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This is the digital version of the printed book (Copyright ? 2002).
The success of systems or software development depends on effective communication. But have you ever had trouble articulating a complex concept? Have you ever doubted that someone truly understood you?or that you completely received someone?s message?
Managers and technical professionals have to communicate effectively in order to understand client requirements, build ...
This is the digital version of the printed book (Copyright © 2002).
The success of systems or software development depends on effective communication. But have you ever had trouble articulating a complex concept? Have you ever doubted that someone truly understood you–or that you completely received someone’s message?
Managers and technical professionals have to communicate effectively in order to understand client requirements, build work-related relationships, meet market demands, and survive time pressures. So often, though, communication breaks down, and nothing gets done (or done well, at least).
Thankfully, Naomi Karten–author of Managing Expectations–is here to help. Readers learn how to improve the way they handle a wide variety of communication conflicts, from one-on-one squabbles to interdepartmental chaos to misinterpretations between providers and customers.
Drawing on a variety of recognizable experiences and on useful models for understanding personalities, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and the teachings of family therapist Virginia Satir, Karten provides a series of powerful tools and concepts for resolving communication problems–as well as methods for preventing them in the first place.
Inadequate communications include misunderstood or missed messages, contradictory or mixed messages, and messages that are intentionally sabotaged. As the author notes, these miscommunications “can have a damaging, puzzling, and counterproductive impact on projects and relationships.” Karten helps readers identify many of the common factors that can cause communication gaps. For example,
Karten’s witty, conversational tone makes this book easy to read; her real-life stories and examples make it easy to understand; and her use of hilarious cartoons by Mark Tatro brings her lessons to life.
Communication Gaps and How to Close Them is a must-read for anyone who recognizes that the way he or she communicates in professional encounters, as well as in personal ones, can be improved. With Karten’s useful insights and practical techniques, this book will change not only how you communicate but also how you think about communication.
by Naomi Karten
In times of uncertainty, such as those triggered by technological or organizational change, most people have an intense need to know what is happening and how it will affect them. Yet, so often, communication in the form of information, empathy, reassurance, and feedback is in short supply.
Not that no one's communicating. Griping, for example, is common. So are venting, grousing, and gossiping. The rumor mill runs at full speed. But most of the communication occurs among those affected by the change. Those who initiated it, in contrast, are silent; or so it seems to those affected. The result is a gap between those who introduce change and those who are on the receiving end.
As always, Scott Adams tells it like it is. In The Dilbert Principle, he notes that people hate change. The reason, he contends, is that change makes us stupider because our relative knowledge decreases every time something changes. "And frankly, if we're talking about a percentage of the total knowledge in the universe, most of us aren't that many basis points superior to our furniture to begin with. I hate to wake up in the morning only to find that the intellectual gap between me and my credenza has narrowed." Point well taken.
Failure to Communicate
During a recent conference at which I gave a presentation on managing change, a member of my audience asked why senior managers are so poor at communicating during times of change. Why, she wanted to know, do they tell us so little, when almost anything would help‹even just acknowledging what a stressful time this is for us all?
Actually, it's not just senior managers but managers at all levels who communicate inadequately during times of change. These managers include the many who introduce or implement change as well as those who oversee the people affected by it. They may be project managers or team leaders or consultants. Two factors stand out as responsible for creating this Great State of Noncommunication. One is that, despite having experienced nearly non-stop change themselves, many managers nevertheless don't appreciate the jolting impact change can have on others and fail to recognize even the small steps they can take to help others adjust.
The second factor is that even when those in charge do understand the jarring impact of change, many prefer not to take any action. They avoid communicating because doing so means dealing with those messy "people issues" (such as feelings, for example). As William Bridges notes in Managing Transitions, "Managers are sometimes loathe to talk so openly, even arguing that it will 'stir up trouble' to acknowledge people's feelings." Of course, as Bridges emphasizes, it's not talking about these reactions that creates the problem.
In place of communication, management too often uses a "get" strategy: trying to get people to change. As one vice president put it regarding the resistance of his company's sales force to use of a complex, new customer-relationship-management system, "Our biggest challenge was to get them to change their habits and use it for planning."
Alas, no one can get anyone else to do willingly something that person doesn't want to do or doesn't know how to do. No one can get others to adopt enthusiastically what they fear, resent, or distrust. In a fantasy world, all those affected by a given change would welcome, endorse, and support it, openly and joyfully. Rah, rah, the change is here! But in the real world, change is unsettling. It always has been and it always will be.
