Note: 2nd edition. Professionally edited by David "Blazing Beard" Gatewood, Thane of the Stonescribe clan
Just because you're short, crotchety, seldom bathe, like to drink, and have a beard doesn't make you a Dwarf. (1)
To see how much you differ from the typical (2) Dwarf, you have but to read Confessions of an Angry Dwarf. If you still think you're a Dwarf after reading this concise guide to Dwarfdom, then you will not be the only one full of surprise.
Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will correct (3) any (4) misperceptions you may have about the ancient and noble traditions of Dwarfdom.
If you're a bit more certain about your identity but have ever wanted to explore the inner workings of the Dwarven psyche (5,6), then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your gateway to a world probably better left unvisited.
With enlightening chapters such as All that Glimmers Might be Gold, Allies and Whether ta Tolerate 'Em, When NOT ta Wear Full Plate, Tha Fine Art o' Belchin', Grabbin' tha Dragon by tha Horns, When Yer Beard Catches Fire, On Learnin' ta Growl, One Good Thumpin' Deserves Another and On Never Conformin' ta Expectation, Confessions of an Angry Dwarf delivers a veritable treasure trove of almost useful information on realizing one's potential as a
If, on the assuredly remote possibility you still maintain some interest in Dwarves, then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your irrefutably refutable guide to Dwarfdom and Dwarven endeavor. (7)
Observations from a talking axe:
1. These qualities will generally draw comparisons to things other than Dwarves.
2. Or atypical in the case of Urdaen"Flamebeard" Doomhammer.
3. More likely further.
4. Or many.
5. Such as it is.
6. Brave soul that you are.
7. Now go grab your axe, don your armor, and start reading!
From the Author:
The EA'AE books are guides one might happen upon within the larger multiverse created in the Chronicles of the Fists trilogy... fantasy books giving farcical advice for professions that don't exist (even if we may want for them to... or not).
Joe is currently an underapprentice gold polisher, unbearded. He is also working diligently on mastering the ancient art of Dwarven brewing. Being beardless, he fears much of the taste added to Dwarven beverages may be residuals from frequent but inadvertent beard dippings, so his efforts may be doomed to failure.
Including influences such as Shunryu Suzuki, Tolkien, Krishnamurti, Iain M. Banks, Laozi, Stephen R. Donaldson, Philip Kapleau, Raymond E. Feist, Edward O. Wilson, Dan Simmons, and David Bohm, Joe creates existential fantasy filled with rich worlds, concepts, stories, and ideas.
Joe holds an advanced degree in environmental management from Duke University where he also studied religion with a focus on meditative, experiential, and transformative traditions. Additionally, Joe graduated with (dubious) honors from the Tellanon Institute of Noetic Knowledge, Education, and Research (TINKER) and has yet to put this knowledge to good use.
When not at play with his family, he enjoys reading, writing, and relaxation. When he can, Joe also practices various martial traditions in which he has attained the victim level of proficiency.
In addition to Confessions of an Angry Dwarf, Joe is also the author of the Chronicles of the Fists trilogy, Nemesis, Everygnome’s Guide to Paratechnology, and Mulogo’s Treatise on Wizardry. He is also working on something else but really cannot say more on the matter at present.
For more information, please visit Joe's website at: josephjbailey.com.