Cuss Control: The Complete Book on How to Curb Your Cursing

by James V O'Connor

Overview

FINALLY-THE CURE FOR THE COMMON CURSE! Faced with an epidemic of profanity, our country is in need of practical suggestions for breaking a habit that has ordinary citizens contributing to the decline of civility and good manners. It's not always easy to resist the urge to cuss, but foul language creates an unfavorable image, is damaging to relationships, and goes hand-in-hand with a negative attitude.

Now, James V. O'Connor-founder of the Cuss Control Academy-offers the first book to explain why we swear and how we can learn to hold our tongues. Cuss Control doesn't call for the total elimination of swearing, just for its confinement to situations where extreme emotion (think hammer, think thumb) demand it. His program for easing us off the gutter-talk highway involves alternative "potent phrases" for classic curses, including the F-word; ways to communicate clearly rather than use lazy language; and tips on adjusting our attitude and abolishing obscenities.

Packed with practical exercises and tips, as well as thoughtful reflection on how we've worked ourselves up into such a state of affairs, Cuss Control is a refreshing celebration of the joys of a civil tongue.

"O'Connor is not ready to rid the world of dirty words. He just thinks less cursing is the key to a less stressful world, and maintains that even natural-born cursers can learn to control their anger along with their language."
-Knight-Ridder Newspapers

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780595391479
Publisher:	iUniverse, Incorporated
Publication date:	04/21/2006
Pages:	264
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.40(d)

About the Author

James V. O'Connor has operated his own public relations firm, O'Connor Communications, since 1989. He is the founder of the Cuss Control Academy and has appeared on Oprah and the CBS Evening News. He lives in Chicago.

Table of Contents

	Acknowledgments	ix
	Introduction	xi
1.	Do We Really Swear Too Much?	1
	Interview: Jeff Zimmer	14
2.	Yes, Cussing Can Be Fun	17
	Interview: Kate Doyle Brown	27
3.	Casual Cussing: The Negatives Outweigh the Positives	31
	Interview: Shelley Steward	45
4.	Causal Cussing: it's Not the Words, It's the Attitude	49
	Interview: Jane Kriwzi	62
5.	What You Say is What You Are	67
	Interview: Tim Winter	81
6.	Why Don't These People Swear?	83
7.	Cut the Shit, Now and Forever	115
	Interview: Michelle	129
8.	The F Word: Stop Me Before I Say it Again	133
	Interview: Tiffany Van Hoffman	150
9.	Names Can Really Hurt	151
	Interview: Tajada Scarbrough	167
10.	Finding Alternative Words	171
	Interview: Brenna McDonough	187
11.	Exercises for Exorcising Offensive Language	193
	Interview: Debbie Gill	206
12.	The Hard Part: Controlling Anger	209
	Interview: Ken	224
13.	Therapies to Help You	229

Editorial Reviews

Curb That Cussing

James O'Connor has a good word for everyone. As a frequent guest on "Oprah" and "CBS Evening News," O'Connor has offered the lessons of his Cuss Control Academy to millions of viewers; now his first book, Cuss Control, distills those lessons into a useful primer. In it, he considers why we curse and what the effects of our curses are. He also offers help for those who want to cut back on their curses, including lists of substitute curse words and reflections on anger management.

Cuss Control begins with an introduction to contemporary cursing. O'Connor lays out his evidence convincingly, describing the extraordinary increase in public cursing since the 1950s. From the days of women's liberation and Lenny Bruce's profane performance art, O'Connor finds that people have become almost too comfortable with obscene language. He shrugs, "Maybe swearing does make us feel good once in a while, but it doesn't earn us respect and admiration, enhance our reputation, exhibit our intelligence and maturity, display even a fraction of our acceptable vocabulary, reflect strong character, get us romantically connected, help us solve disagreements, set a positive example, or help us get hired or promoted." In short, cursing is best when the curser is in control of his words. Cuss Control offers help for those whose curses slip out too freely or who want to polish their verbal styling.

O'Connor explores the emotional origins of cursing, considering both why we curse in anger (causal swearing) and why we curse for amusement (casual swearing). He notes, "Casual swearing should be easier to eliminate than causal swearing, but like any habit, it takes time and effort [to overcome]." O'Connor notes, too, that overly free cursing can jack up tension levels in the office and the streets. It can offend others, often in ways that the curser didn't intend. For example, when workers constantly use rancid language, office morale tends to slip. As one office worker named Cindy explains, cursing can lead to mass discontent: "I was trying to help [my boss] and the company, but he stormed into my cubicle, screaming at me and saying he will say whatever he God damn feels like saying. He's a terrible person, and I have no respect for him. Nobody does."

To avoid such demoralizing moments, O'Connor suggests that cursers find alternatives for their favorite curses. He suggests all kinds of substitutes, and some are truly juicy. "Here are a few more oldies but not so baddies," he offers: Nuts! Curses! Cripes! Yikes! Criminey! Egad! Mercy! Good Grief! Gadzooks! Maybe some cursers would leave "Good Grief!" to Charlie Brown, but everyone likes to say "Gadzooks!" -- or almost everyone. And O'Connor finds even more substitutes for curses that we repeat frequently, along with simple methods for retooling habitual phrases. For example, he points out that curses can often be scooped out of sentences without causing any meaningful damage. "What [ ] is wrong?" or "How [ ___ ] should I know?" don't pack a thunderous punch, O'Connor admits, but they get the point across. He urges, "Your initial objective should be to cut back, to reduce the use, to have other people feel better about you, and for you to feel better abut yourself."

In keeping with this aim, O'Connor includes suggestions from "other people": cursers and noncursers who offer their thoughts about quitting. Often, these suggestions add a personal note to O'Connor's exercises, along with support for those struggling to quit cursing. Kate Doyle Brown, a singer with a sailor's mouth, confesses to her own failures: "When I hear people swearing I think, why do you have to talk that way? But it's stupid of me, because I talk the same way! It's such an unconscious part of my daily life." Others, like Debbie Gill, describe how they have taught themselves not to curse: "Once I made a mistake on the [tennis] court and I yelled loud enough for everyone to hear, 'Fuck!' I felt so badly about it [that] I took myself out of the game for three months. It made me realize I was losing my perspective."

In Cuss Control, O'Connor helps his readers gain some perspective on their habits and offers them easy-to-follow guidance as well. For those who want to control their word choices, O'Connor's book provides solid support. And as O'Connor points out: "If you can lower your reading on the swear-o-meter, you will be proud of yourself. Darn proud!"

—Jesse Gale

bn.com