Date Like a Man: What Men Know about Dating and Are Afraid You'll Find Out

Date Like a Man: What Men Know about Dating and Are Afraid You'll Find Out

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by Myreah Moore, Jodie Gould
     
 

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Do you get depressed every time a date turns out to be a dud? Are you devastated when you don't get "the call" from a guy you like? Do you constantly check your dates out for marriage potential? Chances are you're taking dating way too seriously. According to Myreah Moore — "America's Dating Coach" — women need to start dating to have fun, which is what

Overview

Do you get depressed every time a date turns out to be a dud? Are you devastated when you don't get "the call" from a guy you like? Do you constantly check your dates out for marriage potential? Chances are you're taking dating way too seriously. According to Myreah Moore — "America's Dating Coach" — women need to start dating to have fun, which is what men have been doing for ages! In fact, Moore says, dating is a lot like a science. And with any scientific experiment, it's trial and error. In Date Like a Man, she steals dating secrets from men (the masters of dating) and transforms them into a personal training program that will boost your dating prospects — and increase your chances of finding a soul mate.

Clear, candid, and empowering, Date Like a Man makes the manhunt fun — the way it should be. Even if you think you're a dating expert, you'll devour this manual — the new bible for surviving and thriving in today's world.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780060932916
Publisher:
HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:
01/28/2001
Pages:
256
Sales rank:
323,202
Product dimensions:
5.31(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.57(d)

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Part I

The Warm-Up: Preparing to Date Like a Man

Why Men Are the Master Daters

You've tried The Rules, you've tried listening to your married friends, and you've even tried listening to your mother. But you're still eating Chinese takeout with your good Friends Monica, Rachel, Ross and Chandler. So how is dating like a man going to change your social life?

Let's start by going back to our cave-dwelling ancestors. According to David Buss, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, men's reproductive drives cause them to value a woman's youth and physical appearance, and to seek out a variety of sex partners.

Women, in contrast, place a higher premium on a mate's ambition, industriousness and social status to help ensure the survival of the species. Like it or not, these basic biological needs still influence the way men and women date today.

In addition, boys learn from day one how to bond with other children through sports. Sports teach boys how to be competitive and work as a team. Above all, sports encourage them to get out of the house and have fun.

Although many girls growing up today are involved in team sports and have parents who teach them that education, career and self-exploration are also priorities, they are still getting the societal message that love relationships are paramount in their lives.

This fact was confirmed in a recent study conducted at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Dr. Karen D. Rudolph, assistant professor of psychology, found that the majority of stress for girls between the ages of eight and eighteen was caused byrelationship problems, including fights with their siblings and friends. (Boys were more likely to be stressed about doing poorly in school, getting sick, moving to a new town or getting into trouble.)Now, I'm not saying that relationships aren't important; men want them, too. But guys also know that having a full life means reaching out beyond your small circle of friends, family and community.

One of the advantages of getting out into the world is discovering what you like and what you don't like. You might also find that nine times out of ten, you're not who you think you are.

Remember the disco queen from the seventies, Donna Summer? She grew up in a large family headed by a preacher father who wanted Donna to stay close to home and sing gospel for his church. But Donna knew in her heart that although she was deeply religious and loved her family, she needed to perform on a larger stage.

She tried the stay-at-home role with her first husband, and felt trapped and miserable. So Donna finally decided to pursue her dream of becoming a pop singer. Sure, there were bad times and bad relationships along the way, but she is now happily remarried with several children and wonderful memories of a career in the spotlight.

Like young birds that need to test their wings, women have got to get out into the world before they start a nest of their own. Remember: Men don't settle down until they find themselves. Women don't settle down until they find a man. Find yourself first, then settle.

Men Know What They Want and Need (And How to Get Those Wants and Needs Met)

I told you in the previous section why it's important to find yourself before you find a man. To do this, you must get out in the world and experience as much as possible. At the same time, however, there are exercises that you must do by yourself and for yourself. I call this doing the inner work.

Doing the inner work is an essential part of dating like a man. Men tend to know exactly they want from a career and from a woman. When I asked a young man named Brian how he saw himself in ten years, he described his house, car, wife and breed of dog in full detail. He had already started saving up to buy that snazzy white Corvette.

Women need to train themselves to focus more clearly on their future goals. Every athlete must train before he or she competes. Doing the inner work is training your mind instead of your body. As your personal dating coach, I will show you why doing the inner work will help you identify what your goals are (your needs) and how you can have those needs met.

