The Corset Diaries

The Corset Diaries

4.3 90
by Katie MacAlister
     
 

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No woman in her right mind would consent to wearing a corset for a month. Especially a "skinny-challenged" woman like Tessa. But dreams of being debt-free dance in her head at the offer of appearing in a reality TV show. "A Month in the Life of a Victorian Duke" is about real people pretending to live on an English estate, circa 1879. And Tessa's leading man-a real

Overview

No woman in her right mind would consent to wearing a corset for a month. Especially a "skinny-challenged" woman like Tessa. But dreams of being debt-free dance in her head at the offer of appearing in a reality TV show. "A Month in the Life of a Victorian Duke" is about real people pretending to live on an English estate, circa 1879. And Tessa's leading man-a real-life Duke-is so handsome she can barely breathe, with or without the corset...

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Reality TV has never been more entertaining than here as the wickedly funny MacAlister has her heroine record her hilarious experiences with a quirky cast of characters and her passionate encounters with Max in a laughter-laced diary that is a saucy, sexy delight." —Booklist

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780451411129
Publisher:
Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:
05/04/2004
Edition description:
Reprint
Pages:
352
Sales rank:
543,908
Product dimensions:
6.76(w) x 4.08(h) x 0.94(d)
Age Range:
18 Years

Read an Excerpt

I walked very carefully and slowly down the stairs, trying to look serene and duchessy, while inside I felt like I was going to explode. Keep in mind that my torso from boobs to hips were compressed, squeezed, smooshed together, pushing everything that normally resided in that space either upwards to where my boobs floated before my eyes, or downwards, to the depths of my pelvis.

I prayed that everything would return to normal once I took off the torture device, a thought that was soon driven from my mind as the camera lights suddenly came on and I realized they were filming me. I forced my lips into what I hoped was a pleasant, not in the least bit terrified, smile, and made it down the last couple of steps without tripping or stumbling.

"Ah, there you, my dear," Max said, and came forward from where he had been standing behind a man and a woman. He held his hand out for me. "We have been waiting for you. You look lovely, as usual."

I stopped dead when I got a good look at him. In everyday clothes he was handsome, what with his black hair and light blue eyes and nice chin and stuff, but in Victorian clothes, black frock coat and pants, patterned waistcoat, snowy white shirt with high collar points, he was breathtakingly gorgeous. I couldn't keep from staring at him; just the sight of him melted my innards, or what was left of them.

He took my hand and bent over it, his back to the camera, his lips brushing my knuckles as he hissed, "Your mouth is hanging open."

"Gark," I said, staring down at the glossy black waves of his hair, then managed to drag my eyes off him. "Good morning, um…uh…" My mind was a blank, a total and complete blank. What was his name? Why couldn't I remember it? Come to think of it, what was my name?

"Max," he said out of the side of his mouth.

"Max. And…uh…good morning to the rest of you. Here I am! A bit late, but you know us women, always late!" I groaned beneath my breath and closed my eyes for a few seconds, horrified by the words that had been chosen by my oxygen-starved brain. My first moment on film and what do I do? I stereotype my own sex. Lovely. Women the country over would now hate me.

"Shall we begin? My dear if you would just stand here. Melody -- "

Max had a lovely voice, not loud by any means, but deep and rumbly, the kind of voice that reverberated around in my bones and set up a kind of thrumming in my groin. Then again, it might have been the corset causing the lower half of my torso to go numb, it was hard to tell what exactly was causing all the gurgly feelings in my nether parts, but I'd rather think it was Max than something so mundane as gas.

A horrendous pain spasmed through me as Max droned on and on and on. I know the prayer only took a couple of minutes, but it seemed like an eternity as I stood next to him, surrounded by strangers, hot lights blazing off the cameras, bound and trussed, waiting for the torment to end so I could seek relief.

"…may God so protect us. Amen."

"Amen," everyone said. There was a particularly loud rumble from my guts that I hopefully drowned out with my own amen.

