Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel: A Guide to Outwitting Your Boss, Your Coworkers, and the Other Pants-Wearing Ferrets in Your Life

Overview

 Back after a four–year hiatus, New York Times bestselling author Scott Adams presents an outrageous look at work, home and everyday life in his new book, Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel.

Building on Dilbert's theory that 'All people are idiots', Adams now says, 'All people are idiots. And they are also weasels.' Just ask anyone who worked at Enron.

In this book, Adams takes a look into the Weasel Zone, the giant grey area between good ...

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Overview

 Back after a four–year hiatus, New York Times bestselling author Scott Adams presents an outrageous look at work, home and everyday life in his new book, Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel.

Building on Dilbert's theory that 'All people are idiots', Adams now says, 'All people are idiots. And they are also weasels.' Just ask anyone who worked at Enron.

In this book, Adams takes a look into the Weasel Zone, the giant grey area between good moral behaviour and outright felonious activities. In the Weasel Zone, where most people reside, everything is misleading, but not exactly a lie. Building on his popular comic strip, Adams looks into work, home and everyday life and exposes the way of the weasel for everyone to see. With appearances from all the regular comic strip characters, Adams and Dilbert are at the top of their game – master satirists who expose the truth while making us laugh our heads off.

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
The Barnes & Noble Review
In this scathingly funny satire of corporate life, Scott Adams, the cartoonist whose deadpan style and ruthless honesty have made him the spokesperson for cubicle dwellers everywhere, calls upon Dilbert, Dogbert, and their colleagues to expose that most pernicious of workplace scourges -- the weasel! What exactly, you may be wondering, is a weasel? Well, a weasel is someone who doesn't know how to do his job but is a master at covering it up. A weasel is also someone who continuously annoys her coworkers but is unfailingly promoted to management-level jobs. In fact, weasels are ubiquitous and all-powerful: If you want to succeed, start asking how you, too, can become one! Throughout the book, Adams uses both cartoons and text to expose the strategies by which weasels have gained power. For example, the weasel manager can "motivate" his or her employees by telling them how much their raises would have been in a better economy. A highlight of the book are real emails from office workers recounting weasel-like behavior at their companies -- like the tale of a "New Attitude" campaign in which a manager fined her employees a dollar each time she caught them not smiling. As a bonus, Adams gives you some very direct techniques for dealing with unwanted coworkers: If you're trapped by a weasely office mate who just won't leave, nothing says "I need some quiet time" like trying to gnaw off your own arm! Thanks to Scott Adams, office workers everywhere can save their sanity with this hilarious book. Amina Sharma
Publishers Weekly
Adams, creator of the Dilbert comic strip and author of The Dilbert Principle and other huge sellers, now shares his sentiments on the office colleague everyone loves to hate: the weasel. This crafty character is the co-worker who stabs colleagues in the back and manages to get ahead without lifting a finger. As one cartoon illustrates, the weasel is the guy who tells poor Dilbert, "I'm Bucky, the project manager. Your assignment is painfully difficult and probably unnecessary. If you need me, I'll be complaining about you to your boss." Being a weasel isn't all bad, though; Adams observes that weasels often have successful careers without ever doing much work. There are several ways to accomplish this, one being, "For every task you plan to do, it's a good idea to have sixty tasks that you've promised to do later if you ever find the time. This gives everyone the impression that you are valiantly battling an avalanche of work and fighting against long odds to make the company successful. Or they might think you're a worthless, inefficient weasel. Either way, the pay is exactly the same and it cuts down on your workload." In short chapters, Adams discusses a variety of weasel behaviors, including leaving incorrect phone numbers to confuse callers, mastering the art of whining, and communicating effectively (which is "to say as much as possible without saying anything"). Sprinkled with Dilbert cartoons throughout, the book will strike a chord among the countless cubicle-dwellers to whom the weasel is all too familiar. 50 cartoons. (Nov.) Forecast: Given Adams's track record, along with a 25-city radio tour, a 15-city NPR campaign, a TV satellite tour and national advertising, this one is likely to take off quickly, especially among those disillusioned or just plain fed up with corporate America. Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780060521493
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 10/21/2003
  • Edition description: First Edition
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 368
  • Sales rank: 528,431
  • Product dimensions: 6.12 (w) x 8.12 (h) x 0.83 (d)

