The Complete Idiot's Guide to a Healthy Relationship, 2nd Edition


You?re no idiot, of course. You know every moment you spend with your significant other can?t always be wine and roses. However, when couples are distracted by life?s obstacles, it can be difficult to remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place.

Don?t let your love life drift into dull duties and familiar routines! The Complete Idiot?s to a Healthy Relationship, Second Edition, shows you exactly how to forge a solid, ...

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You’re no idiot, of course. You know every moment you spend with your significant other can’t always be wine and roses. However, when couples are distracted by life’s obstacles, it can be difficult to remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place.

Don’t let your love life drift into dull duties and familiar routines! The Complete Idiot’s to a Healthy Relationship, Second Edition, shows you exactly how to forge a solid, secure bond with your partner. In this newly updated and revised Complete Idiot’s , you get:

  • The signs of a healthy relationship—to see if you have one.
  • The four “Cs” beneficial to every relationship—compatibility, cooperation, communication, and commitment.
  • The eight dimensions of love, including new information on spirituality and technology.
  • Tips on how to handle the daily surprises and stresses that can disrupt your relationship.
  • Advice on renewing your commitment in the aftermath of an affair.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780028642062
  • Publisher: Alpha Books
  • Publication date: 7/12/2001
  • Series: Complete Idiot's Guide Series
  • Edition number: 2
  • Pages: 432
  • Sales rank: 941,302
  • Product dimensions: 7.46 (w) x 9.21 (h) x 0.93 (d)

Meet the Author

Dr. Judy Kuriansky, or “Dr. Judy,” is a clinical psychologist, sex therapist, and media personality. A pioneer of radio advice talk, she hosts the call-in show LovePhones, based in New York and syndicated across the U.S. She has appeared on such TV programs as Larry King Live, 48 Hours, Oprah, and CNN TalkBack Live, and is also the author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex, and The Complete Idiot’s Guide to a Healthy Relationship.

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Table of Contents


1. What Makes a Relationship Healthy?
A New Buzzword for the New Millennium. When It's Not Healthy. When It's Healthy. The Importance of Agreements. Being a Team Player. The “Is It Healthy?” Quiz. The Ten Commandments of a Healthy Relationship. A Concept Whose Time Has Come Regarding a Healthy Relationship in the New Millennium.

2. The Seventh Dimension of a Healthy Relationship: Spiritual Love.
What Is “Spirit” to You? The Time Is Right. The Alternative Has Become Mainstream. You Gotta Have Heart. A Test of Spirit. The Secret of Breathing Your Way to a Healthy Relationship. Connecting to Your Own Soul First. The Third Eye. Getting the Energetics to Flow between You. The Ritual of Love. Letting Go in Love: A Spiritual View of Loss. Putting It All Together.

3. The Eighth Dimension of a Healthy Relationship: Digital Duos in Cyberlove.
Keeping in Technological Touch. When Only One of You Is a Techie. Cybersex. Cybercheating.

4. Is It True Love?
What Is This Thing Called Love? Is This the Real Thing? The Five Requirements. A Good First—and Lasting—Impression. It's Time for a Love Inventory. Too Good to Be True? Intimacy Junkies, Love Junkies, Sex Junkies. Learning How to Love.

5. So, You're a Couple—but Are You Friends?
Can LoversReally Be Friends? Can Friends Really Become Lovers? How Good a Friend Is Your Lover? The Ten True Tests of Friendship. How Friendship Changes as Love Grows. When It's Either/Or.

6. The Importance of Matching Your Love Styles.
“How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways…” . Resolving Love Style Conflicts. Are You a Giver or a Taker?


7.A Healthy Self First.
Building Up Your Confidence. Are You Fit for Love? Time for an Attitude Adjustment. Your Love Script. Are You Scared?—Face Your Fears.

8. Are We Compatible?
What Is Compatibility? The Twelve Major Areas of Compatibility. How Compatible Are You? What Are the Big Compatibility Roadblocks? Sex Drive. Cultural Clash. Religious Rights. Family Matters. Age Gaps. Expressions of Affection. Five Ways to Handle Compatibility Roadblocks. Other Trouble Spots. Bad Habits.

9. Cooperation—Whose Team Are You On?
What Is Cooperation? The Seven Main Areas of Cooperation. How Well Do You and Your Mate Cooperate with Each Other? Cooperation Problems and Solutions. A Major Cooperation Impediment: Gender-Based Stereotypes. Call a Chore War Truce. Save Competition for the Ring.

10. Communication—Can We Talk?
The Importance of Communication. Communication Techniques. Eight Communication Don'ts. When a Mate Won't Talk. Talking About Sex.

