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Date Your Wife

Date Your Wife

4.0 1
by Justin Buzzard

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An Intensely Practical Guide for Husbands Looking to Strengthen, Save, or Spice up Their Marriage

Most men don’t know how to date their wives. They did it before, but they’ve forgotten how, or they’re trying but it just doesn’t seem to be working. Justin Buzzard helps men re-learn this all-important


An Intensely Practical Guide for Husbands Looking to Strengthen, Save, or Spice up Their Marriage

Most men don’t know how to date their wives. They did it before, but they’ve forgotten how, or they’re trying but it just doesn’t seem to be working. Justin Buzzard helps men re-learn this all-important skill from a position of security in the gospel of grace. As a father of three boys and husband to a very happy wife, Justin offers guys a helping hand, good news, and wise counsel, along with:

  • 100 practical ideas for how to date your wife
  • Action steps at the end of each chapter
  • Personal stories and real-life examples

All types of marriages—good ones, mediocre ones, and bad ones—will experience a jumpstart as a result of hearing, believing, and living the message of Date Your Wife.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Hey, husbands—do you want to recapture that romantic spark you felt early on in your marriage? Buzzard, a popular author, speaker, and a pastor in Silicon Valley, offers advice to married men on wooing their wives in the same way they did during courtship. He posits that “dating your wife” implies taking initiative in the relationship; not getting lazy; treating your wife with respect and dignity; and remembering the fascination that drew you to her initially. This is all helpful advice, especially for younger couples whose “honeymoon effect” is fading. But this also comes with a particular religious worldview. Lest one think that a marriage is between two parties, however, the author makes clear that he believes the best and most successful unions are God-centered. This may make sense to some; other potential readers will find the author’s conservative Christian theology arguable. His belief that Adam and Eve were historical figures and the first married couple will lose credibility with all but ardent Christian conservatives. At other points, the author’s tone is condescending and close to sexist. Still, the practical advice, such as that offered in the appendix with 100 ideas for dating your wife, could be a positive catalyst toward a healthy marriage for all who want more advice than theology. (June)

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What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“Finally, here is a book that will not make men feel guilty.”
Gary Chapman, author, The Five Love Languages

“For several years after retiring as a player in the NFL, I 'kept my helmet on', as my wife, Kim, would say. I only saw what I wanted to see and only heard what I wanted to hear about all that she was dealing with as the mother of our seven kids. Finally, I took the helmet off and learned how to really hear and see her. Had I only had this book ten years ago, we could have saved countless disagreements and discussions! It's a must for husbands who long to raise the communication and intimacy levels in their marriage.”
Mike Singletary, NFL Hall of Fame Linebacker

“Whether you’ve been married a few days or 50 years, Date Your Wife is well worth the read. Justin Buzzard shows us the first step to loving your wife isn’t to try harder—it’s to be empowered by the gospel. Date Your Wife gives you biblical advice and practical tips that will transform your marriage.”
Jim Daly, President, Focus on the Family

“Finally here is a book to put in a man’s hands that doesn’t tell him ten things to do to meet his wife’s needs. Instead, Date Your Wife gives men a whole new paradigm for marriage: a paradigm of grace, freeing men to approach life and their wife in a whole new way. Once men understand this, everything changes.”
Paul David Tripp, president, Paul Tripp Ministries; author, What Did You Expect?

“This book is for every man who wants a lifelong romance with his wife. Surely that is God’s good will. It’s why we fully expect God’s blessing to be on this book. Date Your Wife could be how your romance is renewed for keeps.”
Ray and Jani Ortlund, Renewal Ministries

“Passionate. Personal. Practical. Poignant. Priceless. Thank you, Justin Buzzard, for reminding us of the passion and intentionality with which we pursued our wives while dating. Why should keeping our marriage covenant be any less passionate and intentional?”
James MacDonald, Pastor, Harvest Bible Chapel, Rolling Meadows, Illinois; author, Vertical Church

“I want every man I know to read this book. Date Your Wife has the power to emancipate men and liberate marriages.”
Mark Batterson, Lead Pastor, National Community Church, Washington, DC; author, Wild Goose Chase and Soulprint

“In this book, Justin has done wives a great service. After being pursued by a husband who’s promised to love them, many wives have found that their husbands are now busy pursuing other things—from the NFL to corporate business plans—and that his interests really lie elsewhere. Justin offers the practical help and encouragement that men need to live out the depth of the vows they’ve made. He does all of this in the milieu of God’s grace to us through Jesus Christ. So thankful for Justin and how the Lord will use this book in many lives!”
Elyse M. Fitzpatrick, counselor; speaker; author, Found in Him

“For a young, married man like myself, this is a much needed reminder! Date Your Wife encourages me to man up, trust Jesus, and love my wife well. I encourage all husbands to go grab a copy.”
Trip Lee, hip-hop artist; author, The Good Life; pastor, Cornerstone Church, Atlanta