Meet the Author

Scott  Adams
Scott Adams is the creator of Dilbert, the comic strip that now appears in 1,550 newspapers worldwide. His first two hardcover business books, The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook, have sold more than two million copies and have appeared on the New York Times bestseller list for a combined total of sixty weeks.

Biography

Back when he was a lowly office worker slaving under fluorescent lights and drinking bad coffee at an unsatisfying string of office jobs, Scott Adams would try to stave off some of the mind-numbing boredom he faced each day by doodling a little comic strip about a hapless office drone he called Dilbert. As he worked, Adams filed away the fodder for his fledgling comic strip. Today, Dilbert is officially an empire -- and Adams is the CEO.

Adams didn't start his career path intending to become a workplace warrior. As he told FamousVeggie.com, he graduated high-school as valedictorian "because the other 39 people in my class couldn't spell ‘valedictorian.'" After earning a B.A. in economics at Hartwick College in Oneonta, New York, Adams went on to earn an M.B.A. at the University of California at Berkeley. Adding an interesting twist to his education, he also managed to pick up a Certified Hypnotist diploma from the Clement School of Hypnosis in 1981.

After college, during his often-brief tenure at a series of low-paying, low-on-the-totem-pole jobs at corporations from Crocker National Bank in San Francisco to Pacific Bell in San Ramon, Adams started to wonder if his sanity-saving doodles really could rescue him from a life spent working for The Man. Acting on a tip from a kindly fellow cartoonist, he picked up the 1988 Artist Markets guide and simply followed the instructions on how to get syndicated. He mailed out fifty sample Dilbert strips, and was offered a contract by United Media within weeks.

Adams's first attempt writing an actual book was 1996's The Dilbert Principle, which became a number one New York Times bestseller and one of the top-selling business books of all time. More than just a compilation of Adams's cartoons, the book included essays on the trials and tribulations of corporate culture. "Each one is on target and deliciously sardonic," said Booklist in its review. "Sometimes too true to be funny." Today, the strip continues its clip as the fastest-growing cartoon of all time, and is enjoyed daily by 150 million people in 1,900 newspapers, in 56 countries.

Transitioning from comic compilations to full books was a challenge for Adams. As he admitted to Salon.com, "Drawing the comic strip is fun -- it can actually increase my energy. I feel good when I'm doing it, and I feel good when it's done. But writing just sucks the energy right out of me. I find that after about an hour of writing sometimes I have to jump on the floor and fall asleep, right now. It's so much harder than it looks."

When he's not helping Dilbert bring a smile to the faces of the working wounded, Adams moonlights as a restaurateur, running two successful Stacey's Cafés in Northern California. He has also founded the Scott Adams Foods company, home of the Dilberito™ -- a protein-packed burrito perfect for the office microwave.

Good To Know

Adams describes himself as a "a cat-loving, vegetarian tennis player."

His past jobs include bank teller, computer programmer, financial analyst, product manager, loan officer, corporate strategist, and pseudo-engineer. Says Adams, "I was incompetent in each of those fields, but for some reason no one ever noticed."

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    1. Hometown:
      Danville, California
    1. Date of Birth:
      June 8, 1957
    2. Place of Birth:
      Catskill, New York
    1. Education:
      B.A., Hartwick College, 1979; M.B.A., University of California, Berkeley, 1986

Read an Excerpt

Entertaining Yourself at Work

Criticizing Coworkers

If you don't feel like doing any actual work, and yet you want to appear "useful," you can spend your workday criticizing coworkers, i.e., weasel work. It's both easy and entertaining and it shows your dedication to teamwork.

