- Shopping Bag ( 0 items )
Posted June 20, 2013
Posted October 28, 2012
Only eight pages and every "space" cliche in the book! (Pun intended.) If the author is 10, then good job. If not, you might want to consider some things i've heard of; grammar, punctuation, and editing.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted September 7, 2012
Posted August 30, 2012
Posted August 15, 2012
I sat outside that evening. What was I going to do? I had to think of something, or Noatak would die. I rubbed my forehead. My eyes were puffy and red from crying. Jira came outside and walked over to me. "I am so sorry, I never ment for this to happen..." I began. "I know" she said sorrowfully. "There is one thing I think I can do to fix this" I said. Jira looked at me, a small spark of hope in her eyes. "I will go to the Northern city" I tell her. It is a large city built into an icy cliff with buildings made of snow and ice. There were many waterbenders there, and they had some of the best healers in the world. "You think you will find a cure" Jira finished, nodding. "Yes" I say. "It is our only hope". "I will help you pack. It will take a few hours to get there on foot" she tells me. We go inside. I finish packing and prepare to leave. I stop next to Noatak. He looks awful, his skin is growing pale and he has a high fever. "I will fix this, I promise" I tell him softly. Then I walk outside. The yellow sun is sinking, a large fire ball in the sky, bathing the clouds in a red hue. Time is ticking, every moment is precious now. I am eager to leave, to find an answer. I tell Jira goodbye, and with a deep breath, I set out. Gray snow clouds gather in the distance as I walk, and I sigh. Walking through a snowstorm was not exactly what I had hoped for. After twenty minutes, I reached a cliff. I carefully walk a skinny path along the side. I am just about around the cliff when I hear a crunch. I run the rest of the trail, the path crumbling swiftly behind me. When I get to the end I stop, my hands on my knees. With a splash the snow and rocks fall like an avalanche into the frigid water below. Looks like I won't be taking that path again. I continued on. The sun sank lower and lower until it dissapeared behind the icy cliffs. The moon was just about full. I was walking down a snowy slope when a bloodcurling howl broke through the night. It was so close, I slid down the rest of the hill and hid behind a boulder. I held my breath. The wolf got closer and closer, I was sure it was going to get me. Then, it just turned away. I didn't move until I was positive that it was gone. It was late, the stars twinkling softly in the indigo sky. I decided it was okay to go to sleep. I curled up under a thick blanket, slightly sheltered by the boulder. When I opened my eyes, I was in the spirit world. This time though, I was standing on a small hill surrounded by greenish black water. "Avatar Aang?" I called out, my voice echoing around. "No" replied a soft voice, a womans voice. I turned around to face the most beautiful lady I had ever seen. She hovered above the water, and moonlight shone around her. Her hair was a whitish blonde, and it flowed loosly like water around her. Her flowing garments were the color of snow. And her eyes were a soft blue. I was looking at Moon Spirit Yue! To be continued at the next result.....
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Posted October 8, 2012
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