The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name Is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Love-aholic

The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name Is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Love-aholic

3.8 93
by Jennifer Love Hewitt

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For any woman who has ever bought a self-help book and wondered why she bothered. (P.S. Now that I know he's just not that into me, where do I go from there? Yeah, thanks for that advice.)

Jennifer Love Hewitt is a self-proclaimed "love-aholic" and hopeless romantic (her middle name is Love, after all!). She has been lucky and unlucky in love, and lived


For any woman who has ever bought a self-help book and wondered why she bothered. (P.S. Now that I know he's just not that into me, where do I go from there? Yeah, thanks for that advice.)

Jennifer Love Hewitt is a self-proclaimed "love-aholic" and hopeless romantic (her middle name is Love, after all!). She has been lucky and unlucky in love, and lived to tell—and she's done it all in the spotlight. Much has been written about her love life—some true, most made up to sell magazines. Now Hewitt shares the real story of what she's learned navigating the dangerous dating waters.

In The Day I Shot Cupid, Hewitt offers her hard-won wisdom and tells us how to embrace love with both feet on the ground. First, we have to shoot Cupid. We have to believe that happily-ever-after is hard work—it's not all flowers and symphonies and floating hearts.

Wise and wry and refreshingly honest, Hewitt talks about how to pick the right guy and how to know when to let the wrong ones go free, and she offers some surprising truths about the opposite sex.

From twenty things to do after a breakup, to ten things to do before a date, to the perils of text flirting (Note: You are waiting. By the phone. For his response.), Hewitt uses stories and dating secrets to illustrate the idiotic, romantic, crazy, depressing, hilarious, awkward, glorious moments we all experience in relationships. Funny, quirky, and empowering, The Day I Shot Cupid deserves a place on every woman's nightstand, bookshelf, or coffee table, or tucked inside her oversized designer handbag.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
In this scattershot celebrity self-help, actress Hewitt puts an irreverent but unconvincing personal spin on The Rules. Hewitt muses on her personal experience as a "serial dater," drawing lessons and telling tales from her extensive experience with romantic disappointment. Too often, that results in overgeneralization-the three types of men (macho, metrosexual, and heroic), the 17 stages of relationship (from "the eye contact" to "the engaged")-or unfocused, supremely unhelpful anecdotes (cheering herself after a break-up by un-ironically getting her "hoo-ha" adorned with Swarovski crystals). Advice, what there is, is largely vague and of secondary importance, recycling familiar approaches to respecting oneself in mind and body and keeping your man on his toes; first and foremost, the book's subject is Hewitt, which should limit its appeal to her most ardent fans.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Library Journal
Just for fun comes actor and self-proclaimed "love-aholic" Hewitt's book on letting go of idealistic childhood romantic fantasies in order to embrace strong, realistic, and mature relationships. Using her experience, she contrasts old school and new school dating, talks about surviving a breakup, and offers consolation on broken diets and varicose veins. Single young women will find a kindred spirit, while older readers will discover what's happening in today's dating world.
From the Publisher
"Young women will find a kindred spirit, while older [listeners] will discover what's happening in today's dating world." —Library Journal

Product Details

Hachette Books
Publication date:
Product dimensions:
5.00(w) x 7.30(h) x 0.90(d)
Age Range:
18 Years

Read an Excerpt

The Day I Shot Cupid

Hello, My Name Is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Love-aholic
By Jennifer Love Hewitt


Copyright © 2010 Love Songs, Inc.
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4013-4112-1

Chapter One

Cereal Dater (and not Cocoa Puffs)

Serial dater-it's like a bad KICK ME sign on my back. It's not a cute little nickname my girlfriends gave me for laughs. It's a nickname given to me at least a thousand times in major magazines, television shows, and articles that are supposed to be talking about my work. And, oh yeah, the people who said it DON'T KNOW ME! I cannot even tell you how many times I've been reading an article, happy with what they have written, focusing on all the right things, and then, like the clap, it appears, serial dater. The term I have come to be permanently perplexed by.