First, take out a legal pad, a pencil and a timer or stopwatch. Draw a line down the middle of the paper. On one side write "Wants" and on the other side write "Needs."

Set your timer for ten minutes (I don't want you to agonize over this exercise). Start with the "Wants" list. Write down the characteristics that you want in a mate. If you're done quickly, number them in order of importance, with #1 being the most important.

Be as specific as possible. If you want a man to be tall, do you mean over six feet, or taller than you? Do not censor yourself. Let your heart take control of your mind. Don't worry if your list seems foolish or trivial. If it matters to you, write it down. Remember, if you don't write it down, you won't get what you want. Also, this is your wish list, not your mother's or your girlfriend's or your Aunt Julie's.

Here's a sample list that my client Laura made.

Wants

1.Handsome, clean-shaven
2.Over thirty-five
3.Friend first
4.Humorous
5.Educated
6.Politically aware
7.Have a cause in life
8.Christian
9.Kind to animals
10.Kind to kids (will accept my child)
11.Kind to less fortunate people
12.Positive attitude
13.Likes nature walks, shows and aquariums
14.A gentleman
15.Respectful (doesn't curse)
16.Likes to travel

Meet the Author

As "America's Dating Coach," Myreah Moore has helped thousands of women find their soul mates through her personal training sessions and public seminars. Her national television appearances include Sally Jessy Raphael, Leeza, Ricki Lake, Maury, and Geraldo.

Jodie Gould is an author and writer specializing in relationships and popular culture. Her articles have appeared in Cosmopolitan, Elle, Redbook, the New York Times Syndicate and others.

As "America's Dating Coach," Myreah Moore has helped thousands of women find their soul mates through her personal training sessions and public seminars. Her national television appearances include Sally Jessy Raphael, Leeza, Ricki Lake, Maury, and Geraldo.

Jodie Gould is an author and writer specializing in relationships and popular culture. Her articles have appeared in Cosmopolitan, Elle, Redbook, the New York Times Syndicate and others.

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Date Like a Man 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 31 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
All the praise wouldn't be enough! You just have to read it. Very easy and fun read. She obviously done lot of research becasuse she really gives accurate discription of all the different types of guys. Guys you should avoid, date and marry. I really liked the way she first prepares you then she gets you to date and then get to marriage. I wish I had this book in my teens, I could have certainly avoided few scums of my life. Thank you Myreah for all your wisdom.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Another dating book that has a different angle - it's all okay, but not terrific. It simply doesn't hold your interest except for the initial idea, which is good. There are so many dating books - need to really stand out from the others... and this isn't special enough.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is a must read for single women. I wish I had it when I was dating in college. I'm in my thirties now and still dating. This information is very useful and practical.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is insightful, honest, and FUNNY. It is written in a conversational vernacular, as if you were at lunch with a close friend who was giving you tips -- which was a definite break from the more clinical, 'do this, do that' dating books out there. It definitely gives a fresh perspective; instead of giving tips on how to 'land' a man, the authors focus mainly on how to have fun being single and just DATING -- without the main goal being someone's girlfriend. A truly enlightening and interesting read!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is an excellent book. Its great for a woman getting back into dating or for the experienced. Simple, to the point, very thorough, and ideas of how to network. It taught me all the things that I needed and showed me what I was doing wrong. No woman should be without this book!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I read this book in 2001 & started testing the guidelines for dating immediately. I had a different date for lunch & dinner every day for 2 months. I had to get past taking dating so seriously. Now, I'm head-over-heels in love with my husband. We were married in 2005. Now, we have a son who I love with all of my heart. I have purchased several copies for friends, & the ones who read it and took it seriously are in wonderful relationships.
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I purchased this book before a break up and the day, I received the book- my boyfriend broke up with me. Coincidence? I think not. This is a great read and very useful for women new to the dating world.
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Lisa Irving More than 1 year ago
i enjoy the book because didnt talk down to the reader.
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Guest More than 1 year ago
Before I purchased this book I would look at every date like I wanted to marry them(desperation) and men could sense it right away. After reading the book, I have so much fun dating and I am in control not the guy. Men are asking me out everywhere I go. I don't look so needy anymore and my confidence is much better.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I found this booked helped me alot! It goes to say though that you should play the games that guys do and although I could of tried, I just can't do that to another person I mean what they do to us. But it does tell alot about how guys are.