Diary of a Vindictive Closet Freak: Love, Loss, Lust and Lies

Diary of a Vindictive Closet Freak: Love, Loss, Lust and Lies

by Carmen Caboom

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I'm so proud of my heart. It's been played, stabbed, cheated, burned and broken, but somehow it still works. People say they have forgiven but they form a stereotype in their mind toward that person which they assign to every one that looks like or reminds them of that person. That is why a woman will have a bad experience with ONE or FEW men and decide that…  See more details below


I'm so proud of my heart. It's been played, stabbed, cheated, burned and broken, but somehow it still works. People say they have forgiven but they form a stereotype in their mind toward that person which they assign to every one that looks like or reminds them of that person. That is why a woman will have a bad experience with ONE or FEW men and decide that ALL men are shit, and vice versa. Sometimes, a man has to help heal a woman's heart before he can have it. Sometimes you have to live who you are not to know who you are.

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Diary of a Vindictive Closet Freak

Love, Loss, Lust and Lies
By Carmen CaBoom


Copyright © 2011 Carmen CaBoom
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4670-7299-1

Chapter One

It Ain't Ova' Til The Fat Lady Sings

Mr. Oooh-Wee!

He was a big, sexy muthaphucka, one I had to have. We'd met on facebook, the new match.com for fucking – as some have said. We started off as friends and one thing quickly led to another, which is when I'd found myself so in love with the thought of him. I imagined, in my head, that we'd finally meet for a nice dinner in a dimly lit upscale place. The dream was surreal. It was like I could actually taste, touch, as well as hear and see him so clearly. There we were, standing together in front of the salad bar inside The Steak Bar, a great local steak house. He had flown in earlier and was spending the weekend with me so that we could get better acquainted outside of the monotony of facebook. I bumped into him and spilled his drink all over his sexy body. He was wearing an all white linen ensemble that complimented him in all the right places. I just couldn't seem to get my eye, and mind, off of that huge and delicious bulge in the front of his pants. I wasn't sure if he'd noticed me entranced by it, but I was.

I blushed and flirted openly as I offered to clean up the mess, but he relented. Just as I had leaned down in attempts of wiping away the goop with the gob of white napkins I had just grabbed at the side of the stand, his hand touched mine and our eyes intermittently locked. It was so magical. I felt the hairs raise on both my arms and the back of my neck. I had a thing for this chocolate thunder of a stud. Yes, he had that whip appeal and I had it bad for that man. There was a great deal of undeniable chemistry between us and I could hardly wait for his big, strong hands to be all over me in my bed. I was so hungry, but not for anything that was being served on the menu. I had an appetite built up just for him and he knew it too. I wanted to take him into the nearest restroom, claw his clothes off and devour him with my mouth ... tongue ... and both of my lips ... Ummmm. That right there, yeah, that right there ... that was something that I wanted ... needed ... desired.

I somehow managed to resist the urge, gathering myself and enjoyed the intoxicating evening with him at the venue. I was such a tease. Every now and again, I'd slowly and seductively run the tip of my tongue along the rim of the glass, clink it with my nails as I traced it around the base of the glass while giving him "that look". There was so much charisma between us and the magnetic charge was turning me on. I wanted so much more of him and I was sure that he was feeling the same way. I could tell by the look in his eyes and the way they stared at my mouth as I talked to him. He was very much into me, and I was just as equally into him ... Mmmmm. We couldn't keep our eyes, or hands, off of each other. Once we were back at my place, we wasted no time tearing into each other's flesh. We were like wild animals in an uninhibited wild kingdom of sorts. I had gone into the bathroom, briefly, to freshen up and tie my hair. As soon as I had walked out and stepped into the bedroom, wearing only my birthday suit, it was on. He had a look in his eyes that told me, Girl, you're gonna' get it, and I was sure that I had that same look in my eyes. We were both mesmerized and utterly aroused, he bowed to my tits until his mouth met my tender flesh. My nipples dark, and those lovely hard buds tickled his tongue as he traced around one with the tip of his tongue before moving over to the next. He barely touched me with his hands, except to rest the tips of his fingers against my sides. My skin felt smoother than butter, and the thought of me coated in a thick drizzle of the stuff made him moan. He sucked me harder, persuading more of that mass of big caramel hued breast into his mouth.