Luckily for you, your coworkers are no better at their jobs than you are at yours. So there's plenty of material to work with.

Try to resist the urge to laugh out loud as you enjoy your God-given right of making other people feel like losers. Pick out some obvious problems with a coworker's performance and then suggest the most unpleasant solution imaginable. For example:

"Gee, Carl, it looks like your customers and vendors aren't on the same page. You should host a conference somewhere in the middle of their locations, like Iraq, to work out all of the differences."

Later, when your coworker runs into problems with his project, you can remind him that you suggested a solution but it was "ignored." Then shake your head in disgust and shuffle away.

Taking Training

If you get a kick out of making your boss nervous, take training classes. Bosses know that when you display an appetite for learning, it means one thing: you're planning to leave for a better job.

Your pointy-haired boss would prefer that you remain slightly incompetent because incompetence is less expensive than training, a and incompetent employees can't leave for better jobs. And when your boss wants to experience the joy of criticizing subordinates, untrained employees are a target-rich environment.

That's why you should sign up for training classes at every opportunity, such as when your boss is on vacation. Training is easier than working-especially if you don't pay attention to the instructor-and it makes your boss squirm. That's a win-win scenario. After the training, drop hints of your impending departure like "Those training classes have made me see how wonderful the world is -- out there."

Attractiveness

Attractive people have special weasel privileges because the rest of us like to look at them. No one wants to take a chance of angering good-looking people because if they go someplace else, then we'll have to sit around looking at each other. And that's not entertaining.

Have you ever noticed that attractive people leave early from any gathering? If it's a long meeting, they leave during the first break. If it's a party, they leave halfway through. Sometimes they say they're planning to attend but they don't show up.

I first noticed this effect when I was in my early twenties. At that age I didn't dare talk during meetings because I didn't know what any of the buzzwords meant. I could sit in a meeting for three hours and leave without even knowing what the topic had been. I compensated for my complete worthlessness by nodding and sometimes pretending to take notes. For me, the only way to survive the boredom was to stare at attractive women in the room and fantasize that they lusted after short, confused men with thick glasses. I imagined that if they only got to know the real me, they would understand that I have no discernible personality either, and it would be a turn-on.

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Table of Contents

Introduction 1
1 Avoiding Work the Weasel Way 9
2 Entertaining Yourself at Work 35
3 Getting Your Way at Work 39
4 Headcount Weasels 75
5 Motivating Like a Weasel 90
6 Manager Weasels 109
7 Negotiating Like a Weasel 142
8 Weaseliest Professions 159
9 Financial Weasels 172
10 Airline Weasels 181
11 Marketing Weasels 187
12 Sales Weasels 198
13 CEO Weasels 206
14 Social Weaseling 215
15 Nature Lovers 230
16 Weasel Debating Techniques 234
17 Whining Like a Weasel 241
18 Weasels Are from Venus 248
19 Weasel Products 257
20 Weasel Types 263
21 Weasel Fairness and Justice 272
22 Miscellaneous Weasels 282
23 Philosophy of Weasels 313
24 The Weasel Mind 322
25 The Sign of the Weasel 337
26 Weasel Abuse 340
27 Final Thoughts on Weasels 345
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First Chapter

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel

Entertaining Yourself at Work

Criticizing Coworkers

If you don't feel like doing any actual work, and yet you want to appear "useful," you can spend your workday criticizing coworkers, i.e., weasel work. It's both easy and entertaining and it shows your dedication to teamwork.

Luckily for you, your coworkers are no better at their jobs than you are at yours. So there's plenty of material to work with.

Try to resist the urge to laugh out loud as you enjoy your God-given right of making other people feel like losers. Pick out some obvious problems with a coworker's performance and then suggest the most unpleasant solution imaginable. For example:

"Gee, Carl, it looks like your customers and vendors aren't on the same page. You should host a conference somewhere in the middle of their locations, like Iraq, to work out all of the differences."

