Complete Confidence Updated Edition: A Handbook

Overview

Confident people react positively and successfully to life's problems and challenges. Those who lack confidence often view themselves as victims—blaming others or bingeing on drugs, sex, food, or alcohol to mask their feelings of shame or worthlessness.

In Complete Confidence, renowned psychotherapist Dr. Sheenah Hankin points the way to a confident life free of self-criticism, anxiety, and immature anger. Her Winning Hand of Comfort technique is a clear, concise, and powerful ...

See more details below
Paperback (Updated Edition)
$12.45
BN.com price
(Save 22%)$15.99 List Price

Pick Up In Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (28) from $1.99   
  • New (11) from $4.74   
  • Used (17) from $1.99   
Complete Confidence Updated Edition

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • NOOK HD/HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK Study
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook - Updated Edition)
$11.49
BN.com price

Overview

Confident people react positively and successfully to life's problems and challenges. Those who lack confidence often view themselves as victims—blaming others or bingeing on drugs, sex, food, or alcohol to mask their feelings of shame or worthlessness.

In Complete Confidence, renowned psychotherapist Dr. Sheenah Hankin points the way to a confident life free of self-criticism, anxiety, and immature anger. Her Winning Hand of Comfort technique is a clear, concise, and powerful prescription for dealing with everyday situations—from resolving conflicts to ending unhealthy habits like overeating, complaining, and procrastinating. This essential handbook will teach you how to retrain your brain to manage your emotions and put your problems into perspective. You will learn how to calm down, clarify your thinking, challenge your blame habit, comfort your negative feelings, and achieve confidence. That is Dr. Hankin's promise.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Everyone wants to be successful in his or her dealings with other people, whether at home or at work. Here, two experts offer different takes on the subject. In Winning Every Time, Wiehl, a top trial lawyer, TV personality, and legal analyst for FOX News, teaches the reader how to use the methods lawyers use during conflict resolution to solve the problems encountered in everyday life. She demonstrates how one can be one's own advocate through the eight steps of trial preparation, which include clarifying one's position, determining the personalities in the audience, preparing for the battle ahead by doing one's homework, and staying in control when presenting one's case. Each chapter is clear and concise, with handy dos and don'ts sprinkled throughout. Wiehl devotes the second half of the book to illustrating how to use these techniques in specific situations, from parenting to consumer negotiating. Much can be gained from leafing through her book. New York psychotherapist Hankin (coauthor, Succeeding with Difficult Clients) takes a different tack and concentrates on one's inner makeup. To her, confidence starts with emotional maturity, a place people arrive at when they give up blame, self-criticism, and self-pity. She discusses the things people do to undermine themselves, such as bingeing, pleasing, whining, avoiding, and thinking negative thoughts. She illustrates each point with interesting case studies and gives readers "workouts" for their particular weaknesses. Unfortunately, the tone is simplistic, and Hankin discusses her own life a little too frequently. Still, she offers sound advice and should appeal to the reader who wants "therapy-lite." Both books have something to offer public libraries. Collections with a wealth of core self-esteem books should try Wiehl's work, while those heavy on assertiveness training and technique books could probably benefit from Hankin's.-Deborah Bigelow, Leonia P.L., NJ Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780061544545
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 7/1/2008
  • Edition description: Updated Edition
  • Edition number: 2
  • Pages: 272
  • Sales rank: 814,633
  • Product dimensions: 5.90 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Named one of New York's most popular psychotherapists by the New York Times Magazine, Sheenah Hankin, Ph.D., is codeveloper of Cognitive Appraisal Therapy and coauthor of Succeeding with Difficult Clients. She has conducted workshops throughout North America and Europe and lives with her husband in New York City.

Read More Show Less

Read an Excerpt

Complete Confidence

A Handbook
By Hankin, Sheenah

ReganBooks

ISBN: 0060096470

Chapter One

Confidence:
The Path to Freedom

To be confident a person must walk a path to freedom, arriving at a place called Emotional Maturity. The people you will meet there are competent, high achievers. Cheerful and calm, they are free of anxiety and depression. They will welcome you, for they are not shy. When annoyed, they will set a good example with their straightforward honesty. They play the game of life with a Winning Hand, and you can join them if you make the journey.

The path to Emotional Maturity can free up everyone's inborn, natural confidence. Like any journey, there is much to gain and some necessary losses. On this pathway to confidence you will discover new ways of thinking and acting, and gain the emotional management skills that are the bedrock of complete confidence.