“Don’t you dare think Date Your Wife is a ‘been there, done that’ book. It’s revealing, eye opening, and inspiring. It’s fresh. I am certain Date Your Wife will positively alter thousands of couple’s futures. As a husband for 38 years, I applaud Justin Buzzard’s work and I would put it in the hands of every man I could!”
Wayne Cordeiro, Senior Pastor, New Hope Christian Fellowship, Honolulu, Hawaii

“I need a book like this! I’m often in fits and starts trying to regularly date my wife, so I’m glad the Lord has given Justin Buzzard the vision and insight to write Date Your Wife for strugglers like me!”
Thabiti M. Anyabwile, Pastor, Anacostia River Church, Washington, D. C.; author, What Is a Healthy Church Member?

“Men, we desperately need this book, and our wives desperately need us to read it. This isn’t just a book about marriage, it’s a book about being a man who loves the gospel, lives the gospel, and leads his wife and children with the gospel. Married or single, young or old—if you’re a man—get this book, read this book, and then get a copy for every man you know.”
Burk Parsons, Copastor, Saint Andrew’s Chapel, Sanford, Florida; Editor, Tabletalk magazine

“I am thrilled about this book for several reasons, first of all, my brother, Justin, thoroughly gets the gospel of God’s grace, and it decorates every page of this book. Second, he’s intentional about loving his wife well, and, therefore, we need Justin’s tribe to increase exponentially. Third, his book is so incredibly practical. He’s left me without excuse! Last, Justin’s writing, heart, and wisdom make me so glad to know that Jesus is the spouse I always wanted, and that, by his grace, I can love my wife as he loves me. This book, like my brother, rocks!”
Scotty Smith, Teacher in Residence, West End Community Church, Nashville, Tennessee

“I am a big fan of Justin Buzzard and this book. I champion any call for men to step out of passivity and dominate the things that matter most—Date Your Wife beckons me as a man to do just that. The primacy of being a great husband is undeniable in Scripture and I appreciate this gospel-centered, practical, and powerful resource to help us men step up in the most noble of all roles. I pray God uses Date Your Wife to call up a generation of men who are first and foremost great husbands. I can think of no greater gift to our children, our churches, and our cities than men whose wives are pursued well and have marriages that flourish and go the distance.”
John Wiley Bryson, Co-Founder and Teaching Pastor, Fellowship Memphis, Memphis, Tennessee; Leadership Coach, Fellowship Associates

“Otis Redding sang ‘Try a little tenderness’ and some husbands want to—but don’t know how. Justin Buzzard gives sound theological and practical advice. If more husbands learn to date their wives and, through God’s grace, truly love them, many marriages will be saved.”
Marvin Olasky, Editor in Chief, World Magazine

“Justin reveals a gift for combining challenge with encouragement. In Date Your Wife, he manages to propose provocative and practical ideas without making me feel like a marriage dunce. So, I hereby confer to Justin the title of ‘Professor of Creative Marriage.’ May his students learn well!”
Greg Spencer, Professor of Communication Studies, Westmont College; author, Awakening the Quieter Virtues

Meet the Author

Justin Buzzard (MDiv, Fuller Theological Seminary) is the founder and lead pastor of Garden City Church in Silicon Valley. Justin writes about culture and the church at JustinBuzzard.net, speaks widely at conferences nationwide, and is part of the Acts 29 Church Planting Network. He lives in Silicon Valley with his wife, Taylor, and their three sons.

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Date Your Wife 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 2 reviews.
tmurrell2 More than 1 year ago
This is a husband's guide to dating his wife. Most men stop dating their spouse when the marriage vows are said. Mr. Buzzard wrote this book to encourage men to step up and begin dating their wives again. I'm the wife, not the husband, so wasn't sure what this book would be like from my perspective. But it was really well written. I enjoyed the stories and the his basic way of encouraging men to step it up. It is a relatively small book so men (like my husband) will not get bogged down in the details. It has easy "instructions" to follow and is fun to read. At the end of the book is a small chapter written by Mrs. Buzzard to the wives. I'm passing this book on to my husband in the hope that he will enjoy it as well. I received this book free of charge from Crossway in exchange for my honest review.
bennash More than 1 year ago
Justin's words are SO inspiring, encouraging, practical, and Gospel centered! I'm single, but I'm so glad I read this before I got married. I will most likely read this again when I get married someday. The theme of the book is "If you want to change the marriage, change the man. And God changes the man." He asks a question to his readers: "How many married couples can you think of that have a thriving marriage that makes other people want to get married?" I thought of about 2. Most people he asked answered with 1-2. This book aims to change that. I highly recommend this book to any single and married men! Women - go ahead and read it as well if you like.