What does it mean? That I date men and kill them? Yes, I have dated a lot, not on purpose, by the way. I would have loved to have met my soul mate in fourth grade and never looked back. Not my fate obviously. So, I have dated, not any different from anyone else, except my entire dating history has been documented by the press. So I ask only this: please wipe serial dater off the books and think of me as a girl who is looking for love just like you.

Balls, a Dress, or a Dress That Hides Our Balls

I will never forget the time a guy I was seeing told me to leave my bails at home before our date. I didn't understand what he meant. When he explained, it made sense. I was trying to control our dates like business meetings, moving too fast, as if I had an agenda to get through and couldn't talk about anything else but work (okay, I still had a lot of growing up to do). It's true, during the day, for my career, business, and personal strength, in essence I strap a pair on as armor, but then at night, I want to be soft, girly, and taken care of. Although I understood what he meant, I was insulted. Why can't there be four balls in a relationship and two of them be mine? Then, after the silent treatment, kicking him a thousand times in my mind and a movie, I realized something: My theoretical balls were taking away his chance to be the guy. He wanted to step up and let me be the girl I so wanted to be, but my balls were blocking the way. I had to be willing to be the softer, not so feisty version of myself to get what he and I both wanted. Ah, such a nice thought ... for about a week.

QUESTION: Why can't we be strong, self-assured, tough, sometimes even scrappy, and still be treated like a girl? Or ... why don't we choose the men who will let us be that? Which brought me to my big question: WHAT DO WE WANT? THE BALLS, THE DRESS, OR THE DRESS THAT HIDES OUR BALLS?

To be honest, I still go back and forth. Every time I watch an old movie I want to be the damsel in distress in a dress (think King Kong and Jessica Lange). Every time I watch a Julia Roberts movie I want the dress and balls (oh yeah, I'm talking about Pretty Woman). Every time I watch Oprah I just want a big pair. Sometimes I'm great at being a girl and other times I find myself playing his part and mine. But I am making a decision right here and now. I think hiding all of that power under a knock-out Miu Miu sundress is the way to go!

What we forget is every one of us is great just because of who we are. If you feel strong, you will be strong. We have curves that make even the greatest designers' clothes look better (even though they usually show them on sticks). When our hair blows the right way in the wind we can stop traffic. We glow when they sweat. We can do a hundred and fifty things at once and, oh yeah, bleed every month. And on our best day we are the one thing that can leave a man speechless. So be strong, have personal power-good God, roar if you have to! But a couple of nights a week try letting it all be your undergarment and on top put a dress, perfume, some sparkle powder, and a little willingness to let him lead.

Macho, Metro, or Hero

(and then there were three ... types, that is)


He plays lots of sports, worships his guy friends, loves beer, and is always planning an adventure that has you dangling from ropes. He will never be as sensitive as you want. He's the brawny guy, super strong, who makes you feel protected. He has strong lips and makes you remember the guys you dreamed of when you were eight.


Oh dear God! He's the guy none of us ever pictured. Metrosexual? What does that even mean?! Who knew it would be okay for your boyfriend to have as many hair products as you, order diet Coke while you order regular, spend more than you do on the finest fabrics, and take all your tissues at the hot romantic comedy. They are sensitive, aware of your feelings, and fulfill the more yin-yang needs in your relationship (they can also be one parking spot over from your gay best friend).


He is a gentleman who opens your door and knows the importance of a flower. He is not afraid to let you see him cry, plans dates for you when you least expect it, still believes in a good love letter, can admit that he has watched you sleep, and dresses up for you so you feel like the luckiest girl in the room. He wants to understand what romance means to you and make it happen. He lets you be strong and loves when you are weak. He is the one you wait for and think you will never find. And sometimes, sadly, he is the one in front of us who we miss.

The good news is none of these are bad choices. The bad news is we kind of want parts of all three. So how do we get that? If I knew. I would be the eighth wonder of the world! Maybe, for now, we should open our minds, let down our defenses, and try to see it from their side. Women are very complicated-I say this part carefully-maybe it's not always the guy's fault. There is someone out there for all of us, 1 really do believe that. But instead of looking for perfection, look for happiness, because remember, as women, we can also get it wrong. And our so-called perfect mirror can be turned on us at any moment and, oh God, we do not want to see that! Let's look at each other with love and respect and find the one who is right for us, not the one who is perfect.