I Feel Like Fukkin'

I feel like fukkin'
What about you?
I'm lying here in bed
Imagining the things that you could do.

This thang' is twirkin'
Something awful between my legs,
I've been calling and text messaging you all day
Come on man, don't make me beg.

You know what I want
Here, kitty-kitty ... Cum and get it,
You know you want to
Twirl your tongue around my clit and tits.

Just give it to me. We can play house -
Without all the drama,
I don't mind you playing daddy
I'll play the role of mama.

I don't want to make love
I feel like fukkin',
I want you blowin' my back out
Hard and fast suckin'.

I feel like fukkin' ...
I want your hands all over me,
Don't hold nothin' back
Fill me up ... completely.

I wanna' hear that "wet" sound
As your dick spanks that hot stuff,
Faster ... Faster ... Ummmm ...
You know I like it rough.

I want you to "dunk" that tongue
I wanna' "derb" your dick,
I feel like fukkin'
Like a porno chick.

We had been going at it for a while, banging the headboard against the wall. The aged mattress squeaked loud, muffling the bass of the love making music and my moans, but I could still hear that wet sound that my pussy made every time he stroked it. I loved it when he'd pull it out and go back in long and grind it in slowly with his back, hips and ass. It hurt so good as I clawed his big, moist back with each deep stroke. We fucked every which way that was humanly possible. We did it on the kitchen counter, against the wall in the hallway, in the shower, the patio and even in the car. It was raining that night. I remember it well. It was supposed to have been his last night in town and we were on our way back to my house from the movie theater. He slid his hand underneath my skirt while I was driving and starting fingering my tight pussy. It was all that I could do to keep the car on the right side of the road because I couldn't wait to bounce my wet pussy all over his big dick all over again. I had to pull over and give it to him. I hadn't done it in the car since I was a teenager. It was dark and raining. Once we made it back to my house, it was even more intense. We messed that bed up something terribly. Even after my leg had caught a bad cramp, we kept going as if there was no problem at all, making sweet music that only the two of us could hear. It was when I had turned around and was letting him hit it from the back that I felt him deep in my stomach. Oooh ... and it felt so good. His hands were smacking my moist butt cheeks and his damp balls were smacking against my clit with each thrust of his big, chocolate dick. Oooh-wee! His big dick was hitting the walls of my wet pussy and my eyes were rolling towards the back of my head as I bit down instinctively on my bottom lip. I needed that good dick all up inside of me like that. It had been such a long time since I'd had good dick like that. Good dick is hard to find.

