Crap Kingdom [NOOK Book]

Overview

THE CHOSEN ONE MUST BE RETRIEVED FROM EARTH

HE WILL BRING DOWN THE WALL AND RESTORE THE KINGDOM TO GLORY

HIS NAME IS TOM PARKING


With this mysterious yet oddly ordinary-looking prophecy, Tom's fate is sealed: he's been plucked from his...
See more details below
Crap Kingdom

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 7.0
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 10.1
  • NOOK HD Tablet
  • NOOK HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK eReaders
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$9.99
BN.com price

Overview

THE CHOSEN ONE MUST BE RETRIEVED FROM EARTH

HE WILL BRING DOWN THE WALL AND RESTORE THE KINGDOM TO GLORY

HIS NAME IS TOM PARKING


With this mysterious yet oddly ordinary-looking prophecy, Tom's fate is sealed: he's been plucked from his life and whisked away to a magical kingdom to be its Chosen One.

There's just one problem: The kingdom is mostly made of garbage from Earth. Okay, well, two problems: the king hates Tom. Also, the princess likes to wear fake mustaches. And being Chosen One seems to consist mainly of cleaning out rats' noses at the Royal Rat-Snottery.

So, basically, the kingdom sucks.

When Tom turns down the job of Chosen One, he thinks he's making a smart decision. But when Tom discovers he's been replaced by his best friend Kyle, who's always been cooler, more athletic, and better with girls, Tom wants Crap Kingdom back—at any cost. And the hilarity that ensues will determine the fate of the universe.
Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

School Library Journal
Gr 7–10—Tom Parking figured his life was too normal for him ever to be whisked off to an alternate world like a character in a book or movie, much as that would please him. Then his estranged father shows up in the guise of Gark and takes him, via the used-clothes donation box, to an unnamed kingdom of salvaged junk to be their Chosen One. When the teen's reception by the king is less than enthusiastic and he winds up being assigned to the Royal Rat-Snottery to prove his worth, Tom decides to return home to consider his options. He focuses on trying to win the attention of beautiful Lindsy Kopec instead of trying to be the salvation of a "crap kingdom." But when his friend Kyle takes his place as the Chosen One, wins over the king, and acquires magical powers, Tom can't help but be jealous. To add insult to injury, the soul that inhabits Tom's body whenever he visits Kyle is the brave and confident type of guy he always wished he could be. Everything comes to a head when Tom is captured by an enemy king and forced into the army that is bent on destroying the unnamed kingdom. When his friend's life is in jeopardy, Tom discovers that there is much more to him than he has ever given himself credit for. Put this one on your list of good reads for guys.—Cary Frostick, Mary Riley Styles Public Library, Falls Church, VA
Publishers Weekly
Adult author Pierson (The Boy Who Couldn’t Sleep and Never Had To) delivers a cutting sendup of a traditional portal fantasy in this story of a Chosen One who fails to live up to his legend. Tenth-grader Tom Parking’s life is perfectly average and acceptable until he’s taken away to a mystical kingdom where he’s destined to do great things. But the kingdom, which doesn’t even have a name, stinks, in Tom’s opinion. It’s boring, dirty, and filled with trash, and its inhabitants are jerks (worse still, the prophecy about Tom is written in Times New Roman, and not even centered properly). Disappointed, Tom turns his back on the whole thing, but he’s flabbergasted when his best friend Kyle is picked as the new Chosen One—and turns out to be a much better choice. There’s a subtly cynical, almost mean-spirited feel to the humor, as though Pierson is not-so-affectionately mocking the source material even as he mines it for inspiration. Luckily, some narrative twists and surprises redeem the story, shedding light on a bigger picture. Ages 12–up. Agent: Daniel Greenberg, Levine Greenberg Literary Agency. (Mar.)
Children's Literature - Julia Beiker
Our young hero, Tom, finds himself in quite the predicament when he learns that he loses the title of hero because he does not have the confidence and other abilities to save this strange kingdom found in the bottom of a clothes donation box. Now he returns to his world and lives with his awkwardness until he leaves for Crap Kingdom and another soul takes over for him. Even though this soul looks and talks like him, this double takes Tom to a new level of cool. Then his best friend, Kyle, becomes the new hero for Crap Kingdom which eliminates yet another way for Tom to redeem himself as a hero. The story twists and turns multiple times before everything turns upside down. Even with the believable characters and original plot, this story fell short due to the confusing and complicated plot which continues until the end. The unnecessary need to have Tom be nude and flying a creature took me to places I never wanted to visit. Reviewer: Julia Beiker
Kirkus Reviews
Tom Parking dreamed of being whisked away to a fantasy realm, but his real life just wasn't crappy enough. Tenth-grader Tom's mom is a great mom. His dad's absent but not a monster. Tom has a few friends, and he loves drama club. There's even the possibility of a girlfriend….It's not a stellar life, but he's no abused orphan living under the staircase; no other realm would name him Chosen One. Until one does. Just Tom's luck: It's a ragged, rubbishy, nameless kingdom (they won't commit to a name and "mumble unintelligibly" when they talk of their land) that's accessed through a charity bin in a Kmart parking lot. Nggghthththhh's king loathes Tom and sends him to work in the Rat-Snottery (don't ask). Just after Tom tells the Nggghthththhhians no thanks for the Chosen One gig, his best friend Kyle starts acting weird. Suddenly, there's a new prophecy: Kyle's the Chosen One! The king loves him, and Kyle can do magic! Then Tom finds out his body wasn't idle while he was in Nggghthththhh, and he has trouble in two worlds. Twice as trippy and equally as much fun as his first (The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep and Never Had to, 2010, for adults), Pierson's sophomore effort is a post-Potter, self-aware, ironic, sarcastic fantasy. Some action scenes get boggy with exuberant descriptions, but the abundant laughs make up for it. Adults might wonder what Pierson's smoking; teens will just enjoy the ride. (Fantasy. 12 & up)
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781101589724
  • Publisher: Penguin Group (USA)
  • Publication date: 3/7/2013
  • Sold by: Penguin Group
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 368
  • Sales rank: 472,143
  • Age range: 12 years
  • File size: 889 KB

Meet the Author

DC Pierson (dcpierson.com) is one-fifth of the popular sketch comedy group DERRICK, whose videos have been viewed over 250 million times online.  He co-wrote and co-starred in their feature film Mystery Team, which went to Sundance in 2009, released theatrically by Roadside Attractions, and is available on DVD from Lionsgate.  His first novel The Boy Who Couldn’t Sleep And Never Had To won an Alex Award for adult books with special appeal for teen readers from the American Library Association.  He lives in Hollywood, California.
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 1 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(1)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 18, 2013

    Good read

    I heard about the book on the nerdist and thiught i just give it a chance....and im happy i did. Read it, its a unique story that in its own way teaches a lesson....i dont want to spoil it so check it out

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)