11. Commitment—Warming Up Cold Feet.
The Nature of Commitment. Are You and Your Partner Ready to Commit? Terms of Commitment. Talking About Commitment. When Commitment Becomes a One-Way Street. Timing Is Key. Making the Dreaded Ultimatum. Four Major Commitment Mistakes. Long-Distance Love: When Separations Threaten Commitment.


12. Making the Honeymoon Last.
Keep Dating! Rule Three: Make Time. What to Do Together. Staying In. Having Fun Right in Your Own Backyard. On the Go. Going Back to School. Business and Pleasure. Improving Yourselves and Each Other.

13. Resurrecting Romance.
The Importance of Keeping Romance Alive. The Real Meaning of Romance. The Four “F” Words of Romance. Are Time and Distance Romance-Ruiners? Keeping Romance Alive with Kids Around.

14. The Art of Seduction.
Seduction in Healthy, Lasting Relationships. Heightening Your Senses. Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge: How to Flirt with Your Partner. Sensuous Suppers and Other Seductive Feasts. How to Pillow Talk. The Seductive Power of Being in Shape.

15. How Important Is Sex?
The Waiting Game: When's the Right Time? Why Sex Is Good for You. Why Sex Is Good for Your Relationship. Sexual Chemistry. What Men and Women Really Want.

16. What's Healthy Sex for Couples?
Making Decisions About Sex. Four Different Approaches to Sex. The Ultimate Decision: Safe Sex and Contraception.

17. Keeping the Sex Fires Burning.
A Question of Timing. Variety Is the Spice of Good Sex. Sex Fantasies. How to Negotiate for Better Sex. Getting over Inhibitions.


18. Preventing Love Burnout.
What Is Love Burnout? Overcoming Boredom. Make More Time for Love.

19. Ghost-Busting Your Relationship.
Uncovering Your Love Ghosts. Family Love Ghost Scripts. You and Your Shadows: Ghost-Busting Your Love Life.

20. Dollars and Sense: A Healthy Couple's Guide to Handling Money Issues.
Sex, Love, and Calculator Tape. Tracing the Roots of Money Matters. For Love or Money? What to Say When Money Talks.

21. Working Nine to… with Time Off for Love.
Do What You Love. Married to the Job. All Play and No Work. Mixing Business and Love. Bringing a Bad Day Home. What Works in the Boardroom May or May Not Work in the Bedroom.

22. Offering Constructive Criticism.
“I'm Saying This for Your Own Good…<170). Giving Criticism. How to Receive Criticism. Sexual Criticism. Toxic Criticism. Criticizing Yourself.

23. Time Out on Fighting.
Preventing Blow-Ups. Lessons in Love from Fighting. “I Gotcha!” : Using Smokescreens to Win Control Battles. Preventing Mountains from Growing Out of Molehills. Using Truth as a Weapon. Can Fights Fuel Sex? Twelve Ways to Stop Fights Before They Start.

24. Affairs: How to Stay After One of You Strays.
Perceived Betrayals: Is Flirting Harmless? Signs of Cheating. Cybercheating. Rules for Confronting an Affair. Why We Cheat. Relationship Recovery. The Affair Survival Checklist.

25. Dealing with Crises as a Couple.
Five Expected Reactions. When Sickness Strikes. The Four F's to Deal with Health Crises. Ups and Downs: Handling Emotional Problems Together. Family Illnesses. Crises with Children. The Mid-Life Crisis.

26. It's Not Just the Two of Us.
The Importance of Family. When Parents Love or Hate Your Love. The Enmeshed Family. How Kids and Other Family Members Figure Into Your Love Life. Figuring Friends into Your Relationship. How Past Loves Figure Into Your Present Love. How Pet Love Affects Your Love Life.


27. S/He's the One for Me!
Moving in Together. Getting Engaged. Saying “I Do” . Going Ahead with the Wedding Bells. The Honeymoon. Starting a Family. Remarrying an Ex.

28. Keeping Your Love Exciting with New-Millennium Body and Mind Techniques.
Starting with the Basics—the Joy of Exercise. Inner Guidance on Sex. Magnetic Love. Laying on of Love Hands. Mutual Meditation. Massage. Acupressure for Lovers. Reflexology. Aromatherapy. Making Beautiful Music Together. Toning. Love Molding. Feng Shui. Past Lives.

29. Helping Each Other Toward a Healthier Relationship.
Self-Help. Communication Workshops. When to Go for Therapy. Couples Counseling. Couples Therapy. Does Couples Counseling Work? Couples Sex Therapy. Newer Alternative and Nontraditional Sources of Therapy.

Appendix A: Answers to the “Is It Healthy?” Quiz in Chapter 1.

Appendix B: Answers to the “Is It Healthy?” Sex Quiz in Chapter 16.
Appendix C: Resources.
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