Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl: On Her Journey From Neediness to Freedom (True Woman) [NOOK Book]


Trust God with your love life . . . and buckle up for the ride!


I was ten when I first wrote about a boy in my journal. It didn't seem to matter that his last name was Roach or that he came in and out of my life one short afternoon. He wasn't the first boy I noticed-or the last. Over the years, my "cute, innocent crushes" became more and more frequent-and more and more costly.

When I tried to fix ...

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Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl: On Her Journey From Neediness to Freedom (True Woman)

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Trust God with your love life . . . and buckle up for the ride!


I was ten when I first wrote about a boy in my journal. It didn't seem to matter that his last name was Roach or that he came in and out of my life one short afternoon. He wasn't the first boy I noticed-or the last. Over the years, my "cute, innocent crushes" became more and more frequent-and more and more costly.

When I tried to fix myself, it was like slapping a flimsy Band-AidTM on a deep, gaping wound. Then I prayed a desperate prayer: that God would free me from my idols and teach me to trust Him with my love life.

I don't know what I expected, but it certainly wasn't the punch to my gut that left me reeling and my world spinning out of control. But I'm getting ahead of myself . . .

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

"Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl is about a girl who is looking to God to help guide her with her love life. Each chapter has some advice on the situation as well as her relating everything to her own life and being boy-crazy.  There are also bible passages related to the topic and the first chapter ends with a quiz! (my favorite) And each chapter has an area for you to journal. (Turns out after chapter 1 I found I am indeed boy-crazy. Oh. Wait. I didn't need a book to tell me that!)

This book is geared more for girls in their teens but honestly I think there are women of all ages who this book would help!  It is all about being you for you and not worrying about what others think of you or say about you (certainly easier said than done!) and should really get you feeling positive about yourself.  When you see Paula's journal entries you will realize that you are not alone and not only did Paula go through it all before - everyone probably did!  But now you can learn from what Paula learned with hopefully not having to go through it all yourself."

_Katie Wanta, posted on Net Galley August 10, 2013

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780802485168
  • Publisher: Moody Publishers
  • Publication date: 8/26/2013
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Edition description: New Edition
  • Pages: 160
  • Sales rank: 508,154
  • File size: 4 MB

Meet the Author

PAULA HENDRICKS lives in southwest Michigan where she no longer tries to catch guys' attention by swallowing live goldfish, arm wrestling, and jumping down flights of stairs. Instead, she blogs for teen girls and women by day and journals her adventures by night. Meanwhile, she's still on the hunt for the perfect hiding place for her 30+ journals.
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Read an Excerpt

confessions of a boy-crazy girl


By paula hendricks, Lydia Brownback

Moody Publishers

Copyright © 2013 Paula Hendricks
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-8024-0750-4


the prayer that rocked my world

It was a desperate prayer I prayed that fall—that God would free me from my idols and teach me to trust Him with my love life. I don't know what I expected, but it certainly wasn't a punch to my gut that left me reeling with shock and my whole world spinning out of control. To say I didn't see it coming would be the understatement of the year. Had I known how God would answer my prayer, I'm not sure I would have had the courage to pray it.

While the light fixtures swung, the walls did the tango, and the evidence mocked, "Your God has purposefully been cruel to you," deep down I knew the truth. This blow was a severe mercy. Yes, it hurt—hurt so bad my tears didn't dry up for months—but I also knew God was answering my prayer in a way that would ultimately bring healing and freedom.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I Want Off!

The reason I prayed this bold prayer was that I wanted off my merry-go-round ride that never stopped its perpetual spinning. It went something like this:

1. Spot a cute boy (we'll call him Boy A).

2. Dream about Boy A.

3. Do whatever it takes to make Boy A notice me.

4. Even though Boy A doesn't pursue me, hang on to my dream of Boy A until he (a) moves to the North Pole with no access to a cell phone or computer, (b) dies and is buried or cremated, or (c) begins dating another girl.

5. Mend my broken heart by hating Boy A and finding another cute boy (Boy B).

6. Replace Boy A with Boy B.

7. Dream about Boy B.

8. Make sure Boy B notices me.

9. Hang on to my dream of Boy B until he ...

10. Move on to another cute boy—Boy C.

The truth is, I went through an entire alphabet—and more—of boys over the years.

Early Beginnings

I was ten years old when I first wrote about a boy in my journal. It didn't seem to matter that his last name was Roach, or that he came in and out of my life one short afternoon. I wrote, "Dear Diary, today I really got to know Nick Roach! I really like him! I wouldn't ever tell him that!"

