Crap: How to Deal with Annoying Teachers, Bosses, Backstabbers, and Other Stuff that Stinks

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Crap teaches which types of crap are useful (and which aren't), how to avoid crap when possible, deal with it when it can’t be avoided, and flush it out of one’s life. Readers will learn how to break the crap cycle once and for all. Complete with:
  • Quotes from noted crap-coping experts such as Homer Simpson and Kurt Vonnegut
  • Little-known biological and scientific facts about—you guessed it—actual crap
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Crap teaches which types of crap are useful (and which aren't), how to avoid crap when possible, deal with it when it can’t be avoided, and flush it out of one’s life. Readers will learn how to break the crap cycle once and for all. Complete with:
  • Quotes from noted crap-coping experts such as Homer Simpson and Kurt Vonnegut
  • Little-known biological and scientific facts about—you guessed it—actual crap
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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

WINNER: Yalsa Quick Picks for Reluctant Young Adult Readers
VOYA - Arthur Dixon
Crap is an extended metaphor comparing actual crap to the social and emotional "crap" that teenagers experience. Its purpose is to help teenagers overcome their "crap." The book has a forced colloquial style, and it contains many weak jokes. Its main redeeming feature is its numerous interesting facts and quotes on the subject of crap. Crap might be amusing for a young adolescent audience. 2Q 3P Reviewer: Arthur Dixon, Teen Reviewer
VOYA - Cheryl Clark
Finally, teens no longer have to suffer through long lectures on how they screwed up again and parents, older siblings, bosses, and teachers no longer have to endure rolled eyes when they try to impart their wisdom to the next generation. Because now there's Crap . . . and more importantly, how to deal with it. This self-help guide disguised as a book of potty humor is divided into five loaded chapters that describe how to identify "crap," avoid it, deal with it, get rid of it, and break the "stank cycle." In spite of its silly, rather disgusting toilet motif, the advice is solid and the kind of thing that every teenager (and many adults!) should take to heart. Some of the little nuggets of wisdom tell teens to choose their battles, stay away from people who bring them down, prioritize, figure out how their own behavior creates problems, and lay off the self-criticism. The naughty title and potty references are a great hook to draw in young adults and the limited page count, generous white space, and unassociated but interesting toilet trivia will keep them reading. Also, because the advice is not coming from an angry adult in a tense situation, readers are more likely to take the information seriously. This is a great little volume to slip into the hands of adolescents, especially those who are struggling to make good decisions. Reviewer: Cheryl Clark
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780979017353
  • Publisher: Zest Books
  • Publication date: 2/1/2009
  • Pages: 96
  • Sales rank: 350,405
  • Age range: 12 years
  • Lexile: 1100L (what's this?)
  • Product dimensions: 4.70 (w) x 6.80 (h) x 0.40 (d)

Meet the Author

Erin Elisabeth Conley is the author of all the PSST! Books: Crush: A Girl’s Guide to Being Crazy in Love, Dumped: A Girl’s Guide to Happiness After Heartbreak, and Uncool: A Girl’s Guide to Misfitting In. She also coauthored The Simply SPA-tacular Spa Time Book and Robot Riots: The Good Guide to Bad Bots. Erin splits her time between Buenos Aires, Argentina and San Francisco, California.

Karen Macklin is the weekly San Francisco columnist for Yoga Journal’s online blog Samadhi & the City. She has written for more than a dozen publications nationally, including The New York Times, San Francisco Weekly, and Yoga Journal. She also cowrote Zest Books’s Indie Girl: From Starting a Band to Launching a Fashion Company, Nine Ways to Turn Your Creative Talent Into Reality.

Jake Miller has written dozens of children’s books for kids on the history of the civil rights movement, the nature of communities, and the biology of lizards and spiders. He is a contributor to various publications, including The New York Times. Jake is also the author of Zest Books's Decoding Mom: Making Sense of Her Moods, Her Methods, and Her Madness. He lives in Boston with his wife.

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Read an Excerpt


How to Deal with Annoying Teachers, Bosses, Backstabbers, and Other Stuff that Stinks
By Erin Elisabeth Conley

Zest Books

Copyright © 2009 Erin Elisabeth Conley
All right reserved.

ISBN: 9780979017353

Before you can understand what to do with crap, you need to know how to identify it. This is where the science of crapology comes in. Becoming a skilled crapologist—that is, learning how to distinguish one type of crap from another—can help you anticipate what may be coming your way. That can make the crap easier to contend with, or avoid entirely. Here are the four basic types of crap.

What Is This Crap?

1. Crap From the Management.

This type comes from parents, teachers, bosses, and anyone who has authority over you. Common complaints are directed at marathon texting and video game-playing sessions, homework handed in late, tardiness to work, and other random "problems." For instance, you might get crap for hardly ever being home one week, and for hardly ever leaving your room the next.

Management crap can turn particularly nasty if comparisons become a part of it—which is all about being judged, usually against someone else or someone else’s idea of who you are (or aren’t). You might be compared to your sibling, the class brainiac, the school suck-up, your tennis team partner, or the community do-gooder. You may get slammed for how much better "young people used to be back in the day"—or even for not living up to your own former behavior. This twist on crap sucks for a whole slew of reasons, especially because it basically discounts all of the great qualities you actually do have.

2. Crap From Your Peers.

This is the crap that comes from people about the same age as you. Think of all those backstabbing friends, jealous or cheating significant others, lame coworkers who won’t cover for you when you need a day off, and siblings who steal your stuff or rat you out to your parents whenever they catch you doing something you’re not supposed to be doing.

3. Crap From Yourself.

This is one of the most common forms of crap, and it’s the one you are probably most blind to (people generally think that crap is thrust upon them by external forces). This type appears in many forms, the harshest of which is self-criticism (see page 50). You are a fan of this kind of crap if you berate yourself for: failing a test even when you studied for it, disappointing a friend or parent, locking yourself out of the house or car, losing your brother’s favorite watch, or being a few pounds overweight or underweight. You can also give yourself crap by behaving in a way that you know will adversely affect your life (i.e., acting like a jerk, stealing your best friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend, or partying the night before a history final).

4. Crap From the Universe.

Some people refer to this as "bad luck" (or even bad karma—see page 84). Examples: Your prom is scheduled for the same weekend as your family’s (obligatory) annual reunion; your bunny dies from some rare disease that affects .0001 percent of all bunnies; you come down with the flu the night before your date with the guy/ girl you have been eyeing for two years.


Excerpted from Crap by Erin Elisabeth Conley Copyright © 2009 by Erin Elisabeth Conley. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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