something Even When You Have Nothing to Say 337

Empathize, Empathize, Empathize 338

Choose Your Words Carefully 341

Dare to Show People You Care 343

Involve People in Implementing the Change 344

Educate People About the Experience of Change 345

Deal with It! 345

Chapter 14: On Becoming a Gapologist 347

Afterword 350

Bibliography 351

Index 357

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 1 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star


4 Star


3 Star


2 Star


1 Star


Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation


  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 25, 2002

    Karten Bridges Communications Gaps

    Naomi Karten's current work focuses on how to "mind the gap" between you and your audience. This advice is helpful whether your audience is one person or many, whether communications are in writing or in speech. Her advice goes deeper than the handy techniques she presents. She gives a wider view in analyzing the relationships, the context, and the internal states each of the participants (you the communicator and the listener or reader). Her advice on understanding the other's perspective is a prime example of that depth. While making one's own case is necessary, understanding the other person's perspective is perhaps a more subtle requirement of communications. I found this book not only helpful in my business communications, which the author targets, but also in the range of communications within my own personal life. I recommend this book to all my business colleagues who struggle with the intention of good communciations and the results of poor communications.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)