Nick Roach wasn't the first boy I noticed. A couple of years earlier I had lain in bed night after night praying, "God, please let me marry Chadwick Chandler Chadderdon. Please let me marry Chadwick Chandler Chadderdon." (If you like tongue twisters, try that one on for size!) I don't remember much about Chadwick, except that he had blond hair, lived on a farm, and was in my Sunday school class.

As the years passed, my "cute, innocent crushes" became more and more frequent—and more and more costly.

But it didn't look that way at first. In high school, my friends thought I was hilarious because I'd pretend I was in love with the most unpopular guys in school. We nicknamed one guy Jello (because of the way his stomach jiggled), and we sent notes back and forth laughing about how much I liked Jello.

If my friends and I had known where my boy craziness would take me, though, we wouldn't have laughed. I was about to experience Psalm 16:4: "The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply."

"Little g" Gods and the "Big G" God

I should explain: I wasn't running after one of those fat, little, golden idols. A friend once described a god, or an idol, to me this way: an idol is something that, without it, you think you'll face a "hell"—your own personal version of torment and pain. But with your idol, you think you'll be saved from that hell. Whatever you think will save you from your "hell" is your idol.

Have you ever thought about what your "hell" and idol are? Most of us have more than one, but my main idol was a boyfriend. I thought it would save me from the hell of not being loved.

An idol, or a "little g" god, is a dangerous thing and will always disappoint us. That's because it's a cheap substitute for the "big G" God, the one we were made by and for. This "big G" God is our Creator and the King of the entire universe. Not a cruel, capricious king, but a kind and just King.

In the beginning everyone and everything was subject to the King. But then one of the King's servants decided he wanted to be king. Ever since that day he has been leading a rebellion against the King. You may have heard of this servant. His name is Satan. Whether you know it or not, you are now caught up in this cosmic dash—the King desiring (and deserving) your wholehearted love and submission, and Satan wanting nothing more than for you to rebel against the King.

And most have rebelled against the King. When He sent His Son, Jesus, to earth over two thousand years ago, His people hatefully shouted, "We do not want this man to reign over us.... Crucify him, crucify him!" (Luke 19:14; 23:21). So they did. Some, though, said, "Truly this was the Son of God!" (Matthew 27:54). And because He was, death couldn't keep Him down. He rose from the dead and returned to the throne room of heaven.

The King of Kings

In Revelation 19:11–16 we're given a sneak peek of Jesus' soon return to earth to destroy His enemies and set up His kingdom for good. Read about it for yourself:

I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse! The one sitting on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he judges and makes war. His eyes are like a flame of fire, and on his head are many diadems [crowns], and he has a name written that no one knows but himself. He is clothed in a robe dipped in blood, and the name by which he is called is The Word of God. And the armies of heaven, arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, were following him on white horses. From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords.

Did you catch that? Jesus is the King of kings. It doesn't get any higher than that. Jesus is the greatest. The highest. The bestest. (Sorry, I know that's not a word, but I just had to.) As the King of kings, He deserves our fear, our obedience, our honor, and our celebration.

But instead of loving and worshiping the King of kings, I gave my love, worship, and affection to a "little g" god: boys. You'll get to read all about that in the following chapters. But first, let's talk about you.

Your Turn: Take the Boy-Crazy Quiz

Can you relate? Let's stop for a minute so you can take the Boy-Crazy Quiz and find out how you rate. Simply circle yes or no to answer the following fourteen questions. I'm going to make a quick cup of chai while you're working on it. See you in a few!

1. In a room full of people, do you always know where "he" is? (yes / no)

2. Are boys your number-one favorite topic of conversation with your friends? (yes / no)

3. Do you often dress to catch a guy's attention? (yes / no)

4. Do you replace one crush with another almost as soon as you realize the first relationship is not going anywhere? (yes / no)

5. Have you asked a guy out? (yes / no)

6. Do you have your eye on more than one guy at a time? (yes / no)

7. Do you believe you'd finally be completely happy if you had a boyfriend? (yes / no)

8. Do you change your schedule or plans in order to bump into him? (yes / no)

9. Do you tend to have more guy friends than girlfriends? (yes / no)

10. When you're relaxing with a good book, movie, or song, do you pick those that are filled with ooey-gooey romance? (yes / no)

11. If you journal or pray, are your pages or prayers filled with thoughts and requests about guys? (yes / no)

12. Are you always trying to figure out which guys like you? (yes / no)

13. Would you be willing to get a total makeover for a guy? Not the hair, makeup, and new clothes kind, but the "I'll change who I am at my core if that's what it takes to get you" kind? (yes / no)

14. Anything I've missed? If so, write it here:

If you answered yes to any, several, or all of those questions, then keep reading—this book is for you!


