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Achild and family therapist for more than twenty years, Jennifer Kolari began her career working with children suffering from severe behavioral problems. That experience taught her an invaluable lesson-it wasn't "tough" discipline that helped these kids change their behavior and build self-esteem. It was unending compassion and empathy. Now, Kolari applies these lessons in...
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Achild and family therapist for more than twenty years, Jennifer Kolari began her career working with children suffering from severe behavioral problems. That experience taught her an invaluable lesson-it wasn't "tough" discipline that helped these kids change their behavior and build self-esteem. It was unending compassion and empathy. Now, Kolari applies these lessons in her work with all families-even those who are exhausted, overwhelmed, and struggling with the challenges of difficult or extremely defiant children. Empathy lies at the heart of Kolari's Connected Parenting philosophy.
What sets this book apart is Kolari's proven step-by-step CALM program (Connect, Match the Affect of Your Child, Listen, and Mirror) that will support parents and help them implement true empathy in any situation-even during temper tantrums. Empathy goes beyond listening well-Kolari offers interactive behavioral and verbal techniques such as mirroring and nonverbal methods like regular play interaction that can reduce conflict dramatically and deepen the connection between a parent and child. Kolari then shows parents how to develop foolproof strategies for setting limits and changing negative behavior for good.
Powerful and inspiring, Connected Parenting includes incredible stories from families who have experienced miraculous transformations-often in just a few weeks-using Kolari's parenting approach. It is a dynamic blueprint for bringing peace and loving connections into any family for life.
Author's Note xiii
Introduction: The Keys to Connection xv
Part 1 Making or Repairing the Connection
1 The Power of Connection 3
2 Create CALM by Mirroring and Joining 27
3 Reconnect and Repair the Bond 53
4 The Power of Parenting Together 64
5 In the Game of Life You Always Get a Second Chance 77
6 Time Well Spent, or Giving Your Child What He Needs 86
Part 2 Setting Appropriate Limits
7 Letting Your Child Know What's Okay and What's Not 97
8 Before You Set Limits, Get Familiar with Your Own 120
9 Frontloading and Intervention-Key Strategies for Containment 132
10 A Toolbox of Strategies for Containing and Correcting Behavior 149
Part 3 Connecting and Containing in Special Situations
11 Homework, Eating, Sleeping, Bathroom Issues, and More-Mirroring and Containing to Make Transitions Easier 165
12 Strategies for Mirroring and Connecting with the Anxious or Special-Needs Child 192
13 Troubleshooting Common Problems 230
Conclusion: Managing Through Mirroring 272
Suggested Reading 279
Posted November 10, 2010
Connected Parenting is a recipient of the prestigious Mom's Choice Award. The Mom's Choice Awards honors excellence in family-friendly media, products and services. An esteemed panel of judges includes education, media and other experts as well as parents, children, librarians, performing artists, producers, medical and business professionals, authors, scientists and others. A sampling of the panel members includes: Dr. Twila C. Liggett, ten-time Emmy-winner, professor and founder of PBS's Reading Rainbow; Julie Aigner-Clark, Creator of Baby Einstein and The Safe Side Project; Jodee Blanco, and New York Times best-selling Author; LeAnn Thieman, motivational speaker and coauthor of seven Chicken Soup For The Soul books. . Parents and educators look for the Mom's Choice Awards seal in selecting quality materials and products for children and families.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.