Dumbfounded Genitals, or Who Took My Mojo?

Just when we think guys don't think of us, they do. Except it's not how wonderful or complex we are. They think, "What'd I do now?" Or "Will I ever make her happy?" Kind of sweet, right? Or are they just lost and ready to give up? I've talked to some guys, and until the girl figures out her woman, the boy can't figure out his man. OLD SCHOOL VS. NEW SCHOOL seems to be their biggest complaint.


When a guy asked for your phone number and just couldn't wait until the next day to call, he was peachy, dreamy, and so cute! If a guy asked for your number and waited to call, he was shy or respectful. You would sweat with excitement and anticipation!


If a guy calls the next day, he's desperate, hard up, or a stalker. If he waits a while to call, he's a player, man-whoring himself out to skanks, or "he's just not that into you." P.S. Now that I know he's just not that into me, where do I go from there? Yeah, thanks for that advice.

Old-School DINNER

A woman would maybe offer to go dutch for dinner (that means each pays half). But most of the time she would never even think of paying and would be grateful that a nice young man had treated her to dinner.

New-School DINNER

If a guy suggests going dutch, he's a moocher, broke, using you, and probably won't get to date number two. If he pays sometimes, you thank him. But other times, it's "Why? You don't think I can pay for dinner? I have a job. I'm not your little woman."

Old-School ROMANCE

If a guy was romantic or made a fool of himself for love, he was husband material, well raised, and the one you had been looking for.

New-School ROMANCE

If a guy is too romantic or makes a fool of himself for love, it's "Did you cheat on me? Is that why you're being so nice? Are you gay? Are you a stalker? Or, I know, you just want in my pants!"

Now, although these examples are extreme and do not represent all women, they do happen and we do seem that crazy to guys. So maybe we should step back and think for a minute. Have we gone too far? Is it necessary to fight so hard when it comes to love? Are we so used to fighting for our position as women that we don't know when to quit? And here's the big one: Are we risking our chance at being the girl? Guys are lost and need our help. We have to decide what we want and how we want it in order for them to give it to us. We have to be clear and decisive (some of us may have to look up the definitions of clear and decisive). So here is something to try. Before you go out with him the next time, make a decision about who you are as a woman in love. Do you want to be the girl? Do you want to be the boss? Or do you want to be his equal (remember that whole dress that hides our balls thing)? And you also have to decide if you want a man who is just trying to please you, a man who is scared, or a man who is being himself. Once you decide, stick to it. Show him in words or actions-your choice-what kind of man your woman needs.

If you want to be the girl, then fight hard all day, be a pit bull, whatever, but when he picks you up or gets home, melt into his arms and make him think he can take care of everything. Show him Hugh Grant movies (so he can learn some modern-day romance moves). Let him open the door. Let him be himself. Don't be weak, but let him be the hero. He might just become the man you want.

If you want to be the boss, then go out and find someone who is confident enough in himself to handle your strong woman. Let him know that sometimes you want to call the shots and don't complain if he lets you. It's your world, little miss bossy, he just lives in it.

If you want to be his equal, then explain it to him. You want romance, but you don't want to lose your power. You want to pay for dinner sometimes, but you also want him to surprise you. You don't want him to do things for you; you want him to do things with you.

I'm not saying this will cure all in the dating world, but if men and women would tell each other some of the things they tell their friends, it would be more honest and maybe more of the relationship we are looking for. Don't get me wrong, some guys (and some women for that matter) will just never get it. But some, with a little help, just might. I think life and love can be what you make them. Figure out what you want out of love and life and go get it. If your guy or girl doesn't fit those things, then find someone who will. We can no longer assume men know what we want; they don't. So instead of fighting only for ourselves, maybe love is fighting for each other. And maybe real love is something we shouldn't have to fight so damn hard for.


Excerpted from The Day I Shot Cupid by Jennifer Love Hewitt Copyright © 2010 by Love Songs, Inc.. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.