Is your life more marked by submission to or rebellion against the King of kings? What "little g" god are you living for, and what personal version of "hell" do you hope your idol will save you from?


early lessons in love

When my friend Hannah was in eleventh grade, she noticed that peer pressure was getting tougher. So she told her dad, "I think I'll need more hugs than normal." I love that. I wish I'd moved toward my dad during my teen years rather than shutting myself away in my room.

But I didn't. I didn't feel close to my dad. As the gap between us grew, I looked to guys to fill that gaping love hole inside of me.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it was my dad's fault I was boy crazy. As Nancy Leigh DeMoss says, "The outcome of our lives is not determined by what happens to us but by how we respond to what happens to us."

But my relationship with my dad is an important puzzle piece in my boy-crazy tale—just as your relationship with your dad is in yours. Like it or not, our relationship with God is shaped by our relationship with our dad, and our relationship with both God and our dad shapes our interactions with guys.

Missing God in a God-Saturated Home

Growing up, God was as much a part of my life as food, sleep, work, and play. He was the foundation of our home. We read the Bible as a family morning and evening and worshiped God with other Christians every Sunday and Wednesday.

I don't remember a time when I didn't believe that God was holy, holy, holy and that I was desperately sin sick. My parents still have the many apologies I wrote and drew for them when I'd disobey as a little girl.

Almost every night I asked Jesus to save me from my sins. I knew God's standard is perfection, and it wasn't hard to see I didn't measure up. Somehow, though, I missed the fact that Jesus lived a perfect life on my behalf.

Instead, I set out to earn God's love and approval. But, no matter how hard I tried, I never felt I had it. Oh, I knew the Bible says God loves me, but I sure never felt it. How could He? I couldn't begin to meet His standards.

The Good

As I already mentioned, our first understanding of God is shaped by our relationship with our father. I have a great dad. He worked hard to provide for our family. He spent many evenings playing board games and teaching us how to play a mean game of basketball. He bought us candy (I have a serious sweet tooth!) almost every time we stopped for gas. He even helped me with school projects (my favorite: the time he gave my brother a haircut and helped me make a toupee for my book report What's the Teacher's Toupee Doing in the Fish Tank?). I could go on and on about how great my dad is.

But no parent is perfect. Not even the good ones.

The Not-So-Good

It might have been the time I spilled my milk as a little girl. Dad got upset, and I believed from then on that I couldn't mess up. Ever. Or I'd make him mad. I was always on edge, afraid I might set off his anger.

It didn't help that I was sensitive. I cried when I was happy, cried when I was sad, and cried when I didn't even know why I was crying. My dad often told me to cut it out when my tears flowed. The only way I knew to hide my "weakness" was to maintain distance.

So while everything looked good on the outside, I didn't have a close relationship with Dad—or with God. And because of my perception of my dad, I viewed God as an angry, hard-to-please authority figure. I was afraid of Him.

I came to believe I always had to be strong and could never show any weakness in order to have a relationship with my dad, with God, or with guys. I had to have it all together first. I had to be perfect.

Feeling Unloved

By the time I hit my teen years, my relationship with Dad was especially tumultuous. He didn't trust me (you'll understand why in chapters 4 and 5). On top of that, we just didn't understand each other—or even seem to like each other. We both have strong personalities, and we butted heads. A lot. And since I didn't yet understand the importance of treating Dad respectfully, I sent a whole lot of icy glares his direction when I didn't agree with him.

Also, I've always liked to ask tons of questions and have deep conversations. My dad, on the other hand—like many men—preferred talking about the latest sports scores to talking about relationships. He may have felt I was judging him when I probed into his past and tried to understand what made him tick.

All these differences led me to feel unloved and rejected by Dad. So I turned to guys. But here's the thing it took me years to learn: boy craziness is really just girl neediness. Boys will never do the trick; only God can fill those empty, needy places.

Miracles Still Happen

At some point, I began to cry out to God for help. Slowly, as I started to believe and receive God's love for me, He freed me up to love my dad. After all, true love doesn't take—it gives.

As I received God's love, He helped me choose to forgive my dad for not being perfect. He helped me release Dad of my expectations. I began to learn to express respect and love for Dad in ways he'd appreciate rather than waiting for him to express his love in the way I wanted. Like this time I captured in my journal:

Last weekend, I traveled four hours with Dad to the Buchanans'. I purposely didn't ask him questions, so I think he's more comfortable and happy with our relationship. And lo and behold, today he called me! He asked all about a trip I had just taken. Then he said "I love you" before he hung up.

That phone call was just the beginning of many sweet surprises to come:

My heart is ready to burst. Dad picked me up from college. We talked the whole two hours home. He talked openly to me. He told me he'd been hurt so he had distanced himself. I'm amazed at how You're working, God.

