The Cow in the Parking Lot: A Zen Approach to Overcoming Anger [NOOK Book]

Overview

Imagine you’re circling a crowded parking lot. Just as you spot a space, another driver races ahead and takes it. In a world of road rage, domestic violence, and professionally angry TV and radio commentators, your likely response is anger, even fury. Now imagine that instead of another driver, a cow has lumbered into that parking space and settled down. Your anger dissolves into bemusement. What has changed? Not just the occupant of the space but your perspective on the ...
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The Cow in the Parking Lot: A Zen Approach to Overcoming Anger

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Overview

Imagine you’re circling a crowded parking lot. Just as you spot a space, another driver races ahead and takes it. In a world of road rage, domestic violence, and professionally angry TV and radio commentators, your likely response is anger, even fury. Now imagine that instead of another driver, a cow has lumbered into that parking space and settled down. Your anger dissolves into bemusement. What has changed? Not just the occupant of the space but your perspective on the situation.

We’re a society swimming in anger, always about to snap. Using simple, understandable Buddhist principles, Scheff and Edmiston explain how to replace anger with happiness. They introduce the four kinds of demands that most commonly underlie anger (Important and Reasonable, Reasonable but Unimportant, Irrational, and Impossible), then show how to identify our real unmet demands, dissolve our anger, and change what happens when our buttons are pushed. We learn to laugh at ourselves, a powerful early step, and realize that others don’t make us angry. Only we can make ourselves angry.

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble

Our culture breeds anger. Cable news and radio commentators win ratings by fuming. Drivers boil over on crowded highways. Domestic violence is on a surge. In days long past, trial lawyer Leonard Scheff used that rage to snag the attention of jurors; now he knows better. Years of studying Buddhism and meditation taught him a lesson best capsulized in the parable behind the title: Imagine yourself circling a crowded parking lot, searching for a space: Just as you are approaching it, another driver pulls in and your anger soars. Then make a simple substitution: Instead of a car and a driver, imagine a cow loping into your prized spot. If you can understand that parable, you will probably enjoy this sage book. (Hand-selling tip: This book is a self starter: It first saw light as an iUniverse offering.)

Management Today
What do cows and parking spaces have to do with managing a third sector workforce?

Quite a lot, if your day-to-day life involves finding yourself in a situation where you might succumb to feelings of frustration or anger.
The Cow in the Parking Lot, by Leonard Scheff and Susan Edmiston, says you can manage your anger in a positive way through the power of Buddhism. So when a colleague screws up, a donor pulls out or a charity campaign misfires, reach for the yoga mat, assume the meditation position and chant your cares away ...

You may be wondering where the cow comes in. Well, imagine you're in a supermarket car park, circling for that elusive space. You find one, but before you can reverse in, someone else has swiped it. Now imagine that, instead of another driver, a cow has lumbered into the space and settled down. Your anger dissolves into bemusement.

Scheff and Edmiston explain that once we understand our anger "buttons", we can defuse a situation if they're pushed. Alternatively, just picture the cause of your frustration - be it a boss, colleague or donor - as a docile cow. That will soon have you smiling.
- Emma De Vita is books editor of Management Today

California Bookwatch
“One of the best titles available on anger management. It’s packed with insights and techniques that advocate getting calm instead of angry, and comes from a trial attorney who used anger to fuel his fiery courtroom presence. Buddhist wisdom permeates a powerful survey of what provokes anger and how to turn it aside.”
California Bookwatch
Library Journal
Scheff, a lawyer and Buddhist who has conducted seminars on anger management, and journalist Edmiston take a fresh approach to the perennial issue of anger, which they identify as a way of responding to unmet needs or wishes. They show how, through the application of simple Buddhist ideas, readers can alter their responses to life's anger-inducing moments and move from anger toward compassion. VERDICT This book is aptly pointed at those who are curious about Buddhist spiritual practice in today's world, with its many opportunities for rage and frustration; it should appeal to religious readers as well as mothers, business leaders, teachers, and others.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780761161981
  • Publisher: Workman Publishing Company, Inc.
  • Publication date: 6/24/2010
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 197
  • Sales rank: 455,092
  • File size: 3 MB

Meet the Author

Susan Edmiston, a former editor at Redbook and Glamour, writes for New York, The New York Times Magazine and Book Review, Esquire, The San Francisco Chronicle, and Women's Day. She lives in Berkeley, California. 

Leonard Scheff, a successful trial lawyer in Tucson, Arizona, is also a practicing Buddhist who, for the last fifteen years, has conducted seminars on managing anger.
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