What you will lose are the immature emotions of childhood and adolescence. Fears of judgment and correction will be gone. There will be no more shaming self-criticism, and no helpless self-pity, for confident people are self-reliant and rarely need help. Instead of feeling guilt about not pleasing other people or resentment about having to please them, you will listen to yourself and do only what you believe to be right and necessary. And to further lighten the burden of emotional immaturity, you'll learn to calm and comfort emotions internally, within the brain, ending dependence on binges and addictions, the insecurity blankets so many people cling to.

"But Sheenah," you might ask (my clients call me by my first name and I hope you will, too), "this is some promise you are making. Is it mere psychobabble?" Good question. Let me answer it. Notice how you are dissuading rather than encouraging yourself to try. Realize how your doubts about our confidence project are built on dark predictions of disappointment and failure. If you see success as unlikely or even impossible, you undermine your confidence.

Begin now by fighting against any tendency that will undermine your effort. "This won't work." "I've tried before and failed." "This book is probably just the same old self-help stuff." "People can't change." These ideas are self-defeating, and in a way self-pitying and humiliating. You are not so powerless.

Instead, listen to the opportunity knocking at your door right now. It's not the sweepstakes guy ready to hand you a check for a million dollars. This is an opportunity that doesn't require any luck or good fortune. The Winning Hand knocks on your door. I stand waiting with my hand outstretched to take yours and walk forward into confidence and success. Confidence is worth more than a million dollars, so make the effort for yourself.

Hold out your hands and marvel at how much they do for you. They protect you when you fall. They feed you. They hold the hands of those you love. They massage, caress, and arouse. They wave good-bye.

You have a hand in your own troubles, too. So, as you hold your hands in front of you, look hard at your fingers. They can also poke and point in criticism and accusation at others and yourself.

The mission of this book is to enable you to take yourself in hand.

I can help you gain the confidence you need to retire your Losing Hand. Playing with a Winning Hand means you will activate every talent you have, eagerly take every opportunity you are given, and calmly solve every problem you face.

It is time to stop blaming yourself and others, to stop pointing a finger at the flaws you falsely perceive as preventing you from living a successful life, to stop generating shame and self-pity. It is time to give up the habits of a loser, and to think and act like a winner.

Partners in Confidence

Partners starting a business sign a contract. As my future partner, please read this contract carefully before you sign it.

"But Sheenah," you ask, "why should I trust you? I haven't even met you." If you want to know more about me before signing the contract, first read the next section. I hope you will then agree to be my partner in confidence.

The Commitment to Confidence Contract

  1. I will read Complete Confidence from beginning to end.
  2. I will practice all the strategies and behaviors that are required for a confident life, and repeat them over and over again so that I can learn to become confident. (People learn by rehearsal.)
  3. I will be very persistent because it is not intelligence, money, or good luck that leads to success; it is persistence.
  4. I will have faith that I can learn to be more confident. I will not listen to my feelings if they make me feel that I will fail.
  5. I will begin to read Complete Confidence today and I will set time aside every day until I finish it -- I will not put off this project.

I commit to the aforementioned conditions:




Your Signature/Date

I, Sheenah Hankin, commit to being your partner. I promise that the methods I describe in my book work when you fulfill your commitment, which I trust that you will.

Your partner:
Sheenah Hankin

Meet Sheenah, Your Partner in Confidence

Unlike therapists who reveal nothing about themselves, I prefer the openness of self-disclosure. So, I'll tell you a little about myself. In my busy practice in New York, I invite every client to ask me personal questions, for people are usually curious about shrinks. What are their private lives like? Are they secretly nuts like those depicted in the movies and on television? Do they have children? How do their children and marriages turn out? Are they obsessed with sex? Are they competent and confident? Do they have enough professional and reallife experience to be helpful?

Continues...

Excerpted from Complete Confidence by Hankin, Sheenah Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Read More Show Less

First Chapter

Complete Confidence
A Handbook

Chapter One

Confidence:
The Path to Freedom

To be confident a person must walk a path to freedom, arriving at a place called Emotional Maturity. The people you will meet there are competent, high achievers. Cheerful and calm, they are free of anxiety and depression. They will welcome you, for they are not shy. When annoyed, they will set a good example with their straightforward honesty. They play the game of life with a Winning Hand, and you can join them if you make the journey.

The path to Emotional Maturity can free up everyone's inborn, natural confidence. Like any journey, there is much to gain and some necessary losses. On this pathway to confidence you will discover new ways of thinking and acting, and gain the emotional management skills that are the bedrock of complete confidence.

What you will lose are the immature emotions of childhood and adolescence. Fears of judgment and correction will be gone. There will be no more shaming self-criticism, and no helpless self-pity, for confident people are self-reliant and rarely need help. Instead of feeling guilt about not pleasing other people or resentment about having to please them, you will listen to yourself and do only what you believe to be right and necessary. And to further lighten the burden of emotional immaturity, you'll learn to calm and comfort emotions internally, within the brain, ending dependence on binges and addictions, the insecurity blankets so many people cling to.