What People are saying about this

From the Publisher
"Young women will find a kindred spirit, while older [listeners] will discover what's happening in today's dating world." —-Library Journal

Meet the Author

Jennifer Love Hewitt began her acting career as a child by appearing in television commercials and the Disney Channel series Kids Incorporated. She rose to fame in teenage popular culture via her role as Sarah Reeves in the Fox series Party of Five, and as Julie James in the film I Know What You Did Last Summer and its sequel. In addition to acting, Hewitt has also served as a producer on certain film or television projects. Currently, she can be seen on the CBS television program Ghost Whisperer as Melinda Gordon, a young woman who can communicate with the ghosts of the dead. She recently added director to her resume when she directed an episode of GW.

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Day I Shot Cupid 3.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 93 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I must say, I've read a few "Self-Help" books in my time. Usually, I'll read about halfway through and honestly, get bored and slam it shut. It gets exhausting, reading psycho-babble from professionals that want to tell you how to be in relationships or whatever else they may think they know. Jennifer Love Hewitt does an amazing job depicting what love is like, her experiences, and her views. She doesn't say "Be like this" or "Don't be like this" she only offers her opinions and experiences. I have to say this is by far the best "Self-Help" book I have ever read. It is not only inspiring, but it is a terrific pick-me-up even for those self-conscious girls out there that are already in relationships. It's not only about how to handle breakups and what to do when dating, it also tells you a little about how to be comfortable in your own skin. I would recommend this to any woman at any age.
greengirl38 More than 1 year ago
Gives you some insight and answers into JLH's dating/love life. Some funny and relateable stories and depending on the reader, some good advice. It was very light reading almost like a short essay. There were some points, however I didn't agree with as they sounded too jaded.
Blue-Diva More than 1 year ago
In her first attempt as an author JLH's captivating personality radiates through every chapter. JLH provides women with various insights; from the art of vagazzaling to twenty tips to surviving a breakup. JLH lends voice to the complex and at times funny world of dating in your 30's. Much attention has been played to her physique and JLH demonstrates her ability to find humor through the curvaceous self portraits found at the beginning of each chapter. Her ex-beau Jamie Kennedy dedicates a chapter to the female derriere. Although the book seems geared to women, the section entitled Fun Little Extras offers dating advice to both sexes. The Day I Shot Cupid is an enjoyable read, but it does leave you wondering, who exactly was the inspiration for the chapter entitled Skid Mark?
Jessica30 More than 1 year ago
So much better than "He's Just Not That Into You" because it explains what to do after you already know that! She did a fabulous job in writing this book. It was a great investment and I think every woman should own a copy.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love Jennifer! She is amazimg. I watch you show Ghost Whipsperer all the time. And every ti,e that i am on you tube i dont watch music videos i watch Ghost Whisperer! Not kidding..... why did the show end! Plus I am about to get all the booksthat they wrote about you on Ghost Whisperer! I am your number 1 fan!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is what isaid to my mom when they ended ur show " Mom they just cancled my favorute show tell them to put they show back on or some butts will be kicked. I <3 you Jennifer Love Hewitt!!!!! <3 <3
ChristinaRay01 More than 1 year ago
I really like this book its perfect for younger girls who barely started dating or who are already in relationships. I like her point of views on how to maintain a relationship its realistic and can be very helpful to those who aren't that great with relationships. Its a little short but it was meant to be a small book so you can go back and reference it just for fun. Also its a very easy read and I think most people will find her endearing.
francescaFD More than 1 year ago
great book for mothers to give to daugthers and or mothers to share with daughters to talk over sunday breakfast..... as a 50 something, reader i will be telling my freinds to read this enjoyable female book .... i love the author love her show love her book.. it was the 1st book i read on my nook....
AmberDini More than 1 year ago
I got through this book in no time, it is very easy to read, and most of it kept my interest. Although I am not sure why someone who is writing about her bad relationships lets her current boyfriend write a section of said book. It was also the most annoying section: it went back and forth between him and her. Luckily he is only a short part of it, and she is much funnier than him. All in all, I am not sure I am happy about how much I paid for the book, since it was such a quick read. I was a sort-of fan of JLH before, and now I can appreciate she is a real person, and seems like a really nice girl you could actually be friends with.
Belinda_Apple More than 1 year ago
