The ability to hold someone or something in trust, to give to someone else or to give something of who we are and what we have, comes from our own experiences of being held in trust. Over time these experiences influence the development of certain beliefs and perceptions about our value and worth and the value and worth of others. The first is a belief that we are in relationship with and to others and that the stranger is a part of who we are and is a part of our world. This belief helps us to remember our common humanity and to perceive our differences as aspects of a whole rather than as disparate elements threatening our identity. When we see ourselves as being in relationship with and to one another, we can begin to embrace differences and be more creative in our efforts to connect and communicate with those who appear to be unlike us or who perceive things differently. and nurtured and obligated him to ensure the development of others who will share the capacity to hold in trust. of individualism and the common good; perhaps more important, we are able to integrate rather than separate them. We can then better achieve a balance between them in our lives, our leadership, and our service to others.

A way to begin to identify and claim these capacities is through identifying the associations we have to the phrase Òto hold in trust.Ó When I have asked individual leaders and those with governance responsibilities to do this, their initial responses are halting but soon turn into a tumble of words, phrases, and images: Òmentor ... parent ... supplicant hands ... fiduciary ... nurture ... protect ... commitment ... balance ... holding a candle ... cradling a baby ... holding a baby bird ... believing ... responsible for the future ... accountable ... stewardship ... integrity ... security ... for the future ... continuity ... caring ... parenting ... involved ... patience ... authentic ... dependable ... courage ... love ... respect ... confidence ... knowledgeable ... compassionate ... challenged to do the best ... seeing the unrealized potential in me.Ó These words and phrases are doorways to personal stories that collectively provide a verbal portrait and a terrain of trust from which individual character is formed. Participants are asked to recall a time when they were held in trust and to answer several questions: Who held you in trust? What did they do? How were you affected by what they did? By who they were? What were the qualities and characteristics of those who held you in trust? After some time for individual reflection, participants gather in small groups to share the answers to these questions. Later in whole group discussion, I typically ask if they now have other associations to Òhold in trust,Ó and what appeared to be a comprehensive list expands to include new words, phrases, and associations that convey the more deeply personal an relational aspects of having been held in trust.

Recalling times of being held in trust can be an emotionally powerful experience; we are reminded of a time when someone accepted, understood, and cared enough about us to invest of themselves, their time, and other resources and enabled us to reach new levels in our personal and professional lives. The remembrance of these relationships brings forth a sense of thankfulness and gratitude for the gift received, and the gratitude brings with it the sense of obligation to give back to others. It calls forth a sense of duty that is absent of debilitating Òshoulds and ought to'sÓ that originate from a sense of scarcity. To live as though we are truly connected to and in relationship with strangers creates a very different sense of responsibility and community. From this connection we learn that accountability brings freedom and that loss and sacrifice bring renewal and growth.