The Courage to Love: Principles and Practices of Self-Relations Psychotherapy / Edition 1by Stephen Gilligan, Gilligan
Pub. Date: 05/28/1997
Publisher: Norton, W. W. & Company, Inc.
This is a book about how psychotherapy may be used to cultivate the courage and freedom to love.In a time when love seems to be fading and hatred and despair rising, it presents love as a skill and force that can heal and invigorate, reconnect and guide, calm and encourage. In Gilligan's self-relations approach, psychotherapy is a conversation about competing differences. When these differences are treated violently or indifferently, problems arise; solutions develop when the skills of love are practiced. Those practical skills are described here, with an emphasis on postconventional ethics, Buddhist and aikido principles, and ideas of human sponsorship.
- Norton, W. W. & Company, Inc.
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Table of ContentsAcknowledgments
1. A River Runs through It:Basic Premises of the Relational Self
Premise 1: An indestructible "tender soft spot" exists at the core of each person
Premise 2: Life moves through you, except when it doesn't
Premise 3: Life is great, but sometimes it hurts like hell
Premise 4: There are two of you:
Relationship is the basic psychological unit
Premise 5: An intelligence greater than you exists in the world
Premise 6: Your path is yours alone: You are an incurable deviant
2. Attention and the Relationship between
Differences: How Do You Deal with the Other?
Holding too tight: The fear and fury of fundamentalism
Holding too loose: The indifference and addiction of consumerism
Not too tight, not too loose: The felt connection of the relational self
3. The Relational Self: Identity, Problem Formation, and Problem Resolution
A question of identity: Who are you?
A self-relations model of how symptoms develop
4. Return from Exile: Practices for Mind-Nature Coordination
Breathing awareness and muscle relaxation
Cleansing the doors of perception
5. Love as a Skill: The Practices of Sponsorship
A prototype exercise: Who are you?
Skills of sponsorship
A modified practice of tonglen
III. THERAPY METHODS
6. The Reparation of Relatedness: A Prototype for Self-Relations Work
Step 1: Identify the problem
Step 2: Identify and somatically locate the neglected self
Step 3: Activate and locate the cognitive self
Step 4: Identify and differentiate negative sponsors
Step 5: Connect cognitive self and neglected (somatic) self
Step 6: Return to original problem sequence
Step 7: Further work
7. The Archetypal Self: We Get by with a Little Help from Our Friends
Basic idea about archetypes
A clinical model for working with archetypes
The therapist's use of archetypal energies
8. Therapeutic Rituals: Passages into New Identities
What are rituals?
A therapy approach to using rituals
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