This book is amazing; it really helped me put my life in perspective, not just my love life but the rest as well. The perspective in which the book is written is as if JLH is conversing with you rather that you reading her thoughts. That point of view really aided in my absorption of the incredible information that this book holds, because it wasn't like having someone tell me what they think I'm doing wrong in life. This book also helped me increase my self esteem by a lot. I am forever grateful to JLH. This book can be helpful to both men and women of adult ages. It isn't too long and is a surprisingly upbeat book.
wheeze More than 1 year ago
I got this book right after a big breakup with a boyfriend, hoping it would lift me up a little. Boy, i was wrong. It was boring, dull and reminded me of a what a third grader would write. I expected it to be in chapters, nothing huge, but a normal book. Instead, it was a mix of lists and tiny paragraphs that went on a rant. NOT worth the money in my eyes. The things I write in her book my grandma could have told me. In her "What not to do after you break up" one option was to not call him, no duh. Ladies, or even men, move on past this book.. unless you want something to add to your bookshelf to make it look cool.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Jennifer shares her story and it is very nice to have an author share her true life to connect. It was enjoyable and motivating...
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
i've always been a fan of jennifer love hewitt. after reading the book i realized this is what almost every woman goes through. even celebrities! her stories were similar to mine and gave me a new outlook on love & relationships. although most of the advice given is common sense. makes a great gift for your girlfriends.
Sicilianwoman82 More than 1 year ago
the book is the best thing that an actress can very wrote a book. I love to read it. It is sometime hard to put the book down. Love it very much. Jennifer Love Hewitt is the best writter for an actress to write about her self and the relationships that she has had and the idea to help other women who need a good time when it comes to reading a book about rlationships. I love the book and the writter.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
THis was a good read to remind ourselves as women that sometimes we just have to let go and move forward. Not to be so emotionally expressive and to excercise a little more patience as we enter into new relationships. We are still as foreign to men as they are to us women. Overall I enjoyed the book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
it was great to read. it feels like she's really talking to you and she gives advice thats helped her through tough times. its a must have fo every girl and heck for guys too. (that way we'll be less confusing) ;)
MMPRlover More than 1 year ago
It was good. Very informative. I hope it will help me with dating.
Melissa Batista 6 months ago
As a interpersonal and relational communications major this book was not based on any scholarly information on relationships. I agree that it is more of a self help book if you recently went through a breakup, but many of the information Hewitt gives is inaccurate. For example, she provides a list of positive steps that relationships take, but fails to include the negative steps that are mixed in like fights. The 3 types of men that she lists are very stereotypical. She provides information on how she got over her break up and that it will work for everyone, but that is simply not true. Every person is different and reacts to things differently. Hewitt took her personal experiences and made them into a book, but provided no further research or scholarly evidence to back up anything she says. If you are looking for relationship advice this book will do you no good.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Wonderful insight and advice about love, so funny too!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Thanks for sexting me that va ja ja pic, i know it wasn t meant for me but i ll treasure it always. Already have it archived and dont worry i wont sell it to anybody thanks
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great book
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Loved it! I found it so halarious because we all go through it. Half the time we believe we are alone in what we feel, we need to remember that everyone goes through it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
KrittersRamblings More than 1 year ago
Short, sweet and to the point. This little book is chock full of tips, thoughts and ideas about dating and break ups. As a young lady that is in a relationship, I even enjoyed the reminder to be a little mysterious and to appreciate the good guy that I have in my life. Jennifer Love Hewitt has been in the spotlight from a young age and so has her love life. Through this book she allows the reader a little behind the scenes peek into how she approaches new relationships and endures the break up. Even an ex (Jamie Kennedy) makes an appearance with a chapter on women's rear ends. I loved the women empowerment and the message that we are complete people even if we aren't in relationships. If I didn't live with a boy, this would be the perfect book to put on the back of the toilet to encourage guests to pick up some relationship tips. I would almost compare this to a modern day Rules book where women can go to for the basic tips that a woman should now before, during and after a relationship.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago