The Complete Idiot's Guide to Verbal Self-Defense

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Overview

You're no idiot, of course. You know it's unhealthy to obsess about a waiter's insulting remarks, and you're tired of hearing your "best friend" remind you of your shortcomings. But when it comes to actually confronting the verbal bullies in your life, you feel like your yellow streak has turned into stripes. Don't swallow your pride just yet! The Complete Idiot's Guide to Verbal Self-Defense, by best-selling author Dr. Lillian Glass, shows you how to take control of the situation. In this Complete Idiot's Guide,...

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The Complete Idiot's Guide to Verbal Self Defense

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Overview

You're no idiot, of course. You know it's unhealthy to obsess about a waiter's insulting remarks, and you're tired of hearing your "best friend" remind you of your shortcomings. But when it comes to actually confronting the verbal bullies in your life, you feel like your yellow streak has turned into stripes. Don't swallow your pride just yet! The Complete Idiot's Guide to Verbal Self-Defense, by best-selling author Dr. Lillian Glass, shows you how to take control of the situation. In this Complete Idiot's Guide, you get:

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780028627410
  • Publisher: DK
  • Publication date: 7/7/1999
  • Series: Complete Idiot's Guide Series
  • Pages: 368
  • Product dimensions: 7.44 (w) x 9.24 (h) x 0.90 (d)