The Get Strategy at Work
Inadequate communication was a key contributor to intense, negative employee reaction in two companies, the first of which faced technological change, and the second, organizational change. The first company embarked on a large-scale, company-wide, desktop upgrade. The transition to the current platform a few years earlier had been easy for some employees, but a terrible trauma for others. Although the technology acted temperamentally at times, it was what everyone was accustomed to now.
Randy, the project manager of the upgrade-implementation team, repeatedly asked his CIO to set the stage for change by issuing a corporate-wide announcement. Randy reasoned that employees would be more receptive to the upgrade if they knew why it was being undertaken, how they'd benefit from it, when it would take place, and what they could expect as it proceeded. However, the CIO did not provide information to employees. As a result, some employees didn't become aware of the upgrade until Randy's team contacted their department to explain and schedule it. Most others learned about it through that most unreliable form of communication, the grapevine.
Employees reacted angrily when technical staff members arrived to tamper (their word) with their computers. Anger subsequently turned to outright hostility when employees experienced an unanticipated period of degraded system perfor-mance while implementation team members resolved bugs and fine-tuned the network. People fumed, "Why are you pushing this down our throats?"
Called in to meet with several of these employees, I discovered that there had been so little communication that some employees didn't even realize that the upgrade was company-wide. They believed it had been designed only for their particular department. The way they experienced it, the change was being done to them, not for them. They were victims of a get strategy.
In the company coping with organizational change, inadequate communication also contributed significantly to employee anger and distress. Describing this experience, Dave, a director, bemoaned the dismal morale and escalating staff turnover that followed his company's merger with a corporate giant. Although a reorganization of his division was certain, and rumors were rampant, months had passed without the release of details by company executives.
Hoping to stop the exodus from his division, Dave urged senior management either to talk directly to employees about the upcoming reorganization or, at the least, to acknowledge their concerns and let them know when information would be forthcoming. Management ignored his recommendation.
Believing that employees would benefit from an understanding of the psychological nature of how people react to change, Dave tried another approach. He offered to give a presentation to his division on the implications of change. Management rejected his offer.
Dave was determined not to give up. Trying one last approach, he inserted a succinct slide depicting the experience of change into another presentation he was preparing to give to his staff. When he previewed the presentation for senior managers, they directed him to remove the offending slide before giving the presentation to the troops.
Many months later , senior management rammed a comprehensive reorganization into place without informing, involving, or preparing employees. Morale worsened. The company, which was once a leader in its field, with a sterling reputation as "the place to work," now became a liability. Turnover led to more turnover, and the company's severely damaged reputation made staff vacancies difficult to fill.
Why Change Packs a Wallop
In both Randy's and Dave's companies, management's view seemed to be, in effect, "If we don't tell them this is a big change, maybe they won't notice that their guts are knotting up in response." Yet these are hardly isolated cases. Perhaps management's hope, with each such wrenching change, is that this time will be different. Maybe, this time, employees will go along meekly and passively, and won't make a fuss. Maybe, for once, management can just drop the changes into place and tiptoe away. Maybe, people won't notice that no respect has been shown‹either for them or for the fact that big changes always create turmoil.
However, people always notice.
The reason people notice is that significant change is a felt experience. How people respond to change is much more an emotional, gut-level experience than a logical, rational experience. Change efforts trigger a panoply of reactions‹eagerness, enthusiasm, and excitement, as well as fear, trepidation, anxiety, uncertainty, anger, and stress‹feelings that are both positive and negative.
Change, after all, signifies an end to something. As Bridges notes in Managing Transitions, "When endings take place, people get angry, sad, frightened, depressed, confused. These emotional states can be mistaken for bad morale, but they aren't. They are the signs of grieving. . . ."
The importance of the grieving process is acknowledged rarely enough in personal circumstances, but it is given recognition even less frequently in the workplace. Yet, grieving is a response not just to death, but also to other kinds of loss: the loss of a job, a role, a team, a location, a specialty, a valued skill, a way of doing work‹the loss, in other words, of a familiar way of life and its attendant safety, certainty, and predictability. People grieve when they have lost something that matters to them. Failure to acknowledge the need to come to terms with change doesn't eliminate that need; in fact, it places a greater burden on those who are trying to cope.
What is to be learned is that if you are in a position to introduce change or manage its impact, then what, when, and how you communicate during the course of that change can dramatically influence the success of the effort. Your challenge‹and this may signify a change for you‹is to communicate with the affected people in a way that acknowledges and respects their reactions, while helping them to accept the change and adjust to it as expeditiously as possible.
