The Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption

Let¿s not be idiots.

I admire any author who compiles as overwhelming an amount of information as this book and also makes the book fun to read with its various insets and short, punchy chapters. But let¿s not be idiots. With this amount of information there are bound to be omissions or gross generalizations that the would-be adoptive parents should be cautious about. For example, Idiot¿s tells us that ¿Sometimes you may be paying for the birthmother¿s living expenses or her medical expenses, too. But you are not paying for your child¿ (p. 25) I can¿t help chiming in on this one. Adoption is now the largest unregulated industry in the U.S. An industry analysis of Fertility Clinics and Adoption Services by Marketdata Enterprises of Tampa, Florida, has placed a $1.4 billion value on adoption services in the U.S., with a projected annual growth rate of 11.5% to 2004. Religious agencies charge from a few hundred dollars to $10,000 or more; non-denominational private agencies charge $10,000 to $20,000; independent (private) adoption costs a few thousand dollars to $50,000, public agencies charge nothing, except attorney fees to finalize adoption. Color plays a major role in adoption. White infants cost as much as $50,000 in prominent and elite agencies. A child from China costs $18,000, from Vietnam $22,000, from Russia $14,000 and an African-American costs $8,000. While the baby-sales flourish in cyberspace, there are plenty of places on terra firma where they flourish, too. Marketdata¿s analysis describes adoptions as ¿complex, and stories of unscrupulous operators abound in this loosely regulated field.¿ Yes, you¿re paying for your child. Adamec paints a rosy picture of adoption. ¿Most adopted children grow up healthy and well-adjusted. . . most real-life adoptions are positive¿ (p. 15)¿ Adamec need not have made this broad-brush statement in order to be supportive of prospective adoptive parents. There exist data showing consistent negative trends in adoption mental health and well-being. The 1996 Search Institute review of the Growing Up Adopted study is devastating news for all members in the adoption triad and cause for serious reflection. This study was the largest research ever conducted of adoptive families in the U.S., involving 715 families (1,262 parents, 881 adolescents who were adopted as infants between 1974 and 1980 in closed practices, and 78 non-adopted siblings). If you are interested in the alarming results look up Sheridan, Tim (Foreword). ¿Relatedness Deprivation: A Review of The Search Institute Study of Adopted Adolescents and Non Adopted Siblings.¿ August 1996. Last edited 11/2001. On-line: http://www.netaxs.com/~sparky/adoption/sir.htm. But prospective adoptive parents should not be discouraged by alarming data. Proceed carefully and with as much knowledge as possible. Our own adoption continues to be a very positive experience (including with our birthmother), and I know several adoptive families who too are happy and have well-adjusted children. Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?

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