His dick was long, strong, had raised veins that didn't seem to ever end with a helmet head on it. I just knew that it would be the lasting kind – the kind that would have me lying in a fetal position, sucking on my thumb, right before I'd fall fast asleep. I was throwing this good, hot, wet and tight pussy like a linebacker. He was catching it and throwing that good dick of his right back. I didn't want it to ever end. And it seemed as if neither of us would be tapped out anytime soon ... Oooh-wee! I loved it when he pulled my hair and slightly choked me. At one point, I turned around and flicked my hot tongue across his massive dick. I could tell by increased moans and the way that he pulled my head closer towards him that I was doing it right. Yes, he really liked the way that I was humming his name while sucking his balls. Moments later, I climbed up on him, locked my arms around my own head and began to slow roll my hot pussy all over his dick. He loved the way that I was rolling my hips and ass around in circles and grinding around on his dick. The way he pulled me in closer to him let me know that he wanted more. Back and forth, around and around, up and down in semi circles ... Ummmm. Then, I moved up higher by his prompting and I began to fuck his tongue while sitting on his face. His hot, wet, slithering tongue felt so good inside of me.... Mmmmm My pussy was like hot lava and he lapped it up with precision. His mind blowing signature "Icebreaker" technique was hypnotic. First, he started slowly massaging around my vagina lips with the ice. He rotated it back and forth from his mouth and hand. Once he had put it in his mouth, he started sucking on my pussy lips and used his tongue to massage my clit. As the ice melted, he slid it into my hot vagina and drowned himself in my luscious juices. He then crunched the ice up and while it was on his tongue, he placed it strategically on my clit ... Ummmm. Moments thereafter, I turned around and we began to slow grind in the 69 position. We had both already climaxed, but were still hungry for more. He held my legs up in The Buck position and began to slow grind my pussy while softly rubbing my clit with one finger and my butt hole with another simultaneously. I hadn't experienced so many orgasms at once in my life. My inner left leg trembled as if an earthquake was about to erupt inside of it and my eyes rolled like I was experiencing a seizure or something as he entered me for the last time. Then, we lay there together in each other's sticky sweat atop of the gigantic wet spot, contemplating who would get the wet rag. Neither of us could barely move for a while. I rubbed my hands across his wet chiseled chest and rock hard abs, not wanting the moment to ever end. I just wanted to lay there, on his chest, cradled in his strong arms forever. I had waited for what seemed like an eternity for this moment, but like all good things, this moment had to come to an abrupt end so that he could shower and prepare for his flight back to Baltimore. I didn't think we'd ever stop deep throating and sucking each other's hot tongues long enough to get ready to drive the few minutes to the airport in time for him to catch his flight. His kisses were so passionate and good. I loved kissing his mouth and every other part of him too. Secretly, I wanted him to miss his flight because I wanted him to extend his trip, even if it was only just for one more day.

Before we knew it, we were at it all over again ... Oooh-wee! I had showered and was standing in front of the bathroom sink, smoothing out the creases of the red lipstick around my sexy, luscious lips when he walked in and ran the tips of his fingers along the sides of my exposed arm before wrapping his strong arms around my lower torso. I was wearing only my favorite pair of sexy, fire engine red boy shorts, the ones with the lace around the top and bottom and red stilettos with the studs on the sides. Oooh ... he seemed to really love seeing me in those. His hands found their way inside my panties and he lowered himself to clench them in between his teeth. The stubble of his unshaven beard and mustache both tickled and highly aroused me to the point that I felt so weak in my knees, as if they'd buckle underneath me. I found myself squirming and all over the place. I grabbed the dildo from the bottom shelf of the medicine cabinet and strategically positioned him onto the side of the bathtub, placing the base of the dildo in his mouth. He didn't resist. And then, I mounted the dildo and began to ride it like it was his own as he held it firmly in place in his mouth. I liked that, and he did too. I arched my ass a little and he began to finger my holes with his thumb and finger. Oooh-wee! That felt so good to me. He wanted more of me, so he placed the dildo to the side and led me back to the queen sized bed where he began to thrust me deeply from the back while I braced myself with my left foot firmly on the floor as my right knee rested on the bed. I turned around and placed one of my legs up against his shoulders as he continued thrusting deeply inside of me while sucking on my toes ... Ummmm When he started rubbing my swollen clit and licking it like a wild man, I thought I'd surely have to be committed involuntarily. It was a shame how good that man made me feel. It was even more of a shame how I turned him over and began to ride his big, chocolate dick sideways like only a fat collard greens and cornbread cowgirl could. We had fallen asleep and when we awoke, we realized that he may have missed his plane. The morning traffic was brutal as usual, but I did my best to weave and maneuver my way through it in efforts of getting him to the airport in time.

I hope he's missed it so he can stay just one more day, I wished inside my head.