Later, when your coworker runs into problems with his project, you can remind him that you suggested a solution but it was "ignored." Then shake your head in disgust and shuffle away.

Taking Training

If you get a kick out of making your boss nervous, take training classes. Bosses know that when you display an appetite for learning, it means one thing: you're planning to leave for a better job.

Your pointy-haired boss would prefer that you remain slightly incompetent because incompetence is less expensive than training, a and incompetent employees can't leave for better jobs. And when your boss wants to experience the joy of criticizing subordinates, untrained employees are a target-rich environment.

That's why you should sign up for training classes at every opportunity, such as when your boss is on vacation. Training is easier than working-especially if you don't pay attention to the instructor-and it makes your boss squirm. That's a win-win scenario. After the training, drop hints of your impending departure like "Those training classes have made me see how wonderful the world is -- out there."

Attractiveness

Attractive people have special weasel privileges because the rest of us like to look at them. No one wants to take a chance of angering good-looking people because if they go someplace else, then we'll have to sit around looking at each other. And that's not entertaining.

Have you ever noticed that attractive people leave early from any gathering? If it's a long meeting, they leave during the first break. If it's a party, they leave halfway through. Sometimes they say they're planning to attend but they don't show up.

I first noticed this effect when I was in my early twenties. At that age I didn't dare talk during meetings because I didn't know what any of the buzzwords meant. I could sit in a meeting for three hours and leave without even knowing what the topic had been. I compensated for my complete worthlessness by nodding and sometimes pretending to take notes. For me, the only way to survive the boredom was to stare at attractive women in the room and fantasize that they lusted after short, confused men with thick glasses. I imagined that if they only got to know the real me, they would understand that I have no discernible personality either, and it would be a turn-on.

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel . Copyright &#copy; by Scott Adams. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
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Sort by: Showing all of 8 Customer Reviews
  • Posted March 31, 2012

    Is Scott Adams clairvoyant?

    Yes, this book's funny. Disturbingly funny. Scott Adams has a spooky way of capturing workplace foibles that would be hilarious were it not so true. My 30+ year career has proven that institutional chicanery and the resulting mayhem are ubiquitous ... in private companies, government agencies, not-for-profits, politics right-to-left, and churches ... from international to tiny and every size in-between. It's a weasel world, friends, and ... don't look now ... you're a weasel. (The good news: Contrary to long-cherished myth, the world's not going to perdition in a handbasket; it's always been a weasel world, you're just getting around to learning the truth. The antidote? Learn Mandarin, 'cause we're gonna lose it all.)

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 9, 2004

    Definately a workplace guide

    After reading this book, I know now why certain people get privileges and other get shafted. This is a excellent book not only for the humor that is contained within, but how it relates to the workplace. An absolute must for fans of Dilbert, plus a survival guide for the working world. A handy guide for identifying, dodging, and outwitting all the weasels in life.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 25, 2002

    The Secret World of Weasels EXPOSED

    WAY OF THE WEASEL is masterpiece describing the intricate workings of weaselhood. It will weasel its way to the top.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 26, 2002

    The DNRC says this is the greatest book of all time

    A wonderful peice of art that is there to pick you up when you are down, and gives you something to laugh at while in the rest room. All will learn and all will enjoy! If the DNRC loves this book then so do I...

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 27, 2002

    COOL!!!!!! BUY IT NOW!!!!!!

    awsome book! if you like dilbert Or humor Or any thing, BUY THIS BOOK!!!! its a great book!!!!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 27, 2002

    DNRC Says Go Dilbert Go!

    I am a member of the DNRC, and I think I speak for us all when I say that we should support this book as fuuly as possible, and read it many times, and sucker our friends into reading it and maybe getting the lazy bums to buy their own copies...

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 31, 2009

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 26, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

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