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The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You're Far Apart

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Whether it's for deployment overseas or cross-country trucking, commuting to "the city" during the week or seizing an opportunity on the other coast, you've found yourself in a commuter marriage. You and your spouse are happily married but suddenly living apart, causing you to worry about what that distance will do to you and to your marriage.

Author and psychotherapist Tina B. Tessina has designed a program to help couples like you survive and thrive in long-distance ...

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The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You're Far Apart

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Overview

Whether it's for deployment overseas or cross-country trucking, commuting to "the city" during the week or seizing an opportunity on the other coast, you've found yourself in a commuter marriage. You and your spouse are happily married but suddenly living apart, causing you to worry about what that distance will do to you and to your marriage.

Author and psychotherapist Tina B. Tessina has designed a program to help couples like you survive and thrive in long-distance relationships. In The Commuter Marriage, Dr. Tessina answers questions you will face about everyday living situations, such as how to:

  • Keep the passion burning
  • Communicate effectively
  • Resolve conflicts
  • Raise healthy kids
  • Overcome jealousy and suspicions
  • Manage your homes
With quizzes, exercises, and real couples' stories from Dr. Tessina's practice, you will see what works-and what doesn't. So, whether the decision to commute is voluntary or mandatory, you and your partner can keep the romance alive, your marriage intact, and your bond even stronger while you are apart!
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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal

While nurturing a marriage isn't easy for any couple, it may be particularly difficult for those in commuter marriages, in which one member may be overseas, helping an infirm parent, or just working long hours. To help these couples, psychotherapist Tessina (Money, Sex, and Kids) has devised solutions to several challenges, including overcoming jealousy, resolving conflicts, raising healthy kids, and keeping the passion alive. Tessina presents her message through real-life stories and exercises, illustrating what works and what doesn't. Simple, helpful, and relevant; recommended for public libraries.
—Deborah Bigelow

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781598694321
  • Publisher: Adams Media
  • Publication date: 4/1/2008
  • Pages: 240
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.44 (h) x 0.62 (d)

Meet the Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., is a featured personals columnist for Yahoo! and other online communities. She is interviewed up to thirty times each month for magazine, newspaper, and online articles, including Redbook, Men's Health, and LHJ.com. Known online as Dr. Romance, The Dating Doctor, and The Love Doctor, she is the resident dating expert on CouplesCompany.com. Dr. Tessina is the author of twelve books, which have been published in sixteen languages. She lives in Long Beach, CA.
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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments     xiii
Introduction: While We Are Absent, One from the Other     xv
Commuter Relationships Are Different     xvi
A Guidebook for Commuter Marriage     xviii
What Is Commuter Marriage and Who's Doing It?     1
About Long-Distance Marriages     2
Your Personal Style of Commuter Marriage     3
Some Possible Scenarios     4
Your Commuter Marriage Situation     17
Commuter Marriage Problems, Questions, and Answers     19
Questions about Commuter Marriage     20
Planning     21
Time, Time Zones, and Time Enough     30
Mistrust and Jealousy     35
Creating Separate Lives     39
Work Distribution, Fairness, and Mutuality     42
Parenting     45
Finances     53
Fighting: Whether Long Distance or at Home     55
Communication and Intimacy in a Commuter Marriage     59
Communicating at a Distance     59
Talking but Not Communicating     66
Maintaining Intimacy     70
Better Sex     75
The Sweetness Factor     77
Reassurance     80
Communicating from a Distance withChildren     83
How to Cope with Transition and Change     87
Transitions in Every Relationship     88
What Transitions Affect Commuter Couples?     91
Reentry-Reconnecting When We Get Together     99
Mastering Intimate Transition     101
Expecting the Unexpected     105
Change and Stress in a Commuter Marriage     113
Handling the Unexpected     113
Free-Floating Anxiety and Stress     114
How Can I Stop Worrying?     119
Letting Go of Anxiety     120
The Worrier's Guidelines     124
Your Internal Relationship: Why Am I so Upset?     128
Stress from Other People     132
Keeping Your Spirits Up     135
Making Smart Decisions and Problem Solving     139
Making Good Decisions     139
SMART Decisions     140
Relationship Maintenance Meetings     148
Make Decisions Together from a Distance     151
How Do We Act on Our Decision?     153
Personal and Emotional Growth in a Commuter Marriage     157
Your Personal Growth as Partners     158
Growth Stages of a Commuter Marriage     163
Building Your Separate Life      165
Developing Internal Companionship     169
Wisdom and Patience     173
How Can We Find Friends and Family Members Who Will Support Us?     175
How Commuter Couples Find Resolution     179
Settling In: Is It OK to Enjoy Being Apart?     180
What Does the Future Hold?     186
Do We Have to Go Through That Change Again?     190
Can Our Marriage Be Better Than It Was Before?     191
Good Times, Bad Times     195
Together At Last!     199
Do We Have to Develop a New Infrastructure?     203
Index     211
About the Author     220

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