Max turned to me and flashed a smile. "My dear, you would like to add something?"

I stared at him in horror, then realized he wanted me to add a prayer, probably something about the family and home. "Um. Why yes, Maximillian, I always do, as you know, ha ha. Uh…may the lord bless all creatures great and small, and…uh…may we all live long and prosper."

"Amen," Max said, with an odd look on his face.

Copyright © 2004 by Katie MacAlister.

What People are saying about this

From the Publisher
"Wickedly witty...deliciously sexy." —Booklist

"Kept me smiling...and sometimes laughing out loud...to the last page."—Affaire De Coeur

Meet the Author

Katie MacAlister lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and dogs, and can often be found lurking around online game sites.

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Corset Diaries 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 90 reviews.
MaryCat More than 1 year ago
I am used to reading Katie MacAlister books that are part of a series, so this stand alone book made me nervous! I am def. a huge series reader, as I like to watch the charachters evolve and change! But this book really, very seriously, had me crying laughing sooooo hard!! I was in shock at many of the things that happened, and applaud MacAlister for daring to yes, "go there"!! Once again, she writes a book that is funny, romantic, and down right crude (at times)!! She just knows how to put them all together in a few hundred pages!!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I rarely laugh out loud when reading a romance novel, but this one is hilarious. I can only give it a 4-star rating, though, because the main character obsesses on nearly every other page about her fatness, and it really did get tiresome. Apart from that, it was a good read.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I loved this book. I laughed so hard in several places, my coworkers thought I was crazy! I explained this book to my mother and she wanted to read it. I am new to romance novels, but few make me laugh. Give it a try.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I'm hooked! I'm am not usually a buyer of romance novels, but the title and the fact that I am also 'skinny-challenged' caught my interest. I'm so glad I took the risk. This is a wonderfully written story that not only fulfills the romance novel lover, but satisfied a suspense novel seeker like me. It's a good thing I didn't have to wear a corset when I was reading this, because I would have split the sides laughing!!!
Meli_Green More than 1 year ago
Read 'The Corset Diaries' with an open mind, and you will find that this is a simply sumptuous book for accompanying you on those long days on the beach, or while sipping one of those icy coffee delights at the local cafe. Katie delivers a book full of open, honest, so-real-I-can't-believe-she-wrote-that humor, which has become an endearing drawing point to her books. Although I am a large fan of paranormal romances on any given day. Katie's books offer a refreshing lift out of the dark and serious, into the light and purely enjoyable. This book grabs you right at the beginning, and it kept my attention. Very funny and light hearted romance. Some pretty steamy scenes and likable characters, it was an interesting, unique set up for a romance. Tessa was a realistic woman, not walking perfection, & its great to have a heroine you can connect with, and trust me Tessa is far from perfection, but "The Corset Diaries" is a great one by Katie.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I am a huge fan of MacAlister's books, so reading this book was a big treat for me. I loved the characters in this book and the situations that they were placed in. The whole idea of this story was very cool and well done. All though this was a great book, I must say that I liked her Dark One novels better. This book, however, is a book that will have you laughing out loud from beginning to the end!!!!
Guest More than 1 year ago
The book was funny and a joy to read. I enjoyed the characters and their roles that they played. I read tons of romance novels and this is one of the best that I have read in a long time. I just read it over and over again.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This was a wonderful book! The characters were vivid and humorous, the plot was intriguing. It was the first book I had read by Katie MacAllister and I can't wait to read another!
Guest More than 1 year ago
