Cracks in My Foundation [NOOK Book]

Overview

Go further under the covers and stay in bed a little longer with Marian Keyes in this winning follow-up to her smash essay collection, Under the Duvet. Written in the witty, forthright style that has earned her legions of devoted readers, Cracks in My Foundation offers an even deeper and more candid look into this beloved author's mind and heart, exploring such universal themes as friends and family, home, glamour and beauty, children, travel, and more. Marian's hilarious and thoughtful take on life makes her ...

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Cracks in My Foundation

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Overview

Go further under the covers and stay in bed a little longer with Marian Keyes in this winning follow-up to her smash essay collection, Under the Duvet. Written in the witty, forthright style that has earned her legions of devoted readers, Cracks in My Foundation offers an even deeper and more candid look into this beloved author's mind and heart, exploring such universal themes as friends and family, home, glamour and beauty, children, travel, and more. Marian's hilarious and thoughtful take on life makes her readers feel they are reading a friend, not just an author.

Marian continues to entertain with her reports from the trenches, and throws in some original short fiction as well. Whether it's visiting Siberia, breaking it off with an old hairdresser, shopping (of course!), turning forty, living with her beloved husband, Himself (a man beyond description), or musing on the F word (feminism), Marian shares the joys, passions, and sorrows of her world and helps us feel good about our own. So grab a latte and a pillow and get ready to laugh your slippers off!

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
Like its predecessor, Under the Duvet, Marian Keyes's second collection of journalism consists of a neat mix of humorous autobiographical pieces and serious pieces about feminism and foreign culture. Cracks in My Foundation also contains Keyes's short stories, "all seven of them." A diverting recreational read.
Library Journal
Best loved for novels like Watermelon, Keyes comes up with this second essay collection (after Under the Duvet) and throws in some never-before-seen stories as well. Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
Kirkus Reviews
Gaelic gabber Keyes (Sushi for Beginners, 2003, etc.) provides a treat for fans: a book divided among essays and stories, the former tastier than the latter. The nonfiction pieces that take up half of Keyes's latest (flip the book over to read the fiction taking up the rest) are written with grace and good humor, giving even the most seemingly trivial of experiences a goodly going-over, and all of it with at least one brilliant turn of phrase per page. Keyes is at her best when writing on travel, as in "Stack'n'fly," in which she does her determined best to puncture the myth that it's better to travel than to arrive: "It is NOT better to travel. To travel is AWFUL and to arrive is LOVELY." Elsewhere, readers are treated to her many loves (Kit Kats, 16 hours of sleep a day, being sick in bed so that somebody has to take care of her) and many hates (exercise, sun-tanning, her fellow Irishmen's need when traveling to be the life of the party). The author includes a hilarious account of her travels to Russia: "Flight to St. Petersburg. The plane was disappointingly normal. Seat belts and the like." It's not all chocolate and lazing about, however. She revisits in one nonfiction piece a look at her own years-long struggle with alcoholism, recounting it with honesty and a refreshing lack of pathos. Things fare less well on the fiction side, where the stories seem more like forced attempts to capture the self-deprecating good humor of her magazine pieces. This is especially true of "A Moment of Grace," a story about a forlorn angel's attempt to commit all the seven deadly sins. It's all easy enough to read, even the one about the alien and English girl bopping about L.A., but can seem likesloppy seconds. Sure to be snatched up by fans.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780061864698
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 10/13/2009
  • Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 368
  • Sales rank: 266,262
  • File size: 488 KB

Meet the Author

Marian Keyes

Marian Keyes is the author of ten bestselling novels and two essay collections. She lives in Ireland with her husband and their two imaginary dogs.

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Read an Excerpt

Cracks in My Foundation

Bags, Trips, Make-up Tips, Charity, Glory, and the Darker Side of the Story: Essays and Stories by Marian Keyes
By Marian Keyes

HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Copyright © 2005 Marian Keyes
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0060787031

Cheaper Than Drugs

I know a man who denies that jet lag exists. He regularly flies halfway across the world, marches off the plane after a twenty-seven-hour flight, goes straight into the Auckland office, pausing only to brush his teeth, and immediately starts barking orders and making people redundant. (Or whatever super-macho, no-human-weakness job it is he does.) I want to sue this man-as far as I'm concerned denying jet lag is like denying that the Earth is round. I am so prone to jet lag that I even get it when I haven't been on a plane: I get jet lag when the clocks go back.