Chapter 1: Mind the Gap 3
The Ability to Communicate 6
Why Communication Gaps Are Prevalent 7
Closing the Gaps 9
Key Recommendations 14
Gaps Galore 16
Section 1: Gaps in Everyday Interactions 17
Chapter 2: Getting Through: Responsibilities of the Sender 20
Unnoticed Messages 22
Misstated Messages 26
Missed Messages 28
Cluttered Messages 31
Hidden Messages 35
Off-putting Messages 37
One-Sided Messages 40
Unexplained Messages 41
Conflicting Messages 43
Befuddling Messages 44
Informing and Involving 46
Chapter 3: Misinterpretations: How Messages Cause Confusion 49
Two People Separated by a Common Language 50
Terminology Disconnects 53
Clarify, Clarify, Clarify 68
Chapter 4: Untangling Tangled Interactions: Reaction of the Recipient 73
Let Me Count the Ways 75
Ingredients of an Interaction 76
Intake: Candid Camera, with a Twist 82
Interpretation: Multiple Modified Meanings 85
Feelings: What Happens on the Inside 87
How to Put the Model to Use 92
A Few More Guidelines and Some Words of Caution 100
Section 2: Gaps in Building Relationships 103
Chapter 5: Building a Strong Foundation 106
Working Together, Together 107
Foundation-Building Takes Time and Effort 108
Build the Foundation While Building the House 110
Chapter 6: Appreciating and Benefiting from Communication Differences 135
A Framework for Discussing Communication Preferences 136
Where You Get Your Energy: Extraversion (E) versus
Introversion (I) 138
How You Take In Information: Sensing (S) versus
Intuition (N) 144
How You Make Decisions: Thinking (T) versus Feeling (F) 150
How You Relate to the World: Judging (J) versus
Perceiving (P) 154
It Takes All Kinds 159
Chapter 7: Understanding the Other Party’s Perspective 160
On Using a Perspectoscope 162
Start by Scrapping Your Labels 163
Ponder Factors that Influence Other People’s Behavior 167
A Technique for Considering the Possibilities 167
Observe Possibilities from Different Perspectives 172
Become Truly Empathetic 174
Consider Their Case in Making Yours 177
Try Something Different 190
Chapter 8: The Care and Feeding of Relationships 191
Give Thanks 192
Conduct a Temperature Reading 197
Give Personalized Attention 201
Stay Connected 206
Create Communication Metrics 208
Create Relationship-Tending Roles 211
Section 3: Service Gaps 219
Chapter 9: The Communication of Caring 222
Contributors to Customer Satisfaction 223
Universal Grievances 229
Claims of Caring 246
Chapter 10: Gathering Customer Feedback 250
Three Feedback-Gathering Flaws 252
Asking the Right Questions and Asking the Questions Right 258
When and How to Gather Feedback 268
Act on the Feedback Gathered 272
Perceptual Lags 274
Chapter 11: Service Level Agreements: A Powerful Communication Tool 277
Why an SLA Succeeds or Fails 278
Adapting the Tool 297
Section 4: Change Gaps 299
Chapter 12: The Experience of Change 302
Failure to Communicate 303
The Stages of Response to Change 307
Change Models 309
The Satir Change Model 310
Chaos as Status Quo 322
Chapter 13: Changing How You Communicate During Change 323
Respect the Matter of Timing 324
Expect Individual Differences in Response to Change 325
Allow Time for Adjustment 328
Treat the Old Status Quo with Respect 330
Allow People to Vent 332
Listen Proactively 334
Provide Information and More Information 335
Say Something Even When You Have Nothing to Say 337
Empathize, Empathize, Empathize 338
Choose Your Words Carefully 341
Dare to Show People You Care 343
Involve People in Implementing the Change 344
Educate People About the Experience of Change 345
Deal with It! 345
Chapter 14: On Becoming a Gapologist 347
Posted December 25, 2002
Naomi Karten's current work focuses on how to "mind the gap" between you and your audience. This advice is helpful whether your audience is one person or many, whether communications are in writing or in speech. Her advice goes deeper than the handy techniques she presents. She gives a wider view in analyzing the relationships, the context, and the internal states each of the participants (you the communicator and the listener or reader). Her advice on understanding the other's perspective is a prime example of that depth. While making one's own case is necessary, understanding the other person's perspective is perhaps a more subtle requirement of communications. I found this book not only helpful in my business communications, which the author targets, but also in the range of communications within my own personal life. I recommend this book to all my business colleagues who struggle with the intention of good communciations and the results of poor communications.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.