Once inside, we were informed by the agent that he had missed his flight by a few minutes and all other flights had been canceled at the last minute. I grabbed his bag and hand tightly as I squealed in delight, turning to lead him right back out to the crowded parking lot. I was so glad to know that we would be spending much more time together, getting more acquainted with each other. My body craved so much more of him. He was so damned good in bed that it was unbelievable. I couldn't resist him and neither could he resist any part of me. I wondered how I'd manage after he'd left town.

Yes!, I exclaimed.

He smiled as if he was somewhat just as happy about having missed his flight as I was.

We had just barely made it back inside the house before I was butt ass naked all over again and he was face down in between my hot legs. He loved it there and I loved him being there. Next, I braced myself with the palms of my hands as I lay face down on the plush carpeting of my downstairs room and I was slow rolling my pussy all over his big dick while he was pumping me hard from behind. Then, I turned around to rock steady on his tool, but first I had to hold it in hands before I placed it in my mouth. Mmmmm ... it melted in my mouth, not in my hands. It slid with ease across my waiting tongue just like silk as he began to pour the warm oil all over my body and massage it in, concentrating particularly on pummeling my ass with the oil while I continued to deep throat his dick, blowing bubbles with his juices before swallowing every single drop. I wanted to savor every inch of him. He was so delectable ... so yummy to taste.

"Ummm ... You're such a nasty girl", he said seductively with a devilish grin in between his deep moans.

"Mmmm, hmmm ... Yes, I am such a nasty girl ... your nasty girl, I purred. How nasty would you like for me to be?", I asked in between slow licks of his big dick as I stared seductively into his eyes.

"Baby, as nasty as you wanna' be", he said.

Yes, I was as nasty as I wanted to be and as nasty as so many others only wished that they could be. If only that hadn't been only a dream in my head. Mr. Oooh-wee was my dream man, but I wondered how long would he only be my dream before he was my reality. Only time would tell. I was so into him, but I wondered if it was all a mind-fuck on his part. I could only hope that I wasn't wasting my time. I cherished our friendship and just didn't want to ruin that if nothing materialized.

Long before I was "rubbing one out" to the Biggie and Lil' Kim's Fuck Me Interlude or imaging doing naughty things with the boyfriends in my head to duo Salt 'N Pepa's Push It, influencing me to want to "push it real good", I was getting my freak on in secret to Prince's erotic cuts. His Darling Nikki made my barely experienced teen body want to do a strip tease on my imaginary boyfriend's lap. I practiced many adolescent strip teases and pole dances to that song in the secret sexual chambers of my mind, body and soul. I was usually always the one "hunching" either my pillow, stuffed animals, a couch cushion or letting some mannish little boy who was just as curious about sex as I was "hunch" me. There was always some hunching going on at the back of the bus or classroom. The girls were always in heat and the mannish boys were always eager to serve them. Prince's Adore, that was one of my all time favorites. It was the late 1980's. I remember it well. Me and my first love, Bill, were sitting in the dark corner of the skating rink. It was the first time that I'd been able to convince mother to let me attend any recreational events without either her or any of my older siblings watching over me. I was about 13, going on 30, and he was about four years my senior. I loved his dirty drawers and was hopeful that he felt the same way for me. We'd write each other such sweet love letters and I truly adored the scent of his cologne on each one. It was when he let me wear his team jacket that I really felt I was a lucky girl. I daydreamed about him often with my head resting on my desk in class. I had zoned out and the subject matter was all about him, all day. He once beat up a boy at school, defending my honor and had been suspended from school for a few days. He didn't seem to mind. He was always looking for any reason to fight because he had so much pent up aggression inside of him, probably stemming from his sometimes volatile life at home, but he never took any of those aggressions out on me. He was always so gentle with me and I loved that about him. He was my chocolate, gentle giant and I loved his eyes ... and his mouth ... and his torso.


Excerpted from Diary of a Vindictive Closet Freak by Carmen CaBoom Copyright © 2011 by Carmen CaBoom. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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