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A lively, thought-provoking memoir about how one woman "gamed" online dating sites like JDate, OKCupid and eHarmony – and met her eventual husband.
After yet another online dating disaster, Amy Webb was about to cancel her JDate membership when an epiphany struck: It wasn’t that her standards were too high, as women are often told, but that she wasn’t evaluating the right data in suitors’ profiles. That night Webb, an award-winning journalist and digital-strategy expert, made a detailed, exhaustive list of what she did and didn’t want in a mate. The result: seventy-two requirements ranging from the expected (smart, funny) to the super-specific (likes selected musicals: Chess, Les Misérables. Not Cats. Must not like Cats!).
Next she turned to her own profile. In order to craft the most compelling online presentation, she needed to assess the competition—so she signed on to JDate again, this time as a man. Using the same gift for data strategy that made her company the top in its field, she found the key words that were digital man magnets, analyzed photos, and studied the timing of women’s messages, then adjusted her (female) profile to make the most of that intel.
Then began the deluge—dozens of men wanted to meet her, men who actually met her requirements. Among them: her future husband, now the father of her child.
Forty million people date online each year. Most don’t find true love. Thanks to Data, a Love Story, their odds just got a whole lot better.
BethanyL
Posted January 23, 2013
I met my boyfriend online.
When people are skeptical or amazed by this (especially my friends who do date online and haven’t had much luck) I tell them that online dating is easy. The hard part is being completely honest about a) who you are, and b) what you want out of online dating.
So when I heard about Data, A Love Story I was immediately intrigued. Partly because I like funny lady memoirs, partly because I’m always into people who are smart enough to game things—especially Internety things, because that requires a much higher level of math than my brain can fathom—and partly because I wanted to know how Webb was successful with online dating, since I’ve also been successful with it.
All in all, Webb’s book is a really great read: honest, funny, sad at times, and really really smart. However—the way Webb went about “gaming” online dating included making 10 male profiles and email addresses so she could scope out her female competition. Which is, you know, a little creepy, but fine. It’s fine. And then she conversed with other women on the site as a guy for “research” which bordered on Catfish for me.
I mean, it never went into “I want to be with you forever but I refuse to meet you” territory—when she was pretending to be a guy she was never ever ever saying things that would lead anyone on—but still. There’s something a little creeptastic about pretending to be not only one—but ten—different men when you are a woman. The up side to it was that Webb’s brain was doing incredible math aerobics while she collected data on not only what other women’s profiles were like, but HOW they went about conversing with me. She made word clouds, charts, graphs, spreadsheets, and things more complicated than that that caused my head to hurt just looking at them.
It’s really intense.
Overall, this is a fun read about a woman who refused to settle for someone who did not meet every piece of criteria she wanted in a husband. Luckily, she gamed online dating and in this book basically tells you how you too can do it. If you so choose. But more than that, I think every woman who reads this will identify with Amy’s frustrations and concerns and will celebrate Amy’s triumphs right along with her.
8 out of 9 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted February 1, 2013
When I found myself laughing out loud i knew this is a book for me.Brains +Humor=Love.With heartfelt love of her family, Amy did it her way.A must read for all.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted January 30, 2013
What a hoot! This is an inovative way to find love. Webb thinks outside of the box with numbers, graphs, charts and finding out what someone really wants. I found myself laughing aloud and telling my single friends to read the book.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted May 19, 2013
Just helping...
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.capebreton
Posted March 5, 2013
Thought the book was fun and insightful. Brought out a lot of the unspoken truths abou the images that are portrayed on those sites. I am guessing that at least 81% of what is on profiles is fiction. Most importantly, if we don't know who we are or what we really need we will continue a search that yields nothing but unfulfilled hopes.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Baileycat
Posted March 1, 2013
I've been through the online dating experience several times and am a bit older than Amy. The book was funny, insightful, and had some very good tips for the experience. Everyone should filter for their own age, site, and goals, but it is a fun read even if you don't go online.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted February 18, 2013
Even if you've never dated online - and have no plans to - there's tons to enjoy in this fun, entertaining read. And as someone dabbling in the online dating world myself, there was tons to relate to. Did I evaluate my online profile again after reading the book? Yep. Did I log into my dating site as a member of the opposite sex. Ummm....
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted February 8, 2013
A great combination of whit, charm, humor, and love! I read this book in 2 days. I could not put it down. Yes, Ms. Webb shows a little bit of OCD in her but who doen't have a little bit in them. I am telling all of my friends to get out and get this book!
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted March 19, 2013
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Overview
A lively, thought-provoking memoir about how one woman "gamed" online dating sites like JDate, OKCupid and eHarmony – and met her eventual husband.
After yet another online dating disaster, Amy Webb was about to cancel her JDate membership when an epiphany struck: It wasn’t that her standards were too high, as women are often told, but that she wasn’t evaluating the right data in suitors’ profiles. That night Webb, an award-winning journalist and digital-strategy expert, made a...