The title interested me so I picked it up. but then I could not put it down all night. I finished this book in one night and have shared it with several co-workers who have enjoyed as much as I have and we have found another great romantic author to share at work. Laughed at quite a few passages and will most likely pick up again soon when I get my book back. Loved It!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Hi everyone! I want to recommend this book! It is the funniest & sexiest book I've read so far this year. I just couldn't put it down! The Corset Diaries has everything from a lascivious romp in the sheets to a hilarious upside down bouncing Lady on a horse who couldn't quite figure out how to ride a side saddle, let alone in a confining corset! You will laugh out loud through the whole book, but also, the steamy romance that blossoms between Lady Tessa & Max, well, I won't get in to it. You'll just have to read it, & find out for yourself. Pleaseeeeeeee, don't pass this book up, it's one of the best books written this year. I just hope that Hollywood makes a movie out of this book. It has all those great qualities.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Last fall, I stepped into a hole in the back yard and twisted my knee. At the time, that was so painful, I did not notice I cracked open the sternum of my ribcage. I woke in great pain during the night and had to be rushed to hospital. The immediately solution was stuff me into a corset to where I could not breath - crushing my ribcage. Surprisingly, you get 'sort of' used it as the weeks pass, but you really are amazed at the women that lived their whole lives in that fashion. It's small wonder they swooned! So, recalling how bad it hurt to laugh with a corset, I am eternally grateful that Katie Macalister waited until I was out of the bloody thing to release the Corset Diaries. Had I read this while trussed up like a turkey, I would have been in serious trouble! I would so hate to have my demise on Ms. Macalister conscience! And I fear that would have been the result. This book is just such a howl. Katie's is a brand of humour that makes one feel good. It's a special gift. Her books won't change the world, solve the rain forest problem or go down into the history of literature, but they are sheer fun. And this one is another special gem from a very talented writer. It's a funny, witty, sexy, Benny Hill - Monty Python bawdy romp. Some people don't get Brit humour, so they miss all the fun. Sorry for them. The rest of us shall delight in this tale of Tessa, a less than stunningly perfect, 39-year-old who takes on the chore of acting the role of Duchess for a week, corset and all. Frankly, I felt for Tessa when her heart goes pitter-patter over her leading man Max ¿ her ¿Duke¿. Rapid breaths in steel stays is just dangerous! Its wickedly sly dialogue charms us as ¿Duchess¿ Tessa adjusts to life as it was over a century ago. Stocked full of charming characters, it¿s a delight from start to finish. Katie's brings her special touch to this amusing story. Still, I am so glad I read it now, instead of four months ago when my brush with a corset left deep impression on me - figuratively and literally!! Keep spinning the magic, and we shall keep laughing!
Guest More than 1 year ago
To pay off the medical bills of her deceased spouse thirty nine years old American Tessa Riordan is elated to obtain a job on a reality TV show in London. The $10K compensation will get the genealogical expert out of debt though she frets that her weight will embarrass her when the producer rejects her for being to plump........................................ Still the ¿skinny challenged¿ woman gets the part of the wealthy American marrying an English duke in 1879 for the show ¿A Month in the Life of a Victorian Duke¿. While the corset makes it impossible to breath, Tessa finds herself very attracted to her ¿husband¿, Max Edgerton, who in reality is an architect, and loves his real life daughter, who also appears in the show. To her shock, she believes handsome Max reciprocates though she feels he is commitment shy. In front of an audience Tessa must persuade her duke that he could fall in love with a woman she feels he cannot lift..................................... This is an enjoyable contemporary romance that places people used to modern conveniences and freedoms into a strict aristocratic environment thirty-five years prior to the liberating of the European masses by World War One events. The story line is fun to follow as an amusing Tessa laughs at her own foibles including some negative bodily exports, but is quite serious when it comes to loving Max and his daughter. Max is a delight as he is ready to lift his beloved to new horizons. Fans will enjoy this entertaining anachronistic look at displacement as the modern crowd struggles with life just over a century ago................................... Harriet Klausner
Anonymous 7 months ago
Laugh out loud.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
An interesting read. Very funny! Outrageous really. A+++
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Some parts certainly made me giggle - overall good read - too many characters to follow at times
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great story
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I enjoyed this book, some VERYFUNNY parts, great characters, loved the idea of living a month as they did many years ago! Creative way to capture this time period, without the stupid reality show conxept. I'd reccomend this one!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great read! :-)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book made me laugh! I enjoyed reading it.