Table of Contents

Part 1 Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent 1
1 Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent 3
Stop, Look, and Listen--Sizing Up Your Opponent 3
Reading Between the Lines 5
Telltale Mouth 10
Body Talk 11
Listening Between the Lines 13
2 Knowing When You've Been Verbally Zapped 19
What Are They Really Saying to You? 19
Warning! You've Been Exposed to a Verbal Health Hazard 23
Ouch, It Hurts! The Physical Pain of Verbal Abuse 27
3 Verbal Abusers Are Losers 33
Categorizing the Verbal Abuser 33
Level One Abusers 34
Level Two Abusers 40
4 Verbal Murder--How and Why? 47
What Is Verbal Murder? 47
Who Are Verbal Murderers? 47
Why Does Verbal Murder Happen? 50
Unconscious Reasons for Verbal Murder 50
Conscious Reasons for Verbal Murder 53
Consequences of Being a Verbal Murderer 57
Consequences of Being Verbally Murdered 57
Part 2 Preparing to Verbally Defend Yourself 59
5 Analyzing Your Strengths and Weaknesses 61
How Others See You Does Matter! 61
How Do You Come Across to Others? 62
Equipment You Need to Objectively Examine Yourself 65
Getting Emotionally Naked 67
Stand Up and Walk the Walk! 68
Ouch! My Ears Hurt Listening to You! 74
6 Gaining the Physical Edge 79
Postural Defense--Staking Out Your Presence 80
Walk Up! 81
Sit Up! 82
Uptight? Lighten Up! 82
Up in Arms! 83
Hands Up! 83
Shake Up! 84
Touch Up! 85
Face Up! 86
Charming, Disarming Smile 87
Kissin' Up! 87
Slipping Up or Messing Up? It All Adds Up and You End Up...! 88
7 Gaining the Verbal Advantage 91
Defensive Breathing 92
Vocal Defense 95
Stop Turning Me Off! 98
Tasting Your Sounds 101
Demolishing Disgusting Habits 102
8 Communication Skill Defense 105
Who in the World Are You? 105
Keys to Gaining the Upper Hand 109
Tactics Used to Promote Verbal Peace with Others 112
9 Confident Conversation 117
The Real Secret of Talking to Anyone 117
Understanding the Four Steps of Confident Conversation 118
Confident Pre-Conversation 118
Initiating a Confident Conversation 121
Maintaining a Confident Conversation 121
It's Over--I Wanna Go Now 127
Part 3 Verbal Defense Strategies to Use in Combat 129
10 Verbal Defense Strategies 131
Entering the Verbal Combat Zone 131
Imaginary Conversation Strategy 132
Make a Choice and Make It Now 136
11 Letting Them Know They've Overstepped Their Verbal Boundaries 139
Silent, Expressionless, Blank Stare 139
The Look of Disgust Strategy 141
Let It Go--Breathe and Blow Strategy 142
Calm, Calculating, Questioning Strategy--Like Columbo 143
The Naked Truth Strategy 144
"The Joke's on You"--Funny Bone Strategy 145
Love 'Em Up Strategy 146
12 When More Powerful Weaponry Is Needed 151
Never Walk Away When You Have Something to Say! 151
Verbally Setting Firm Limits 153
Strategy of Loud Verbal Explosions! 155
Fight Clean and Fair! 155
Fantasy Strategy--an Alternative to Physical Violence 157
Verbally Mirroring the Foe Strategy 158
"Give 'Em Hell and Yell" Strategy 160
13 Enough Is Enough! Knowing When to Retreat 161
Three Strikes and You're Out! 162
You Finally Got the Message! 165
Throwaways 166
When You're on the Verbal Merry-Go-Round 169
Part 4 Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life 173
14 Gaining the Winning Verbal Edge Between the Sexes 175
What's the Real Deal? 176
Learning to Be Bilingual 176
Once Upon a Time There Was an Infant Boy and Girl 177
There's Only One Brain! 177
What Shall We Talk About? 178
He Says--She Thinks! She Says--He Thinks! 178
He Says--He Means! She Says--She Means! 181
Oh! So That's What You Meant! 183
See What I Mean? 186
Saving You a Lot of Grief! 188
15 Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water! 191
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Parents 191
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Siblings 193
Verbal Defense with Teens 194
Verbal Defense with School-Aged Kids 197
Verbal Defense with Pre-Schoolers 198
16 Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life 203
Verbal Self-Defense Techniques for Various Groups 203
Verbally Toxic Employers 212
Verbal Medical and Dental Disasters 213
Part 5 Verbal Combat Against Verbal Abusers 215
17 Verbal Combat Against Annoying Verbal Abusers 217
Mumble Jumble 217
Sonic Boomers! 218
Meek, Weak, and Squeak 219
Baby-Voiced and Cutsie-Wootsie 219
Where to Direct a Person with an Annoying Voice 221
The Monotonous Drone 222
The Fast Talker 223
Name-Dropper 223
The Know-It-All 224
SlangGangers 225
Conversation Hogs 226
Repeat, Repeating, Repeaters 226
Wordy Ones 227
The Whiner 227
18 Verbal Combat Against Painful Verbal Abusers 229
Verbal Abuse Can Actually Make You Nauseous! 229
The Verbally Dead 230
Verbal Vomiters 231
Sugary Sweet Phonies 232
Poor-Poor Me 233
"Fibbers" 234
*%#&@ Cussers! 234
Me, Me, Me 235
The Anointed One Has Spoken! 236
19 Verbal Combat Against Dangerous Verbal Abusers 239
Proceed with Extreme Caution! 239
Lambs to Lions 240
Control Freaks 240
Backstabbing Enviers 241
Hitting-Below-the-Belt Abusers 242
Verbal Interrogators 243
Fanatics and Zealots 244
Yes-Yes Do-Nothings 245
The Mentally/Verbally Disturbed 247
Racist, Sexist, Verbal Xenophobes 248
Verbal Lumberjacks 249
Nosybodies 250
Part 6 Dodging Verbal Bullets in Specific Battlefields 253
20 Verbal Defense over the Telephone 255
Pesky Persistent Telephone Sales Calls 256
Slick Willy 257
Unhelpful Helpers 257
Go Ahead--Blame It on the Phone! 258
I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go! 260
I Got Your Machine! You Sound Silly! 261
Phone Munching 262
Choose--Them or Me? 263
A Return Call Would Be Nice! 264
Stop Calling Already! 264
21 Verbal Self-Defense in Sticky Situations 267
I'm So Humiliated! 268
You Don't Like Me! You Really Don't Like Me! 270
Please, I Beg You, Please Don't Tell Them That! 273
There Are No Representatives in This House of Speakers! 273
Hey! Butt Out! 274
You're Really Nice After All! 274
You Said What About Me? 274
Keep Your Opinions to Yourself! 275
Are You Mute or Something? 275
Stop Kvetching Already! 276
Speaking in Different Languages 276
What Am I, a Bank? 277
What Part of the Word "No" Don't You Understand? 277
Tactfully Telling Someone About Body Odor 277
Someone Who Never Gets the Bill 278
22 Verbal Self-Defense in More Difficult Situations 281
Breaking the Bad News 281
You're Not the Only One! 282
Talking to the Grieving 283
Dying with Love! 283
Gotcha! 284
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire! I'll Never Admit I'm a Liar! 285
Sweet Talkin' "Ear Candy" 285
Sexually and Racially Incorrect 286
Come On! Just a Little Bite! 287
Enough About My Weight Already! 287
That's My Friend You're Talking About! 287
You Don't Know What You're Talking About! 288
Talking to Those with Speaking Challenges 288
Talking to Those with Hearing Challenges 289
Talking to the Physically Challenged 289
Talking to the Mentally Ill 289
No--Not You! 290
I Admit It! I Did It! 290
Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover! 291
23 Verbal Self-Defense Can Save Your Life! 293
Listen for Verbal Red Flags! 294
What You Hear Is Not Always What You Get! 294
Listening Between the Lines 295
Put a Lid on It! 295
I Wouldn't Mouth Off If I Were You! 296
Your Speech Is a Loaded Gun 296
Road Rage! Theater Rage! Outrage! 297
SHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 298
I Said no Talkin'!! 298
Reason Before You Start Teasin' 299
Tones Can Kill 299
You're OK, I'm OK. OK, You're OK 300
Non-Words Can Kill 300
Your Mouth Can Save Your Life 301
Verbal Kicks, Vocal Chops, Tonal Blocks 301
Be Nice! 301
To Catch a Thief! 302
Rape 302
Date Rape 303
Sex Talk--Before It Gets Too Hot to Handle! 303
Wear a What? 304
24 Verbally Defending YOU Against YOU! 307
What Did You Say? That's What They Think! 308
Verbalize! No Complaints! Fix What You Hate! 308
Never Let the "Cat Get Your Tongue" 309
Observe What You Say to Potential Verbal Spies! 310
Loose Lips Sink Ships! 310
Losing the Verbal War by Trashing Your Family! 311
Winning by Letting It Leak! 312
Losing the Verbal Battle by Recycling the Word 312
Verbal Defeat Through Verbal Ecstasy--Why Tellin' All Feels Soooo Good! 313
Don't Blame! Extinguish the Flame! 314
Making Amends Verbally 314
No More Verbal Hypocrisy--a Clean Battlefield 315
Winning the War Through Verbal Gifts! 316
Appendixes
A Resources 319
References for Speech Pathologists 319
B To Order Dr Glass's Products 323
References for Psychological Services 323
Index 325
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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 7, 2002

    Eck

    Not something you would really want to read. Just borrow it. Don't buy it. I bought mine, read it twice and never touched it again. I think it's a waste of my money.

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