"But Sheenah," you might ask (my clients call me by my first name and I hope you will, too), "this is some promise you are making. Is it mere psychobabble?" Good question. Let me answer it. Notice how you are dissuading rather than encouraging yourself to try. Realize how your doubts about our confidence project are built on dark predictions of disappointment and failure. If you see success as unlikely or even impossible, you undermine your confidence.

Begin now by fighting against any tendency that will undermine your effort. "This won't work." "I've tried before and failed." "This book is probably just the same old self-help stuff." "People can't change." These ideas are self-defeating, and in a way self-pitying and humiliating. You are not so powerless.

Instead, listen to the opportunity knocking at your door right now. It's not the sweepstakes guy ready to hand you a check for a million dollars. This is an opportunity that doesn't require any luck or good fortune. The Winning Hand knocks on your door. I stand waiting with my hand outstretched to take yours and walk forward into confidence and success. Confidence is worth more than a million dollars, so make the effort for yourself.

Hold out your hands and marvel at how much they do for you. They protect you when you fall. They feed you. They hold the hands of those you love. They massage, caress, and arouse. They wave good-bye.

You have a hand in your own troubles, too. So, as you hold your hands in front of you, look hard at your fingers. They can also poke and point in criticism and accusation at others and yourself.

The mission of this book is to enable you to take yourself in hand.

I can help you gain the confidence you need to retire your Losing Hand. Playing with a Winning Hand means you will activate every talent you have, eagerly take every opportunity you are given, and calmly solve every problem you face.

It is time to stop blaming yourself and others, to stop pointing a finger at the flaws you falsely perceive as preventing you from living a successful life, to stop generating shame and self-pity. It is time to give up the habits of a loser, and to think and act like a winner.

Partners in Confidence

Partners starting a business sign a contract. As my future partner, please read this contract carefully before you sign it.

"But Sheenah," you ask, "why should I trust you? I haven't even met you." If you want to know more about me before signing the contract, first read the next section. I hope you will then agree to be my partner in confidence.

The Commitment to Confidence Contract

  1. I will read Complete Confidence from beginning to end.
  2. I will practice all the strategies and behaviors that are required for a confident life, and repeat them over and over again so that I can learn to become confident. (People learn by rehearsal.)
  3. I will be very persistent because it is not intelligence, money, or good luck that leads to success; it is persistence.
  4. I will have faith that I can learn to be more confident. I will not listen to my feelings if they make me feel that I will fail.
  5. I will begin to read Complete Confidence today and I will set time aside every day until I finish it -- I will not put off this project.

I commit to the aforementioned conditions:




Your Signature/Date

I, Sheenah Hankin, commit to being your partner. I promise that the methods I describe in my book work when you fulfill your commitment, which I trust that you will.

Your partner:
Sheenah Hankin

Meet Sheenah, Your Partner in Confidence

Unlike therapists who reveal nothing about themselves, I prefer the openness of self-disclosure. So, I'll tell you a little about myself. In my busy practice in New York, I invite every client to ask me personal questions, for people are usually curious about shrinks. What are their private lives like? Are they secretly nuts like those depicted in the movies and on television? Do they have children? How do their children and marriages turn out? Are they obsessed with sex? Are they competent and confident? Do they have enough professional and reallife experience to be helpful?

Complete Confidence
A Handbook
. Copyright © by Sheenah Hankin. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews
  • Posted February 29, 2012

    Query

    No training in psychology? So where is this Internation University located from where she claims a Ph.D.? I agree on the not footnotes comment too. Thanks for that.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 28, 2012

    Intellectually thin

    Unfortunately the author does not have real training in psychology. The book is very general and has no clinical research to back up its claims. Could we have at least one footnote please?
    Nice off the shelf book by a media personality.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 21, 2010

    For very low confident people

    I didnt get much from this book. It is best for people that have about 1% of confidence, not for those hoping to advance their confidence in any way. For me, it is a waste of my money!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 29, 2009

    This book had a huge impact on me

    I bought this book after once again failing to stand my ground during a disagreement, feeling like a 10 year old child. Sheenah's book helped me to understand why so many of my actions and thoughts were harmful to my well being. Then in a precise way gave me insight and tools to deal with so many of the destructive emotional habits that have been second nature for me and to challenge and then change them. I am far more confident now than I was before reading her book and it has changed my life. Complete Confidence is a treasure and it is a true handbook that I will use untill I have mastered the journey to confidence. I strongly recommend it. You will not be disappointed.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 24, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted March 20, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)