(It's because I'm so in thrall to sleep. I'm grand if I get my habitual sixteen hours a night, but if anything happens to interfere with that, I'm all over the place. I am a martyr to my circadian rhythms.)

Naturally, I've investigated all the jet lag "cures" stay away from alcohol on the plane; drink plenty of water; eat lightly; do a little exercise; get on to local time patterns immediately; and most importantly walk around in the sunlight as soon as you arrive at your faraway destination.

All nonsense, of course: as effective as giving someone a Barbie Band-Aid for a shattered femur. I must admit I don't trust "natural" solutions to conditions; I like chemicals. I am probably the last person in the Western world who doesn't have a homeopath and who still swears by antibiotics. I would love if someone invented an anti-jet lag drug and I couldn't care less about side effects, in fact I'd embrace them. Dry mouth? Trembling? Blurred vision? Better than being fecking jet lagged and falling asleep facedown in my dinner at six in the evening.

But unfortunately, for some things there is no cure but time. Like a hangover or a broken heart, you just have to wait your jet lag out and try to live through it as best you can.

Of all the suggested "cures" I think that trying to get on to local time as quickly as possible is probably the best, but doing it is so phenomenally unpleasant. Walking around on feet I can no longer feel, swimming through air that seems lit with little silvery tadpoles, the pavement lurching towards me -- everything takes on a strange, hallucinogenic quality. (Mind you, if you're that way inclined, it'll save you a fortune in recreational drugs.)

In Australia, I had the worst ever example of this. In a pitiful attempt to recover from a twenty-four-hour flight and an eleven-hour time difference, myself and Himself thought we'd "do a little exercise" and "walk around in the sunlight" as soon as we arrived.

It was early evening, and clutching our bottles of water ("drink plenty of water"), we staggered about on an area of greenness so verdant that we gradually realized it must be a golf course. Bumping into each other and grumpily apologizing, like we were scuttered, I suddenly...

Stack'n'fly

"It is better to travel than to arrive."

Whoever said that should get his head examined. It is NOT better to travel. To travel is AWFUL and to arrive is LOVELY.

The only time it's not entirely unbearable to travel is when you're on the Orient Express, and your daily champagne allowance would fell an elephant. Or on a cruise liner the size of a small country, and you're sailing from place to place but it doesn't feel like it, the same way you don't feel the Earth turning at four million miles a day (or whatever it is).

Let's look at how awful it is to TRAVEL, will we? I won't even mention the car-clogged crawl to the airport, the dog-eat-dog scramble for parking, and the overland trek from the long-stay car park to the departures hall. (All I'll say is that I've heard frequent travelers discussing the feasibility of paying homeless people to sleep in a space in the short-term car park, so that it'll be reserved for them when they need it.)

Anyway... Having arrived at departures but already lost the will to live, I look up at the telly monitors wondering where I should check in. But I needn't bother overexerting my neck muscles by looking up. All I need to do is look in, at the rowdy, pushing, shoving mass of humanity spilling out into the set-down area. It might look like a riot at a Red Cross feeding station but actually it's a queue. A queue filled with shrieking babies all sporting ear infections, overexcited teenage boys, playfully breaking each other's limbs, and greasy long-haired men wanting to check in rocket launchers and garden sheds. Step right this way, Miss Keyes!

For many, many hours I shuffle, far too slowly for any movement to be visible to the naked eye, and because -- through no fault of my own -- I'm one of the last to check in, all the good seats are gone. I'm usually told it's not possible for the left side and right side of my body to sit together, so one half of me is in 11B and the other in 23E.

Then I proceed to security in order to be groped and to display the contents of my brain on a little table. (Okay, security checks are a very good thing, I'm just sore because recently I was relieved of one of my finest tweezers in a handbag search. Very expensive they were too, something people don't seem to realize about tweezers. They think they only cost a couple of euro, but mine cost eighteen quid. Sterling.)

The security check eventually comes to an end, and when I've replaced my internal organs in something approximating their correct configuration, I proceed to the gate -- just in time for the delay!

Now the thing is, I expect delays, I don't even mind them (apart from when I miss my connecting flight to Mauritius). I've learned to embrace them in a Zen kind of way -- why resent them?

Continues...


Excerpted from Cracks in My Foundation by Marian Keyes Copyright © 2005 by Marian Keyes.
Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 3, 2012

    Fun read

    I loved this book; it,s so interesting to read more about an author's life. Definitely a favorite in my library.

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