What He Wasn't Made to Satisfy

Don't get me wrong. It's not like Dad suddenly had a personality transplant and started craving deep conversations. He didn't. But I learned an important lesson: dads are human, too. They have their own hurts, and people who are hurting often hurt others. Sometimes they don't communicate their love to us in ways we recognize.

And that's okay. Because no guy—dads included—was ever meant to give us the love we crave. Check out this solemn warning (and then promised blessing) in Jeremiah 17:5–8:

Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert.... He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness....

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.

He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green.

The Gift of Your Dad

Maybe your dad is as close to perfect as they come. Or maybe he left when you were little. Maybe he's an alcoholic. Maybe he's in prison. Maybe he just sits in front of the TV, night after night, barely noticing you.

God knows and He cares. In fact, according to Acts 17:26–27, God determined the exact time and place you would live—including your "dad story"—so you would seek God and find Him, the only one who is love.

This God is the "Father of the fatherless" (Psalm 68:5). He loves you with a "Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love."

As you receive your Father God's love for you, don't underestimate what He can do as you forgive your dad, release him from your expectations, and love him with God's unconditional love.

As a teen, I never would have guessed that someday I would feel loved and treasured by my dad. But I do! While writing this book, I got an email from him saying, "I love you, and I love what you're doing." How cool is that? Nothing—nothing—is impossible with God.

Excerpted from confessions of a boy-crazy girl by paula hendricks, Lydia Brownback. Copyright © 2013 Paula Hendricks. Excerpted by permission of Moody Publishers.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Part One: The Searching (Doing it My Way)

Chapter 1 - The Prayer That Rocked My World

Chapter 2 - Early Lessons in Love

Chapter 3 - Awakening Love

Chapter 4 - If I Could Just Be Beautiful Enough: My Ticket to Love

Chapter 5 - Lusting Behind My Parent's Back

Chapter 6 - The Relationship in My Head

Chapter 7 - Forcing a Fairy Tale

Chapter 8 - Running From Love

Chapter 9 - The Broken Fix-It Woman

Chapter 10 - Breakdown-and Breakthrough-in a Twelve-Passenger Van

Chapter 11 - You Want Me To Love Him More?

Chapter 12 - When You Get What You Want But It's All Wrong!

Chapter 13 - A Shattered Dream: Winter in My Soul

Chapter 14 - The Knock on My Door

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  • Posted March 2, 2014

    I believe this is a book every preteen girl, teen girl, young wo

    I believe this is a book every preteen girl, teen girl, young woman and their mothers should read!  As crazy as it sounds I think it is appropriate for grown women who are caught in the trap of thinking they need a man to be complete and happy.
    A great deal of damage is done to young girls and their future relationship with their husbands by society’s and parent’s  acceptance and even encouragement that being “boy crazy” is normal.  There is nothing “normal” about it and I do not believe it is God’s plan for the spiritual and emotional well-being of women of all ages.
    Paula does an amazing job of addressing this subject, not only from personal experience, but also from the Bible and the heart. This is not a big book but it is so well written that it holds an encyclopedia of wisdom!   She beautifully illustrates how the modern day obsession to attract the opposite sex and secure a “relationship”, is not the “freedom” to eventually find the right husband, but is actually Satan’s snare to ruin young lives.
    Gently and skillfully she shares this preoccupation with boys (or men) is simply another void in one’s life that only God can fill.  She reveals the story of her journey from being a boy crazy girl to a young woman who’s first love is God.  With scripture and much humor Paula shows that only through trusting God, praying, and studying His Word can a girl finding not only God’s best but also the kind of love and man she truly wants for a lifetime.  Her book makes it clear that God wants the best for us too, but in His time and His way.   I liked all the scripture references that were used throughout the book.  Not once was it ever preachy or condescending.  It is written as if two good friends are simply visiting with each other. At the end of each chapter is “Journal Corner” for reflection on scripture and a particular challenge girls would face.  A life changing book!
    I received this book free from Moody Press. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. 

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 20, 2013

    Great book! I couldn't put it down. And now I can't stop talki

    Great book! I couldn't put it down. And now I can't stop talking about it! I highly recommend any young woman to read this. My daughter is 12 & it seems the perfect age for us to read & talk about together. After we're done, it's getting passed it on to my sister-in-law to read with her two daughters ages 13 & 11. I've also recommended it to our youth group leader. She saw it in my hand this morning, shook her head & said, "EVERY week the girls group starts with conversation about boys!" They need this book! Paula keeps you wanting to read more. Get it for the girl you love for Christmas if not sooner!

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