Different Daughters: A Book by Mothers of Lesbiansby Louise Rafkin
"This book will help your mom understand. Give it to her."—Betty DeGeneres Coming out to mom is a lesbian rite of passage. In Different Daughters, thirty mothers of lesbians come together to trace their journeys towards acceptance of their daughters. Facing their fears and confusion, prejudice and misunderstandings, they speak honesty and bravely about the difficulties and joys of life with their "different daughters." Writing about families, community, religion, grandchildren, bisexuality, transgender issues, and coming out, the authors of Different Daughters raise questions shared by all mothers: How can we accept our children for who they are? How can we love our children even when they are different from us? This updated and expanded third edition of Louise Rafkin's landmark anthology includes new stories by mothers of bisexual women and young lesbians, a sister of a lesbian, and the brave testimony of one mother whose lesbian daughter is in the process of redefining her gender.
"Every lesbian should have two copies of Different Daughters, one for herself and one for her mom..."
Lambda Book Report
"This book will help your mom understand. Give it to her."
"Over and over, the women reiterate their love for their children, their refusal to cut them off, and their determination to maintain a mother-daughter bond."
New Directions for Women
"A successful, human and dignified statement..."
- Cleiss Press
- Publication date:
- Sold by:
- SIMON & SCHUSTER
- NOOK Book
- File size:
- 338 KB
Read an Excerpt
"In hindsight, I can see that though I may have initially thought I was writing Different Daughters for other women, this book was crucial to my own journey toward familial acceptance. It was simple: I wanted my mother to love and accept me, and I started from the top, addressing what I thought was the most difficult block to that goal. Now I see my lesbianism more as a part of my life, part of the package of who I am and why my mother and I get along and, only rarely, why we don’t. It hasn’t always been an easy to full acceptance, yet through our struggles we have grown to love each other more deeply and, most importantly, really know each other. I am forever grateful to my mother for her bravery and for simply sticking it out and doing the work of changing.
Still, though we’ve taken huge strides, individually and collectively, there is work to be done, even in areas of my own life, which has taken some unexpected turns. My partner of six years died suddenly last year. On top of the unbelievable and overwhelming pain of this loss, I now find myself in a battle with members of her family over her lifeour life. Although during her life they acknowledge our relationship, in her death they have chosen to denounce our partnership. Painfully, our commitment will most probably be debated by a cour jury. WE lesbians have won some battles, but on many levels we are still unprotected and vulnerable to a system that doesn’t yet legally recognize our love.
I hope someday there will no longer be a need for this book. Until that time arrives, I am happy that my optimistically undertaken, youthful project may help those seeking comfort and understanding. I continue to believe that love over-comes prejudice, that love us the most important thing we either give or receive, andfinallythat love makes love.”
Meet the Author
Louise Rafkin is the author of Other People’s Dirt and the editor of Different Mothers. She has been a commentator for NPR's All Things Considered and has written for Out Magazine. Her articles and essays appear frequently in The New York Times, Health Magazine, and Metropolitan Home. She lives in Oakland, CA. Different Daughter "Every lesbian should have two copies of Different Daughters, one for herself and one for her mom..." —Lambda Book Report "This book will help your mom understand. Give it to her." —Betty DeGeneres "Over and over, the women reiterate their love for their children, their refusal to cut them off, and their determination to maintain a mother-daughter bond." —New Directions for Women "A successful, human and dignified statement..." —Sarah Schulman
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