Compassion and Self-Hate: An Alternative to Despair

Overview

Free yourself from destructive behavior and learn how to break your patterns of self-hate and achieve personal fulfillment with this sympathetic and practical guide from the author of The Angry Book.

Many of us know that self-destructive patterns are rooted in self-dislike, but few of us understand how to break them. In this wise and compassionate book, bestselling author and eminent psychiatrist Theodore Rubin shows us realistic ways to break these negative mental and emotional...

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Overview

Free yourself from destructive behavior and learn how to break your patterns of self-hate and achieve personal fulfillment with this sympathetic and practical guide from the author of The Angry Book.

Many of us know that self-destructive patterns are rooted in self-dislike, but few of us understand how to break them. In this wise and compassionate book, bestselling author and eminent psychiatrist Theodore Rubin shows us realistic ways to break these negative mental and emotional attitudes and build a strong sense of well-being and self-understanding.

Dr. Rubin looks of how self-hate begins, is sustained, and eventually leads to destructive and defeating behavior—from alcoholism and drug dependency to perfectionism and fear of failure (or success). Offering practical and reassuring advice, he shows that the key to freeing yourself from these restricting emotions and habits is to find and examine the self-hate that generates them, and then to release your innate and powerful capacity for compassion.

This warm, sympathetic, and ultimately practical guide to personal growth and fulfillment is timelier and more helpful than ever.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780684841991
  • Publisher: Touchstone
  • Publication date: 4/28/1998
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 288
  • Sales rank: 477,796
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.25 (h) x 0.70 (d)

Meet the Author

Theodore Isaac Rubin, M.D., has served as president of the American Institute of Psychoanalysis and is the author of thirty books, including The Angry Book, Lisa and David, Jordi, The Winner's Notebook, and Lisa and David Today. His books have been translated all over the world. He lives and practices psychiatry in New York City.

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgements
PART I: AN ALTERNATIVE TO DESPAIR
PART II: SELF-HATE
Self-Hate in Process
How Self-Hate Begins
How Self-Hate Is Sustained
Consciousness and Unconsciousness in Self-Hate
Forms of Self-Hate: Direct
Self-Derision
Self-Derisive Fantasies
Self-Vindictive Criticism
Self-Diminution
Terrorism
Depression
Suicide
Accident Proneness, Psychosomatic Illness and Dangerous Situations
Alcohol, Drugs, Tobacco and Food
Use of Painful Memories and Lists of Crimes and Indiscretions
Use of Other People
Murder
Guilt
Anticipation and Excessive Inappropriate Worrying
Competition and Perfectionism
Gambling
Postponing Decisions
Cheating Oneself of Pleasure
Hating Oneself for Hating Oneself
Forms of Self-Hate: Indirect
Illusions
Illusions Involving Self
Illusions involving Self and Other People
Illusions Involving Self and the Human Condition
The Grand Illusion
Impossible Standards, Unrealistic Goals, Exorbitant Expectations
Boredom
Polarization and Superlatives
Self-Hate as a Way of Life
PART III: COMPASSION
Compassion in Process
Origins of Compassion
Generating Compassion
Forms of Compassion: The Direct Way
Forms of Compassion: The Indirect Way
Destroying illusions
Lowering Standards, Limiting Goals and Reducing Expectations
The Move Against Boredom
Compassionate Shades of Gray
Compassionate Psychophilosophy
Compassion as a Way of Life
I Am Because I Am!
I Am I
I Need, I Want, I Choose
I Am Where I Am
Be Here Now!
The Process Is the Product
I Always Do My Best
Contracts, Consistency, Congruity
No
Participation and Performance
The Right to Die and the Right to Live
Helping to Prevent Self-Destruction
Life Is Tough
PART IV: ON HUMAN TERMS
The Destructive Culture
People, Animals and Ants
Cowardice, Bravery, Courage and Fear
Arrogance, Jealousy, Envy, Paranoia and Generosity, Honesty, Openness and Trust
Prejudice
Winning, Losing, Striving and Resignation
Competition, Equality and Fair Play
Being Cheated, Helplessness, Dependency and Rejection
Recognition
Opportunism
Acquisitiveness
Millionaires
Betrayal
Snobbism
Sadism and Masochism
Fools
Logic, Rationale and Feelings
Moods
Anger
Sadness
Optimism and Pessimism
Dreams and Fantasies
Security and Happiness
Ideal, Pure, Absolute and Perfect
Endurance, Toughness, Fragility
Indebtedness
Subservience and Passivity
Affability and Charm
Self-Control, Restlessness, Anxiety and Insomnia
Humility
Types and Categories
Maturity
Conforming, Popularity, Mastery and Individuality
Involvement and Detachment
Reserve and Gregariousness
Privacy
Temptation and Curiosity
Healthy Narcissism
Uniqueness and Eccentricity
Poets and Artists
Abilities
Pride and Greatness
Problems, Limitations and Compassion
Health, Sickness, Pain, Frustration and Patience
Aging
Surrender and Respite
Convalescence
Social Roles and Relationships
Friendship
Sex
Homosexuality and Sexual Purity
Battle of the Sexes
Love and Marriage
Parenthood
Dependency on Children
Status Quo and Change
Work
Knowledge and Study
Pleasure and Seriousness
Decisions
Pain and Pain-Killers
Alcohol and Tobacco
Politicians and Leaders
Justice
New Beginnings and Continuums
The Great Rehearsal
Chance and Circumstances
Adaptation, Accommodation, Adjustment, Growth and Evolvement
Crisis and Disaster
Joy
Joy: The Reason for Living
Joy: Prejudices Against Joy
Joy: The Mood and Philosophy
Index

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