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Dick for a Day: What Would You Do If You Had One?

Overview

What would a woman do if she awoke one morning to discover she'd grown a penis? Here's a collection of outrageous, artistic, and provocative answers from celebrities, authors, and feminists from around the world. From Terry McMillan to Jennifer Blowdry, from Patricia Cornwell to Linda Sexton Gray, readers find unexpected answers--hygienic, erotic, metaphysical and even spiritual.
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Overview

What would a woman do if she awoke one morning to discover she'd grown a penis? Here's a collection of outrageous, artistic, and provocative answers from celebrities, authors, and feminists from around the world. From Terry McMillan to Jennifer Blowdry, from Patricia Cornwell to Linda Sexton Gray, readers find unexpected answers--hygienic, erotic, metaphysical and even spiritual.
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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
Giles plays out a smart premise-ask various famous and less-famous women what they would do if endowed with male genitals for 24 hours-and gets surprisingly flaccid results. There are some funny one-liners (Terry McMillan: "First of all, I'd want to have a big one-and I'd show everybody"). But most of the humor here comes not from inventive use of the equipment but from quirky takes on the question. In a hilarious poem, Senator Sin imagines that by calling the number "1-800-YOR-DICK" she participates in a study in which women are given penises and then report the results (with the poignant coda, "A few/ never returned/ their dicks,/ moved away/ from family/ and friends,/ and are assumed/ to be passing/ as men."). Lisa Hill goes further and creates a world where women routinely have "the op" in order to become hermaphrodites. Rather than turning more macho, these newly endowed women head off to penis parlors where they subject their penises to painful waxing and other beauty treatments. Entries with a sexual angle, like Germaine Greer's plan to have sex with herself if length permits, are less successful and become pedestrian because there are so many of them. Like Janyce Stefan-Cole, many of the women writing here imagine that merely possessing male genitals would make them unable to resist sexual urges for women ("They were beautiful; even the plain ones held hope and destiny between their legs."). Others, however, do not imagine the genitals attached to their bodies at all, but akin to animated sex toys. Mary Mackey, for example, conjures up a penis that "hovered over me, still wearing his cunning little black leather chaps." Perhaps the unimaginative results of this volume indicate that women really do spend as little time thinking about the thing as they claim. (Feb.)
Library Journal
Don't let the outrageous title fool you. This collection of humorous feminist essays boasts contributors like Patricia Cornwell, Terry Macmillan, and Germaine Greer.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780679773535
  • Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 2/28/1997
  • Pages: 304
  • Sales rank: 1,232,591
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.50 (h) x 0.75 (d)

Meet the Author

Fiona Giles was born and raised in Australia and educated at Oxford, where she specialized in nineteenth-century literature. She lives in New York City with her husband.
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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments
Introduction
Snow White and Her Seven Dicks: A Fairy Tale of Tails 3
Terry McMillan 14
Penile Infraction 15
A Lewd Awakening 20
Size and Sensibility 24
1-800-YOR-DICK 31
Germaine Greer 46
Pick a Dick 47
Rise and Shine 50
There's No Such Thing as a Plaid Jockstrap 51
Patricia Cornwell 57
Pact 58
Salmancis 65
The Lorena Poems 73
Kaz Cooke 77
The Gift 78
Pentapod Freak Nest 84
Lisa Palac 89
Dildo Envy and Other Phallic Adventures 90
Poppy Z. Brite 110
Swollen Tide 112
Marilyn Monroe Dreams of Growing Her Own Penis Under Roots of Trees 124
Academic Figure Study I 127
Amy's Inches 128
Cheap Revenge 129
Tracy Sondern 141
Shhhhh 142
Daily Agenda 150
The Pricks in Physics: A Historical Fantasy 153
Victoria Roberts 161
Dick W. and His Pussy; or, Tess and Her Adequate Dick 162
Marisa Acocella 167
Cafe Star (Coming Soon Near You) 168
Flower Girl Pinup 172
Penis Parlor 173
Metamorphenix 185
Sydney Biddle Barrows 193
My Private Eye 194
Jackie O Reads Story of O and Wonders About Having Her Own Penis for a Day 205
Same Difference 208
Diane di Massa 222
Jook Sing and the Dragon 223
Broken 231
Ask Isadora 232
Maryanne Dever 235
Superdick 236
Hangin' with Sanjay 243
How to Be a Great Guy 249
Beeban Kidron 252
The Fun Dick 253
Look No Hands/One Night Stand 258
Jenny Holzer 260
An Evening at the Royalton 261
Liberty 270
Notes on Contributors 271
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Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews
  • Posted May 26, 2012

    I first read this book a decade ago and have read it over a doze

    I first read this book a decade ago and have read it over a dozen times since. It's a great compilation of stories that are fun and thought provoking. Get it and you'll see!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 24, 2000

    a real 'weiner'

    i felt myself laugh out loud while i read this book. i would read this book again if i didn't loan it to my friend. i highly recommend it. pick up a copy today.

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